The Start of the Holiday Season

Nutcracker
Posted Monday, December 01, 2008 9:06 AM

Matt and I went to see the Moscow Ballet last night. It was so much fun. I love seeing the ballet. I know it sounds bland, but it is so beautiful. This is my 6th year of going to the Nutcracker. I've seen the Royal Canadian Ballet perform it, but by far, the Russian dancers are the best. The Moscow ballet doesn't have the same kind of money invested in the costumes or props, but the dancing is so brilliant.
It was a perfect night for it. It was freezing and had been flurrying all day. Matt and I got dressed up and watched. After we left, it was snowing hard and we listened to Christmas music on the way home. It really put me in the Christmas spirit.
Normally, the Black Friday shopping would get me ready for the holidays, but this year, being pregnant made me worried to be out with the crazies. I went to a Wal-Mart Super-Center as my 3rd store and there were cop cars everywhere. No one was killed like that poor employee in Long Island, but there were 2 fist fights back in electronics. One over an x-box 360 and another over a digital camera. I feel so sorry for everyone working retail on Black Friday. I have yet to meet someone who works retail that doesn't want a better job. On this day, I can't imagine a person alive that wouldn't want to quit their retail job.
I think Black Friday exposes the worst in Christian Shoppers. Everyone is out in order to buy that perfect gift and people lose sight of the Holiday spirit. People fist fight over game systems and trample poor retail workers. People are mean-spirited and cut-throat. It is amazing that their aren't more deaths from people getting run down in parking lots because everyone is in a huge hurry and no one cares about anything else except being the first person to get whatever hot ticket item they intend to nab.
I feel bad because I was in line at K-mart for a blu-ray player and a mentally handicapped boy rode up on his bike in the cold. He parked his bike up at the front of the line. He didn't really understand the hub-bub about standing in the line and the rush. When they came out to give the line tickets, he took a ticket for a GPS system. There were people in line who were going crazy about it and the K-mart manager made him give it back. The boy cried and it broke my heart. People need to get a grip when it comes to the Holiday sale. No gadget is so important that you would have to sacrifice being a good person.
I'm happy that the ballet turned out so well. I wasn't sure if I was in the mood for it, but I made myself get up and go. It just felt like the perfect way to end the Thanksgiving weekend and begin the Christmas Season.

Christmas Shopping
Posted Tuesday, December 02, 2008 7:43 AM

I am almost finished now. I bought my last girl from the giving tree all of her stuff. I turned in the gifts for my other kids and I stuck to $90 a piece. For this girl though, I went a little overboard.
I decided to go to Wal-Mart to buy her stuff because I can really stretch a dollar there. I was so excited. I bought her a pair of blue jeans, a sweater dress, leggings, (fake) uggs, a cute lei white shirt with heart shaped buttons, a big puffy white coat with a pink knit sock hat and matching gloves. I also got her an ornament full of bangles, a portable electric heater with a kick-off function so it can't catch fire. I got a lip gloss set, a box of chocolates, a big fuzzy blue pillow, a big microplush blanket for her bed and a really awesome fuzzy blanket made of faux fur and it is bright purple.
I hope she really likes the stuff I got her. I wish I could see the kids' faces when they open the gifts, but that is a selfish thing to want. I called Matt last night and I was positive I was going to be in trouble for going over my budget. I told him I spent $140 on her. I was waiting for the, "Mandy, we don't have that kind of money, this is the 3rd kid for Christmas we've bought for." But he said, "These are kids whose parents can't afford a nice Christmas?" I said, "Yep." He said he was glad I got her such nice stuff. I swear, I am going to break the bank this year with buying for these kids.
I have to admit, I was most excited about the Christmas I bought her. The other kids I bought for got PJs and teddy bears and blankets, slippers, bath sets, and a candy assortment and portable heaters too, but I just couldn't stop myself this time around. I told Matt that I am happy I bought for all girls this year because next year when we have the boys, I will probably only buy for one other kid and I will probably try to buy for a boy who is our boys' age. Buying for girls this year was so much fun.
That being said, I have only a few more gifts to buy. I have my Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa on my Dad's side, my best friend, my cousin's husband, and my carpoolers. Then I have to buy stuff for Matt's stocking. I can't believe I've waited this late this year. Usually Black Friday would be my last shopping day, not my first!
Also, I bought rubber duckies for the boys for next Christmas. One rubber ducky has reindeer antlers and the other ducky is dressed as Santa. I can't wait until Ethan and James' first Christmas. I want to take my little boys to see Santa so badly. I want to buy babies first Christmas everything, but I am demonstrating restraint this year because I want to buy them things only once I start to get to know them. Right now, the only thing I know is that they like to kick.
Listening to me ramble, you'd never know I was up half the night throwing up with contractions and was thinking about going to the hospital. Luckily everything subsided and I got some good sleep. I'm happy I had Matt to be my nurse last night. He rubbed my sides, which seems silly, but getting the sides of my belly rubbed helps so much with my discomfort.

24weeks 5days Pic
Posted Wednesday, December 03, 2008 7:22 PM

When the boys get big, we all get big. I love the babies, but I feel like I'm starting to waddle more than walk. That is a bit embarrassing.

Kick-Boxing
Posted Friday, December 05, 2008 9:52 AM

My babies kickboxed their Daddy last night. It was the cutest thing. I've been feeling my little guys kick around for quite some time, and Matt has felt them move around a bit, but it is one of those things where he has been disappointed because he can never tell if it is really them or if it is just him wanting it so bad, that he's fooling himself. I can't tell for sure. I think he's felt it for real a couple times, but then at other times, I think he has made it up in his head.
Last night while we were in bed, I was laying on my right side. The right side is where the boys would normally hang out, but lately, they've been rolly-polly and moving everywhere. Matt was laying behind me and he had his hand on my left hip. I said, "Why don't you try to feel your boys?" He said, "I never know if I am really feeling them. I always think I am, but I just don't know." He moved his hand on my belly and had his arm draped across my bump. He had it there a few minutes and said, "I can't feel a thing." I told him that he had to be patient. Usually after a few minutes of me laying down, the boys will get going. Just after I said that, one of these babies kicked me so hard, I lost my breath and Matt jumped back and was like, "Oh my God, Did you feel that?" I was like, "Uh-huh." He put his arm back on my tummy and the babies didn't kick at his hand, but I was feeling multiple kicks at his arm.
It was so funny. Matt was giggling. He was saying, "I am really feeling them." All I could say is, "Me too." I'm so glad he got to feel it. Those were by far, the hardest kicks I've ever felt. It was really cool. I guess my boys are starting to get strong. Next Friday I get my GD test. I hope I don't have GD, but if I do, I guess I will just deal with it. I want big babies, but not, too big babies.

James Bond
Posted Sunday, December 07, 2008 11:05 AM

It was the 'Cans' Film Festival at the movie theater. It is where you donate 5 canned goods to the Salvation Army and you get a movie ticket before 5pm. Matt and I decided to go see Quantum of Solace. I love it. It wasn't quite as good as Casino Royal, but it was entertaining. I think it got to be too Bourne at times with the cutting back and forth in action scenes which leaves the viewer thinking, "What the heck is going on!?!"
Anyway, I love to look at Daniel Craig and I stand by my previous statement that Daniel Craig has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Never saw that color blue before him. I don't know why I find him so attractive, but he's got that something.

Also, I almost love the song, "Another Way to Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keys. I was telling Matt, I've always loved Jack White's voice. I think it is so unique and there are so few songs from him and his numerous bands that I don't like. I said that Alicia Keys has a great voice, but when it comes to this song, I think it doesn't suit her and she should just leave it to Jack. So last night, I had a dream that I worked for Alicia Keys and I had to clean her houseboat. I don't know why pregnancy dreams are so weird, but I figure that was payback for liking Jack White more.
And one last cute thing. Both boys were kicking alot during the movie. Matt had his hand on my belly the whole time. It is so cool that they decide to be mobile during a Bond movie since one of our little guys is named James after the most awesome character in espionage and Ethan is names from the Mission Impossible movies. We are so happy that our little boys like their spy action. I know that I always did. It was so hard to convince my girlfriends while I was in middle school to come to the movies to see GoldenEye with me on my birthday!

Super Husband
Posted Monday, December 08, 2008 9:42 AM

Last night, we stopped at a few different department stores and we just walked around while he asked me to point things out that I want so he can buy me what I want for Christmas. It was so sweet. Then we went out to eat. Also, he gave me a gift that was so cute. He bought me something for our little boys.
It is so adorable, He bought me these as a present for our babies. They are both in Newborn size. He got me them in Panama Blue. I just about cried when he gave them to me http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?DeptID=63110&CatID=63110&Grptyp=PRD&ItemId=14620db&siteID=210052734
I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful day, but I fell asleep last night with Matt's hands on my belly and it just felt like such a sweet end to a wonderful day. Things couldn't have been more perfect. I'm not high maintenance, so days like that aren't something I'd ever think to ask for, but it was amazing that he thought I deserved it.

Bridal Shower/Baby Shower/Work/Work/Work
Posted Tuesday, December 09, 2008 12:27 PM

I have so much to do lately. I'm just so tired. There were massive problems at work yesterday the internet didn't work for 2 hours. Then all our company applications were down the entire day. E-mails didn't work. All because a 24 inch pipe burst and flooded the room with our servers. It was a big fiasco. I was working like mad trying to get things done.

After working a bit of OT yesterday, I got home and wanted to vent a bit online, but the internet at home didn't work. That was about as frustrating as it gets.
I have to get my invitation list together for my baby shower and turn it over to my mother who will turn it over to whatever friend is running this covert operation. On top of that, I really need to contact the other Bridesmaids in my best friend's wedding to schedule a get-together.
I also really need to go grocery shopping tonight. I got Long John Silvers for dinner last night because I love their chicken planks. I thought, if I'm craving it, I will be able to keep it down. I couldn't even take a bite. I held the chicken plank in my hand and brought it up to my mouth and I started dry-heaving. It was awful. It had to be psychological, otherwise, why would I not even be able to get it on my tongue? I wanted it so badly. Now I am wondering if after I give birth, will my head let me eat some freakin chicken?
Oh, and I can feel my boys stretching inside me now. I swear, it is like my tummy tries to move in very odd ways without my doing. I can't wait until Friday when I get to see my little ones again. These boys are the best thing in life right now. I just need to remember that the reason Mommy works hard is to make sure they can go to Ivy League Universities one day.

To FedEx or not to FedEx
Posted Wednesday, December 10, 2008 11:41 AM

One of Matt's friends from when he was growing up is getting married this Sunday. We planned on going and we have bought the gift and have it wrapped and sitting on the kitchen counter. The thing is, I just want to stay home and sleep.
It seems like this weekend is going to be busy. I am going to have my GD test on Friday, then I have a happy hour that night followed by coming home to help Matt with the boys' room. Then on Saturday, I am having my sister out to the house and I'm keeping her the whole night. Then we were supposed to drop her off at my parent's house early, drive the 4 hours to Branson for their wedding that is up in the mountains. I read about the church, they boast that their church has a parking lot very far away and you have to nature walk to get to the darn thing. I immediately thought, what about the disabled? Anyway, I am going to be 26 weeks along with twins going on a freakin nature walk in the mountains. I think it screams disaster.
The thing is, Matt was really good friends with the groom, him and his twin brother. I remember them as always being really nice guys. It would be cool for Matt to get to see them again because they have been away at school. Matt doesn't want to go alone, and I don't want him to either. I just wish the wedding was in town, because we are turning around and driving home after the reception. 8 hours in the car on Sunday :(
I was just thinking that maybe we could FedEx the gift and say we are sorry that we can't make it. But I feel guilty because both twins came to our wedding. They were so excited to hear of our twin boys on the way. I would be very proud to have sons that turn out like the both of them. They are great guys. It would be fun to go see them, just difficult.
And speaking of twin boys, the little ones are consistently kicking. Little James and Ethan haven't given me a peaceful hour in days, always little taps to remind Mommy that she's never alone anymore. And I only have 100 days left of being pregnant if I give birth on my due date, so most likely, I have less than 100 days of being pregnant. Pretty cool!

Passed out on the Table
Posted Friday, December 12, 2008 3:13 PM

I took my GD test today. I don't get results unless my iron is low or my blood sugar is high. Immediately after my blood draw, I had to go to my ultrasound. I made it through Baby A, then onto Baby B. I told the tech, "I'm feeling very dizzy" She told me to roll on my left side. I really thought that I was, at least I remember starting to, then the next thing I remember is my Mom holding my head up and smacking me in the cheek.
It was really strange. I remembered thinking, the sound is awful foggy and muffled. Then, I felt like I was asleep and asleep peacefully. When I woke up, I swear, it was so sudden. The light in the room stunned me. My Mom said when I came to, that I jerked up. The tech got me a banana and crackers in the break room. She said in combination with the glucose test and me laying on my back for baby A, that she thinks that my blood sugar dropping with the blood cut off to my heart just made me go right out.
But in good news, I am 26 weeks along. Baby A and B have great heart rates. Baby A is 2 lbs1 ounce, and Baby B is 1 lb 15 ounces. Baby B has turned to feet down and is no longer in competition for first born. I hope he at least has the room to flip back over by birthing time. Baby B had his butt in Baby A's face so we couldn't get a good profile shot of Baby A, but I will say this again, "Both Babies, definitely ALL BOY"
And during my Dr appointment, they measured my tummy and they said that if this was a singleton pregnancy, I'm measuring at 33 weeks along. It is crazy to think of that, but I've got twice as much baby in here and I just can't wait to meet them.

We Didn't Go
Posted Sunday, December 14, 2008 5:26 PM

We didn't go to the wedding today. I feel a little bad, but at the same, they didn't send out formal RSVPs for the invitations. I apologized via Facebook, the same way I RSVP'd. We are just going to send the gift.
To be honest, being in the car that long would have killed me. After Friday's fainting spell and the killer headache that followed, there would have been no way I'd make it.
On top of that, Matt's boss told him that he had to work today or stay late on Monday because, in his boss' words, "We've let you have so much time off for school." Grand total for the sememster was 4 hours. So it didn't matter that Matt worked 12 hours OT this week, he had to go in either today or Monday night (the night of his final) because he took off 2 hours early one day this week. Matt was ticked, but it made me feel good that I wasn't the sole reason we had to miss the wedding.
Oh, and it makes me feel a lot better that we didn't drive into the mountains today. There is a huge winter storm rolling into our area tonight. I used today to bake cookies and communicate with fellow bridesmaids for my best friend's wedding shower. I'm at my parent's house right now while Matt is wrapping my Christmas presents at home and I'm giving him quiet homework time.
And I wanted to say one thing about baby registries. They are super-hard to put together. I need to do it soon before I get a bunch of stuff I don't want. I have Babies R Us almost finished, but I also need to get Target and Wal-Mart done. If I'm not snowed in tomorrow, then I am going to try to do them tomorrow while Matt has his final. This weekend seemed so quick. Oh well, back to yet another week.

So Unhappy
Posted Wednesday, December 17, 2008 10:46 PM

I just don't know what is wrong with me. I get so sad lately. Very sad. I don't think about killing myself, but I do think about what would happen if I were to die. I wonder if the people in my life would be better off. I know it sounds horrible, but I think of what Matt could do with the insurance money. I just think about, what if I die while giving birth. Everyone would be sad, but they would have my boys and maybe that would make up for it.
I've always had trouble bonding with people. I am a person with a lot of friends, but not too many are close. I don't like letting people too close. I had tons of close friends in high school and I ended up being alienated after a bunch of my girlfriends started dating the guy I was was madly in love with after he broke up with me. I know that sounds silly and crazy to hold a grudge against close companions and friends for something that happened so long ago, but I had a very rough time with it and I did some crazy things back then, all in the name of getting even.
I have Matt, and that is great. I love him with all my heart, but he is so busy lately. He has a lot to do and I understand that spending a lot of time together isn't possible. I guess it is just the holidays that makes it hurt to not be able to go out with him. I always liked being taken out. Now, I just do things alone because Matt works such long hours. He finally finished school, but all the time he used to be in class and studying, he now works on his portfolio. It makes sense. I'm just tired of being lonely. I talk to myself an awful lot.
People say I shouldn't be so unhappy. I am going to be a mother to two healthy baby boys. I have a good job that pays for a great house which I got to decorate. I have a husband who loves me, who says I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. I just wish I had him with me more to enjoy the amazing life I'm leading.
Oh, and tomorrow marks the start of my third trimester. Yay for being close to the end.

There Was a Kink in My Think Yesterday
Posted Thursday, December 18, 2008 9:17 AM

That is about the best way to describe how I felt. It really sucks when you are miserable, but you have no desire to rip yourself out of the funk. I spent all yesterday thinking about right after my wedding. I thought about being thin and wearing a swimsuit. I now have a huge belly covered in stretch marks all along my lower abdomen. I thought about how Matt and I would go out and get margaritas and have tons of fun at parties. I was thinking about the weekend we got back from our honeymoon, we went to a concert and acted young and crazy. These days have all passed.
Dear lord, I'm making myself upset again. Anyway, I just feel like I'm this whole new person over the course of a year and it is so hard to get used to. I think that when the babies are here, I will be busier with taking care of them and I won't have the time to think about being lonely. It feels like right now, I'm busy, but there is this sense of, I'm waiting and waiting and waiting. Matt being busy and not making time for us was just making me upset. It isn't as though he makes time for himself, but at the same time, I just wish the portfolio could wait one night. I completely shut down yesterday. Matt tried to make things better, but I was just in this lathargic state where all I did was get all up in my head, wallowing in self-pity. It was just stupid. I didn't want him to make things better last night. I felt like I was on the brink of tears, but they just wouldnt come, and then there was more waiting, "When would I feel just slightly more sad, enough to actually let out what I was feeling?"
I love Matt, and I wish I felt a bit more like I did before I found out about having the babies. There is this thing I always remember when I get sad for no explanation. I think of it because I refuse to be called depressed. If I have a problem, it can be fixed. That little bit of information I throw into my own face whenever I think this could be depression, is that most of the people who are depressed are the most fortunate people in this world. You never hear of people who are really in need, suffering from depression. I believe it is the determination a person feels to better themselves, that gives them a reason to not feel that depression. Complacency is the biggest problem. When someone gets too comfortable, they have more time to contemplate concepts of Happiness and Depression. When I feel depressed, I just think to myself, you have to snap out of this, Do something, do something, do something. Depression really is a kink in your think, and maybe the only way to get over it is to find the right medicine or activity that can pull you outside of you head for awhile.
So this was my lame attempt to say that today, I've burried myself in work and I absolutely refuse to think about being lonely.

So Close, and Yet...So FAR
Posted Friday, December 19, 2008 9:31 AM

The Remote control that operates the cable box. Why is it that I always accidentally grab the remote for the television and not the universal remote? I was watching TV last night and wanted to flip the channel. I couldn't. The good remote was sitting up by the television. I did the only thing that made sense. I turned the TV off and took a nice nap.
The post office next to my work. For a USPS location I can see from my office, I have to walk an awful far way to get there. I have to walk around the entire floor of my building to the elevators. Then I have to get off on the Mezzanine, walk around the floor to the escalators, go through security and loop back around to the doors. Once outside, I walk only 1 block over. But it isn't like it is easy to get in that building. I have to go up the escalators and then I can travel back.
The trip to the post office really had me winded this morning. I wanted to pass out on my desk when I got back.
So that was my little rant on how, when you are (big) pregnant, you just wish everything was closer. Oh, and one last little thing that I notice myself doing, is getting upset that there is no expecting mother parking anywhere anymore. Every time I am walking from the back of a parking lot into a store and I see a young person getting into their car in a close spot, I can't help but get extremely jealous.
In good news, I 'think' I don't have Gestational Diabetes. My Dr's office told me last week on Friday that it would take 2 days to find out the results. They would call me if my iron was too low or my sugar was too high. And here I am, one week later and no phone calls. I went to the office last night to get a preservative-free flu shot and I asked them about the results. They said, "If no one called you, then you are free and clear." I passed the 1 hour test. I feel like I defied the odds. Twins makes you more likely to have it and I don't. I really think God threw me a bone. I wish they would have told me the number though.
Everyone have a wonderful weekend. If you are traveling for the holidays, drive or fly safe. I'm not sure how much I will be on for the next week. If I don't write before then, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays no matter what what you celebrate!

Been Crying So Hard
Posted Sunday, December 21, 2008 1:56 AM

I'm not a big animal person by any means. I was so mad yesterday when Matt said he was bringing home a stray cat he caught at work. The cat is completely feral, but it is young, probably between 4 and 6 months. Matt caught the cat in a trap at his work. I told him last week when they caught their first cat that I don't want one and I'm glad he didn't bring it home. So he says on Friday, that he brought this cat home because he thought I'd like it.
Last night, I yelled at Matt after his friend left the house. I'm not the type of person to start crap in front of his friends and embarrass him, but I don't want to just disregard that he made a decision without my knowledge, while he knew that I didn't want a cat. He started saying fine, we'd get rid of it, take it to the humane society since it is scared to death of us and won't get out of his or her hiding spot in the garage. I put out some bologna, milk, and water . She or he had some last night. I also made him or her a bed out of blankets and put the shirt I was wearing out with him/her. I feel responsible for the cat now and I can't bring it to the humane society. She's so scared, they'd put her to sleep because she's not a sweet outgoing cat.
Matt mentioned on our way driving to the country this morning that she got a tooth in him last night while he was getting her/him in the cage. My Mom is so afraid that the cat, and now my husband has rabies. I had spent the whole night and then today thinking of how to socialize the cat. I wanted to buy her/him a ball of yarn to chase around. I was thinking about names for him/her. I was going to take her/him in on Tuesday to get shots and see if I could schedule a spayed (sp) or neuter. Now Matt is talking about getting the cat checked for rabies. That would mean euthanizing her and then sending his/her head to the lab.
I've been crying so hard. I don't want Matt hurt, but this kitty, I didn't even want and now, after I've grown to feel sorry for her/him, might be taken away. The poor cat isn't acting loopy, just terrified and hiding. She/he is a sweet looking little thing. Very pretty kitty. In one day, she was trapped in a cage, taken from her/his brothers and sisters and Mom, brought to a strange place with strange looking people when she just wanted to get some food.
Oh my gosh, big upper: Matt was on the phone as I blogged this at 2am on a Saturday night with the physician at his Dr's exchange. We have to observe the cat for 10 days and if she/he doesn't go through the furious stage or die within the 10 days, both my kitty cat and my husband will live. I didn't even want the cat, but what I wanted far less was my husband to have rabies and the pet that my husband brought me, although shy and timid, I didn't want her/his head cut off. I kinda like her, she/he's Caleco colored. I don't really know if it is boy or girl. Most calecos are girls, so I assume girl. Anyway, it is 2am and I'm tired and just got done crying, blogging over, kitty lives! Hopefully she/he will let us be around her tomorrow because Matt and I plan on spending the evening in the garage and talking and acting non-threatening.

Curious, Like a Cat, about a Cat
Posted Sunday, December 21, 2008 10:46 PM

Okay, so we've got our our kitty in the garage. We cleared out most everything she can hide behind. I bought some warmer blankets for her bed and she has been laying in there all day. It is so cold outside. Our garage isn't the warmest, but outside, it is like 3 degrees. I'm so happy we've got her inside and she doesn't have to be wild out there in the frigid cold and howling wind.
Matt and I got her a little eco-friendly space heater. It heats for 4 hours and turns itself off. It doesn't get too hot and it has a kick off safety switch. I just want kitty to be okay. Matt and I spent about 2 hours bundled up outside in the garage with her today. We sat in a blanket away from her. At first, she couldn't keep her eyes off of us. She hunkered down in her bed and looked scared. After about an hour, she didn't decide to check us out or anything, but we consider it a major step that she started looking at her food and closed her eyes, not paying attention to us.
I read outloud in the garage. I just want her to get used to my voice. I figure reading out loud is good for the kitty and the boys, who have been moving and kicking like mad lately. The boys are the best. They just moved around like crazy all weekend. The whole family got to put their hands on my belly and feel them move around at least once.
Anyway, my cat has me a little curious. The garage has no windows, so the cat is completely confined. We still have her under 10 day observation, but I think she will be fine and not have rabies. She acts like a lucid animal. My big question is, to make her comfortable, should I leave the light on in the garage at all times for her, or should I give her darkness at night. I don't want her getting irritable because it never gets dark, but I also don't want her to think that when I come in the garage and flip the light on in the morning, that light is her signal to run and hide from us. Do I need to give her more light variation?

Watching Matt Sleep (PIP)
Posted Monday, December 22, 2008 8:27 AM
So yesterday, Matt and I had our time with our cat, but we also woke up early and went to breakfast, church and my sister's church play. By about 2, we were home and Matt was really beat. He went to go take a nap and I played on Facebook. About and hour later, I walked in the bedroom and saw him sleeping in a rather funny way. Well, after about another hour, I went and got my camera. I thought this was funny.

YAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!! Chirstmas!
Posted Thursday, December 25, 2008 9:42 AM

I've already had an awesome Christmas. Matt and I stayed the night at my parent's house. They drank cocoa spiked with Sgt Peppermint last night and I was so bummed that I couldn't have one. Instead of watching another Christmas movie last night after "It's a wonderful life" We watched Jurassic Park. It was fun. Oh, but earlier on Christmas Eve, we all went and watched 4 Christmases, then we had dinner at PF Changs. Before we came over to my parents house that night, Matt and I went home, took showers, had some Christmas sweet time together, and gave Winks, our cat, a can of Tuna for Christmas. I can sit right next to her now without her freaking out. It is progress.
This morning, my sister woke me up at 6. She always wakes me up to go get my parents before she goes in the living room. Just our way of making sure that Santa came before she finds out :). Matt and I got a Sony Blu Ray player. We got 2 bar stools. I got some tan colored Uggs and they are so cute!!!!! I got a couple future Mandy sweaters, a tennis bracelet. Matt got me a car charger for my iPod, and sooo many movies. I also got this really cool leather purse. Matt got a bunch of sweaters, and I got him Guitar Hero World Tour. He is already playing it. And Matt's big gift to me was a really nice camera. It is such a nice camera, that I have no idea how to even take a picture on it. He also scheduled us to take a class on how to work it (which is very good).
Also, we got a bunch of bibs, little boy cardigans, and little rattles. It is too adorable. Also, my parents figured out what they want to be called because all the gifts were to Ethan and James, from Grammy and PopPop!
Oh, we also got a new set of dishes, a grandfather clock, and a turkey roaster. There is one more Christmas celebration left, then TIME TO EAT!!!!!!!

No Big Kicks
Posted Monday, December 29, 2008 11:10 AM

I haven't had a big kick since 2 days ago. I feel them in there every now and then, but those big kicks are exciting and they really get me thinking about the future.
I feel like I have been a total slacker lately. I haven't posted much on my blog, and went 2 weeks without checking my email. I don't have the boys room to a place I want it and I was not cleaning like my usual OCD self. On Saturday, I planned it to be my kick it into gear day. I then spent the day throwing up. In one particular incident, I was getting up out of the floor of my bathroom in front of the toilet and blowing my nose at the same time. I passed right out and took a nice unconscious nap in the bathroom floor.
Anyway, last night, I vowed to myself that I will be better. I need to get back on the horse, so to speak. Yesterday, I cleaned the house, went grocery shopping, Finished my registries, got the paint swatches for the walls in the boys room. I priced out how much paneling I will need for the lower walls in the nursery. I bought stuff to do my arts and crafts projects for the boys. I had decided to give the boys a completely unique nursery so I can't even give you ideas of the room. It is all in mine and Matt's heads. I hope that when we splash it on the walls, that it turns out to be the same vision and a good one at that.
I'm getting close to 29 weeks. It just seems crazy to have almost made it to 30. Matt was saying last night that I could go at 36 weeks and they would be fine. That sounds positively crazy to me and I'm really hoping I go longer. I want to make it to 39. And believe me, there is a reason. Matt and I inadvertantly timed these babies out (hopefully) perfect. You see, his Grandfather and him share the same birthday, March 14th, the babies are due on the 20th. It would be so cool to have 3 different generations celebrating each other, even if they aren't consecutive generations. Also, I am in a wedding on March 28th, cutting it close. So I need my 2 weeks, from March 14th to the 28th to heal and stand up for my best friend (Don't worry, we have a backup plan if I just can't do it). But at the same time, I cannot have these babies too early because of stuff with my job. Their might be some mandatory 7 day a week, 12 hour days coming up in April and that could last for lord knows how long. If I could get to the 14th, I'll have a buffer of not having to work those weeks for maybe 3 or 4 of them since I get my 6 weeks off regardless of what work is doing. By then, it might be over and I wouldn't have to worry about finding time for picking up the babies from my Mom's house, finding time to be with the boys and being able to breastfeed and pump for them. So you see, the 14th is when I really need to give birth, I pray to God I can do it. I have confidence in this body, but my Lord, the pressure is on.
I love that lately, my boys had been playing a game with me. They would give me a kick and I'd give them a tap, then they'd give me another kick, and so on and so on. Now, all the little things I feel are low, and when we are in public I'm not tapping myself there. Haha! Plus, I guess they are starting to run out of room. I read that the big movements will decrease because they don't have the space to get leverage. It makes me so sad because it feels like this just started and it was so nice to lay in bed with Matt's hand on my belly and play our game as a family.
I was telling Matt, I can't wait to have them here. I could go back to having a more normal body. I just want to take care of my boys and I think the thing I am most excited about lately, is thinking 'what funny little things will our boys first love to say.' I know when I was a baby, I would waddle around saying bookaba, booka-booka-bookaba. My sister would say boingo-boingo-boingo. I just can't wait until I get to see and hear the cute things that I know I will always remember. I hope this is a house full of giggles from 2 happy babies in this coming year.
If I don't get to write another blog before New Year's Eve, my resolution will be to get down to the weight I was at my wedding after the babies are born, and to be the greatest Mommy I can be to my little guys, and still be a good wife to Matt.
Oh, and something I remember from Edmo's blog before Boli got hear, I remember that she said that she watched Jersey Girl and it is probably a bad movie for pregnant women to watch. Add to that list, the British film, Jack and Sarah, Matt and I cried our eyes out the other day thinking about how I could very well die from all this. It is just too sad to think about at times.

The Big 2-8-0
Posted Monday, December 29, 2008 1:05 PM

So this is going to sound dumb to most of you because hey, it sounds dumb to me, but Matt is freaking the heck out about his weight. Last night, we were lying in bed together in minimal attire. You would think it would be a much more humbling experience for me, being bigger than ever before and covered in stretch marks, but Matt is the one with body image issues.
We went out to eat on the 23rd this month to a restaurant where an old friend works. We hadn't seen him in months after him and his girlfriend split. We said Hi, and even though we didn't choose sides in the breakup between him and his girlfriend, Matt works with his ex and we just see her more often, so it was awkward. We don't talk about him for days, but last night, Matt said, his ex had a date that she was talking about on Friday. I said, good for her. He said, "You know what bothered me? She said, "It was nice to go out, have fun, and not have that 280 lb tumor attached at my hip."" I said, "Okay, well that is good, she's getting over him." He said, "You don't see my point, he weighs 280 lbs. That is so unhealthy." I said "yeah", he said, "I'm not far off"
I was like, babe, you weigh 215, you are taller than him and a lot more muscular. He was like, it is just too close. I was like, "He weighs 65 freakin lbs more than you. That isn't close!" He then turned over and said, "You just don't get it." I said something along the lines of, Baby, if you want to lose some weight, that is fine, but I don't think you are in nearly as bad of health as he is. I love you and I think you are sexy.

I guess this is a resolution thing. He is almost a father and he wants to make sure that he is in good shape. He wants to be an athlete for the boys to look up to, and he doesn't realize he already is. I hope he doesn't stay down on himself too long, the more he talks about his body, the more I analyze mine, and I'd prefer not to look too much until a few weeks after the boys arrive.

Winks
Posted Tuesday, December 30, 2008 6:09 AM

I'm so scared for my kitty right now. Matt and I had her appointment to take her in the vet today. We still have the appointment, but the reason has changed. She has a hurt front paw and we didn't even know it. She would never get up and walk around us and all instructions told us not to push her too much when it comes to petting her so we never got close enough to her to notice that it looks like she broke her leg quite awhile ago and it has healed poorly. I'm so afraid at what they might suggest and the cost of it.
Matt and I are sad, but Matt keeps saying, if they suggest an expensive surgery, I just don't know if we can justify milking our savings when we have the boys due in 2 months. I know that is the smart way to look at it, but I just don't want to give up on her. I did some research and saw costs of surgery in all sorts of places. It varies a lot. I am prepared to hear anything when we go in. I wouldn't mind if they suggested amputation. I have seen plenty of pictures of 3 legged cats and everyone says when they get it done young, that they don't even notice the leg is gone. Plus, she doesn't use the leg at all anyway, I just don't want the poor kitty in pain from it.
I'm just so terrified that the vet is going to suggest a costly surgery that Matt and I can't afford to spend on the cat when we have a ton going on.

Goodish News
Posted Tuesday, December 30, 2008 8:38 AM

Okay, no breaks in the leg, but the appt wasn't pretty. The reason her leg looked all deformed was because she was bitten in a couple places on that leg by another animal. It was infected and she had giant puss-filled pockets. They drained them at the appointment. Ick, it made me sick to watch. I just have to give her an antibiotic 2 times a day for a week and she should be good as new.
Also, since we weren't positive she was a boy or girl since she hadn't let us get too close without curling into a ball, the vet ended up bringing her out of the room to draw blood, but brought her back in holding her like a baby and told us, "It's a girl!" I was so happy. We thought she was a girl because she's all Calico colors, but we weren't positive. Now we know. She is my first girl kitty.
Also, the cost of the appointment today which was $40, was taken out of her kitten care package. And because we rescued her, they knocked off 20% of the kitten package. So all in all, the total care was only $107 dollars, plus 20 bucks for the antibiotic. That means that in one week, we go back in for the rest of her shots and we owe nothing, then a month later, we go in again to get her boosters, and the only thing we'll pay for then is to get her spay, which is only $77 dollars.
I was so afraid that she was going to need major surgery from the looks of the leg last night. I'm so glad that those looks were deceiving. Winks will no longer have a gimpy leg and she won't need to be a tripod. I'm thinking the poor kitty deserves a can of tuna today. I'm glad her care was cheap.

2 BOYS!

And the Babies Are.......................................
Posted Thursday, October 30, 2008 10:52 AM

Gotta Brag
Posted Thursday, October 30, 2008 11:26 AM

So I just think that my little guys are the cutest things I've ever seen in my whole life.
They were amazing and active, at least part of the time, Baby B decided he had, had enough play and hid behind his brother right after we got the in between the legs shot.
These little ones seem to be pictures of health. We didn't get all the organ pictures because they were laying right next to each other. They cuddle even though they have room. I am in love with them. They both started out just waving to me and kicking their little legs. I even felt Baby A once who did a complete somersault while we watched.
Baby A is growing in the 44th percentile. Baby B is in the 50th percentile. Both 11 ounces. Baby A's heartrate 158, Baby B was 152.
The possible names are Ethan, Daniel, James, and Johnathan (with an H in it).
Update with pictures later!

My Favorite Boy's Name
Posted Friday, October 31, 2008 7:05 AM

My favorite boys name is one I've been keeping to myself because I don't want Matt to just automatically veto it. I am a huge fan of the name and I love the nickname I came up with as well. I am afraid that Matt will hate it.
I came up with the name because it is one of my favorite characters from one of my all-time favorite shows, Coupling (BBC version of course).
I want to name my son Patrick. I want to call him Patrick too for the most part, but for a nickname, I don't like Pat ot Patty. I love the nickname Trick. I think it is traditional in one sense, but then Trick is very fun. I love the name and because Matt and I were both born little blondies, Matt completely platinum and me with golden curls, I can envision this little boy with white blonde hair wearing little blue jeans and a striped button up shirt with a navy blue sweater vest over it. And I can see his name is Patrick and I love him more than anything in the world. That is a stupid vision I know. I just think about how much I want one son to be named Patrick.
Matt hates every boy name I pick. I just don't want him to hate Patrick too. Plus it sounds so good with the middle names we have picked out, either Patrick Ray Thomas E-worth or Patrick Samuel E-worth.
Oh, and Happy Halloween everyone!

Espionage, Chicken, Stretch Marks, Registry, Harry Potter, and Stationary Bicycles
Posted Monday, November 03, 2008 7:53 AM

Espionage: I do believe we named the boys. I am keeping my fingers crossed that Matt will stick with it since these are the names he picked and told me he wanted. Ethan and James. I know a lot of you picked these as your favorites. He completely vetoed Patrick. It would be James after James Bond. I think Matt and I both might have a crush on Daniel Craig. Have you seen how gorgeous his eyes are? By far the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. So we will have our little 007. Then Ethan would be after Ethan Hunt from the Mission Impossible film series. I like the 1st and 3rd movies. I'm totally cool with it.
Chicken: I ate some, I ate some! It didn't make me sick. I am going to make chicken tonight. Please let the aversion to poultry be over!!!
Stretch Marks: I've got one on my tummy. the right side. My first stretch mark at 20 weeks, not a good indicator of things to come. I thought it was a bruise at first, then I felt it and it had a slight dent feel to it. I guess I will have to donate my 10 or 15 bikini swimsuits that still fit before this pregnancy. I admit, I cried about this last night and Matt had to hold me and tell me constantly for about 20 minutes, how beautiful I am. I swear though, no matter how many times he tells me that I am the most beautiful woman in the world and he says that he thinks that my belly, with or without stretch marks is the most amazing and gorgeous thing he's ever gotten to see, I still feel fat and scarred. I know that having these boys will make it worth it, but Matt told me, "This is the sacrifice you are making to be our little boys' baby house for awhile." I think I'm lucky to have someone who loves me no matter what. I just wish that the body could bounce back entirely.
I told Matt that I know he is against any kind of touchup surgery, but I begged him, if we have the money and I am really unhappy, to please let me get laser resurfacing on the scars and a tummy tuck. He told me he doesn't ever want that. I told him, if it meant that I was happy, could I? He said it would be a bridge we'd cross if we ever get there. I think that means no, but I would do it if I felt like an ugly whale after my boys get here.
Registry: We kinda registered at Babies R Us yesterday. It is so confusing. There is so much stuff! I just don't know what all to put down. Afterwhile, Matt and I started registering for everything we saw and said we'd get rid of it if it seemed stupid once we got home and could really look at lists. We haven't done this yet. However, BRU has thee cutest baby clothes. Matt and I took a break from registering to drool over little outfits. All the Christmas outfits were out and we couldn't help but pick up all the Santa costumes and there was this blazer and matching hat combo that made Matt and I almost squeal! It was just sooo darn cute!!! I can't wait to take the boys to get their pictures taken. I am going to lay down a fortune at portrait studios. I just have to, can't wait.
Also Matt and I almost cried at the idea of possibly needing to buy premie diapers since the twins growth usually slows down sooner that singleton babies. I just don't want to have babies that are so small that it could be bad for them. I just want them big strong and healthy. I'm praying for our little guys to be newborn size.
Harry Potter: Matt read the first chapter of the Sorcerer's Stone to the boys last night. He read to them in such cute voices. It was great. He told me he hopes to finish reading the series to them while they are really little. Then when they are older, we can read it to them again. But I told Matt that before that, I want to read them Tom Sawyer and Robinson Crusoe. Those kind of books were what I loved as a little girl, when my Dad would read them to me before bed. I am definitely reading them to my boys.
Stationary Bike: I ordered Stationary Bike pedals to put under my desk at work. I need to exercise more. I have been slacking and I want to get in some workouts. Bike pedals at work and more light weights and walking at home. I have been so lazy, but I need to stop making excuses for myself. I'm not that sick anymore.
PS: One last thing which is kinda cool. Both my little boys are head-down and competing for the first born spot. This is a really good thing. Lets cross our fingers and hope they stay that way and abdominal surgery will me a mute point!

Cook A What?
Posted Monday, November 03, 2008 3:05 PM

Matt's parents are coming up for Thanksgiving and we are celebrating Christmas. I bought them part of their Christmas gift, a double set of apple wreath and balsom pine Christmas candles from yankee candle. They smell great. The other part of their gift will be an ornament like always. I started getting them one when I started dating Matt 8 years ago. I get them the cool personalized ornaments with the whole family's names on it. This year, I am going to have all the names on it, but on my character, we are going to write in the babies names on my tummy. so I think we might get snowmen characters this year so it will "POP" against the white. It will be cute. Matt's Mom expecially loves them.
On Thanksgiving, I am making my first big meal. My Mom is coming over early to help me get things prepared, then she is going to my Grandparent's house for dinner, and leaving early to come back and help me some more. We will have dinner later in the day. But I was telling Matt that since it will be 7 people tops, I don't want to make too much food. I said I'm making turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, corn, rolls and cranberry sauce. Then I'd make a pumkin pie and an apple pie.
He seemed very disappointed. He asked why we couldn't make the full dinner? He wants me to add on the homemade mac n cheese, greenbean casserole, a ham, and broccoli and cheese casserole. He also wants a pecan pie and a cherry pie. I was like, "Babe, there are going to be enough leftovers as it is." He said he really wants to have his parents experience a real Christmas with us. I said that I could probably pull it off. But then he asked me when I would be making all the cookies? I was like, "Excuse me?" I didn't even think he'd want the cookies this early. I go to a cookie party in December every year and walk away with tons and tons of cookies. He wants me to make all the cookies, then turn around and make them again a few weeks later?
I said I could make some frozen cookie dough for chocolate chip leftover from last year. He was not excited. I asked him just what he wanted me to make. He said he wants all of them, Chocolate chip with and without nuts, gooey butter cookies, peanut butter, oatmeal raisins, macroons, chocolate dipped pretzels and peanuts, monster cookies, peanutbutter kiss cookies, and Russian Tea Cakes. He wants everything. I told him there is no way I'm able to get that done along with us decorating the house early, getting the yard growing and with him being in crunch time at work and school along with helping with the indoor decorating.
This is the first time he gets to have Christmas or Thanksgiving with his family in 4 years and he is so excited. He finally isn't working retail and he wants to really impress them. I just wish it didn't involve so much baking. I might take a day off work closer to Thanksgiving to bake the cookies. I might take off on my birthday to do it. I like sitting at home watching smutty TV. It would be Happy Birthday to me!

Election Day!
Posted Tuesday, November 04, 2008 7:27 AM

From my previous posts and anyone who has access to my Facebook, it is easy to see that I'm an Obama Mama, but this post is about something election-related that will make everyone happy!
AFTER TODAY, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, THE ADVERTISEMENTS ARE OVER!
I am so thrilled. I love Politics, but come November, it is nice when Political Ads give way to Holiday Commercials! I know that with the leaving of the attack ads, come the advertisements for all the Christmas light shows and the Nutcracker Ballet. I can't wait until I am done seeing McCain and Obama and can see a Clydesdale Drawn Carriage in the snow. Clydesdales make me cry. I guess it is a St. Louis pride kind of thing (Darn you InBev). They are just beautiful animals. Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest. That being said, I have one thing kinda political to bring up. I watched the SNL Presidential Election Bash last night. Now, I think some things the candidates have done on the show have been funny in the past, but Sarah Palin didn't come across funny at all last night. I would have loved to have seen a recorded message from Obama, but I know with his Grandmother being ill/passed and still needing to campaign, SNL can always wait, but McCain/Tina Fey were funny last Saturday. Palin was not too funny the Saturday she was on and last night. It was almost painful to watch.
I really hate that. I love when the politicians come on, whether I vote for them or not, and can make me laugh. But McCain is much funnier than Palin. That bugs me when a Politician can't drop the guard for a sec to seem human.

Yay! Hooray! Woohoo! Hahahaha!
Posted Wednesday, November 05, 2008 7:24 AM

To any Democrat that has been subjected to listening to 8 years of hearing why people voted for Bush, this term is for you!
I loved the election coverage last night. I watched it and had I not gotten extremely bad morning sickness from the time Obama was forcasted with 175 and McCain with 76 electoral votes, I'd have been doing cartwheels!
I wouldn't feel quite the way I do if it hadn't been for a carpooler of mine. He is so arrogant. He would bring up Politics in the car and insult Obama, and all the local Democrats. He knew 2 of us are Democrat, but he doesn't care. He doesn't want to engage in debate without name calling. He just wants to bash the Democratic candidate because his church said Obama was the antichrist and that he was a Muslim. What morons! Even his candidate John McCain told his fellow Republicans that Obama was not a Muslim, but people refuse to listen. They believe what makes them feel best about their own candidate.
Anyway, last night during McCains speech, my Mom called and was like, "You are not going to believe what the carpooler is doing." He went out into his yard and was stomping around and he pulled up his McCain sign and started throwing it around the front yard. I was like, are you serious? She said, "He is having one huge hissy-fit!"
When we got in the car this morning, he wouldn't say a word. I got in and said "Good Morning." He wouldn't say a thing back to me. It made me want to laugh. Seriously, I was scared for my life when Bush was elected the second time and I was pissed that one time Al Gore won the election and they gave it to Bush anyway, but I didn't push myself into a tizzy. Some people can't handle an election. It just becomes too much for them.
Anyway, I will say that in the last few weeks of the campaign, McCain really gained a lot of respect from me. I think he is a good man, I just don't agree with his politics. I think it would have been a lot closer if he hadn't choose Sarah Palin as a running mate. I feel like she really sank him. His age was a liability, and Palin was a death sentence to his campaign. I think McCain really went wrong with not being himself from the beginning of the Presidential race. He was by far my favorite of the Republican candidates to begin with because I felt so sorry for him after what Bush did to him in the Primaries while they were both running. He was accused of having a black daughter from an extra-marital affair, when in fact, he had an adopted daughter who was dark-skinned. Bush's campaign spread that rumor and it killed his chances of being the Presidential Candidate back then. I have the utmost respect for people who served their country in the military and I think it showed amazing character to stand up for John Kerry when Bush attacked his military record which lets you know that I really think Bush and his campaigners were one big heaping pile of crap.
Anyway, back to McCain, I have so much respect for him and I hope he goes on to have many more years in the Arizona Senate were he has done good work. This however does not make me the kind of person that would vote for him. I'm liberal (obviously) and I think Obama was the right person for this job and I am so happy to live in this country today.
Last night was History and every American should be proud that we made this kind of progress. I never thought I would see the first Black President of the United States, and I am seeing it as a young woman and I'm astonished by the magnitude of what happened. It is amazing and I love that I voted in this election and I voted for change and progress. America is better than I thought it was. I had my doubts about Obama. Never doubting his ability, but wondering if racism would crush his chances. I am so happy to know that the majority of this country was not affected by race, they were captured by his intelligence and his promises of a better tomorrow. As long as he keeps his promises, I would be proud to have him in the office for 8 years and will gladly do my part to contribute in the next 4 years!
Yay Obama! Yay America! Democrat or Republican, last night, our country looked past race and proved to the world that we are a melting pot and we are changing! A country that changes can grow. America is truly a great place and I hope it can be so much better.
Thank you so much for voting, whoever you voted for and whatever your reasons were! And Thank You Velda City in MO for standing in line for up to 7 hours to cast a vote! Dedication is key to succeeding!

That Was A Bit Scary
Posted Wednesday, November 05, 2008 10:33 AM

I got on the elevator in my building to go downstairs to get breakfast. There are 6 elevators for the 2nd 15 floors where I am located. I got on the elevator and there is one girl already on it. We are both going to the Lobby. When the doors open, we look out at about 15 people staring confused back at us over the trashcans that have been placed in front of the door and the caution tape blocking the doors. We all just kinda looked back and forth. I looked at the girl in the elevator with me and said, "Well I guess we got the broken one."
We got off the elevator once a couple gentlemen moved the trashcans and pulled back some of the tape, the doors shut behind us and there was a sign on the outer doors that said Caution: Elevator Out Of Order While Under Repairs. So they forgot to shut the elevator down for all the rest of the floors. That was a bit scary.

No Motivaton
Posted Wednesday, November 05, 2008 7:02 PM

When Matt is at school in the evenings, I plan all this work to get done. So I planned mopping the kitchen floor, putting new sheets in the spare bedroom, vacuuming, doing the dishes. I was going to go grocery shopping because it is my pay day. Then I was going to take a nice long luke-warm bath (if I wasn't pregnant, it would say scalding hot).
However, I got home, swept and mopped the kitchen, did dishes, pulled the vacuum out of the laundry room closet, set it in the living room. Grabbed the sheets, tossed them in a ball on the guest room bed, sat at the computer and slacked off for an hour and a half. Now I have only 2 hours to get things done before Matt gets home and he had a tough day at work and I was going to have dinner made for him.
I need to not blog so much and start really nesting :)

Boring
Posted Thursday, November 06, 2008 10:31 AM

So my BIL and his new girlfriend get in town tonight. I told Matt last night, "I hope I'm skinnier than her." This isn't something I'd usually say, but with a baby belly sticking way out in front of me, I thought it would be funny. Matt told me, "I don't think she's knocked up." I said, "You never know." Hahaha!!!
Anyway, Matt was sick last night. He came home a little early from school. So on top of a bad day at work, the poor dear is hacking his head off, has a runny nose, a fever, body aches, sore throat and I just wish I could do something for him. But I think it is sweet that he is far more concerned with me. If I walk anywhere near him, he pulls his shirt over his face and says, "don't let me breathe on you."
It makes me sad. I haven't had a night without at least one of Matt's kisses in a long time. Plus, whenever he is sick, I normally get him medicine, cook him chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches with orange juice. Then I lay in bed with him to rub his head while we watch tv. I made him dinner and got his meds, but I couldn't give him any comfort. He said he doesn't want me to get sick because he knows that if I do get sick, that it will take such a long time for me to get over it.
By the end of the night, his fever was gone and he said his throat was feeling better. I hope he is feeling much better today, I don't want any more nights without hugs and kisses. Plus, I've gotten used to him rubbing my belly and talking to our boys, who have officially been named Ethan Samuel and James Ray Thomas. Also, with company coming, it would be a real shame if Matt didn't get to enjoy his visit with his brother.
Matt just started reading to Ethan and James every night, I don't want to get out of the habit. It feels so sweet when we can lay there as a family while Matt tells them a story. It makes me wonder if after I have the babies, will I miss the way it is now? I know there are worlds of new and wonderful things that happen when the babies arrive, but I really like the way it is. Matt and I are so in love with our sons and they are safe and healthy in my belly.
Everything is going so good. I'm really scared that something could go wrong. If I didn't have my boys, I don't know what I'd do. My world revolves around Matt and these 2 little babies I haven't even met.

Oops!
Posted Friday, November 07, 2008 7:42 AM

So last night BIL and his girlfriend got to town. She looks exactly like this girl that used to be so hot for Matt in Omaha. I swear. One time when I went up to Omaha to visit Matt for his Birthday, I dropped in to his work to see him and this girl got territorial. She invited us out even though we always told her, "No thank you". She would giggle and make tons of jokes to him and was doing a lot of overtly flirty things, but he didn't reciprocate and she really was not his type.
She was a big book-nerd, not very fun. She dressed frumpy and she was a bit heavier than Matt's taste. But I will not say she was unattractive. Very cute girl actually. Matt could have cared less. I felt kinda bad for her. Anyway, enough about her, just that his brother's new girlfriend looks exactly like her, just about 20 lbs lighter. Same haircut/color, same glasses, same height. Heck, even her style of clothes seemed similar. When they got to the house and she introduced herself, I thought to myself, "No freakin way!" These girls have to be related somehow, it almost seems impossible to not be related when two people look that much alike. I wasn't going to say anything until I talked to Matt.
BIL's girlfriend was really nice. The only thing is, I think she was somewhat in a shell the whole night. She went to the ladies room at the restaurant and BIL said that she was so extremely nervous to meet us. She doesn't need to be, if anything, when meeting new people, Matt and I like to be as accomodating as possible and we are pretty easy going as long as you don't wear shoes on the carpet or spill anything.
In bed last night, I said to Matt, "She seems really sweet." Matt said "Yeah, but did you notice..." I finished his sentence, "That she could be Kerry's freakin twin?" He said, "When she got out of the car, I really thought it was her." I told Matt that when she walked in the house, my gut reaction was to say, "What are you doing here?" So we are going to ask if they are related. It is just too weird.
Anyway, on to the oops. Last night, Matt set his car keys in my purse and guess who has both sets of keys this morning? That's right, I do. Matt called me asking if I knew where they were. I checked my purse and said, "Oh no." Matt hopes his brother will drop him at work today and I will go pick him up after I get off here. I'm in a carpool and can't go drop his keys off. This is bad. We've been meaning to make spares. This may be the thing that finally drives us to do it. Poor guy has to work late on a Friday now. He even bragged last night about how he was on target to get finished with all his work early.

Braxton Hicks and Pregnancy Pleasantries
Posted Monday, November 10, 2008 11:52 AM

These are really killing me, they come and go. I had them last night and they were murder. It made me so uncomfortable. Then today after I got to work I start getting them again. I can practically see my belly contract. I hate, hate, hate this. Please babies, stop kicking Momma and let her uterus just relax!
Matt is really freaking out about them. He hears the word contraction and immediately thinks I'm in labor. I keep telling him, don't worry, it is normal. We just have to make sure they don't become real contractions. But he thinks at this point, the babies are not yet viable and I have to not give birth for at least another 4 weeks in order for the hospital to make a good effort to save the boys. My feeling is that this pregnancy is far from over and Braxton Hicks is just plain annoying.
Also, another beautiful side-effect from pregnancy that I've been getting is terrible, horrible, crippling leg cramps. Last night I had to get up to use the restroom (1 or 6 times) and I had to crawl because my left leg hurt so badly. Sometimes I am just a mess.
Oh and I am so glad I had that lull in the morning sickness because I can look back on it and say, there was a time when my boys really took it easy on me. Because it is about noon and I've already thrown up 3 times today, I can't really claim that the boys have made it easy today.
The one thing I am happy that they did this weekend was play with their Daddy on Saturday. Matt and I were laying on the couch while we had the place to ourselves. Matt was laying in between my legs and was kissing my tummy. And as he is kissing me, my belly moved. Ethan or James kicked Matt in the mouth. Matt jumped like he heard a gunshot and said, "Oh my God, did you feel that?" I was like, heck yeah. He then would tap a couple times on my tummy and the babies would kick back at him.
We went and got IHOP for dinner that night because stuffed french toast with strawberries is one of Matt's favorites and breakfast food for dinner sounded awesome.

My trip to the hospital
Posted Monday, November 10, 2008 10:34 PM

I was planning on posting a happy blog with lots of pictures, instead I post a blog where I tell you all I've been in the hospital on IVs for 3 hours. I have some kind of virus. I should be feeling better tomorrow. The plan is to take it easy for a couple days. Unless I get the wireless internet working tomorrow, I will not be updating for awhile. Don't worry about me though, I'm fine, just had some contractions and I was dehydrated. I also was having some pretty bad stomach pains, but Ethan and James are super kids and they are strong and healthy and staying put inside their Mamma's belly, no doubt about it. That is all that matters. I don't need prayers or worry. I have everything I could ever ask for. I'll talk to you all later.

Couldn't Stay Asleep, So... BELLY PICS!
Posted Tuesday, November 11, 2008 1:09 PM

Ok, I had a blast at the Botanical Garden with Matt on Sunday and we took some nice pictures. I just thought I'd share some.
21w2d Belly Pictures!



Another one!


Worst Possible
Posted Friday, November 14, 2008 7:11 AM

I feel the worst I've felt since being pregnant. I throw up about 3 or 4 times a day and each of those times is more miserable and gut wrenching than in the beginning when morning sickness started.
I finally feel like I have run out of all the energy that once inhabited my body. I am just a shell for these babies to grow and thrive in. I don't know how they are thriving. I can't eat anything except for super-sour candy and the occasional piece of plain white bread. Anything else makes me throw up instantly. I can't eat a vegetable, much less, a prenatal vitamin. I think about all the things I've thrown up recently. Lets take last night for example when I started to feel good and decided to try plain spaghetti. Throwing up is miserable enough, but when you blow your nose afterwards and an entire noodle comes out of your nostril, you really do want someone to just knock you in the back of the head and wake you up after delivery.
I made it to work today and it was hard. So many times I felt like throwing up. I got those feelings where I knew things were coming up, but I just couldn't throw up in the car and it is so terribly embarrassing to ask my carpoolers to keep pulling over. I told my carpooler today, even though it is 40 degrees outside, I need you to turn on your air conditioner. For some reason, super-cold air can stop me from throwing up. It is a temporary fix to get me through gridlock. I hate people who get in car accidents and won't pull their cars over to the shoulder.
I'm just miserable. I get winded wherever I go. I don't have the energy to stand up. Matt has to help me off the couch now or else I just tucker myself out. I'm so darn tired and I can't find a comfortable way to sleep. My belly is so heavy that if I lay on either side, it feels as thought it is ripping away from my body and if I lay on my back, I will suffocate. I wish I could go to the hospital and ask for my epidural now. I just want drugs. Lots and lots and lots of drugs. I don't care if they come out stoned. It will pass. I just feel like I can't freaking do this. I don't want anymore hospital visits or IVs. Those moments when I actually do fall asleep, I dream of being thin again. I dream of my boys, but I am thin and long past having given birth to them.
I want to sleep and eat, and walk, and bend over, and stand up, and take a bath, and wake up and get dressed, and groom myself, and talk to my friends, and see my feet like a normal darn person!

Feeling Good Now
Posted Saturday, November 15, 2008 9:52 PM

Yesterday and really all this past week was miserable. I couldn't stand living the way I was. I was just so tired. I yelled at Matt. The poor guy got yelled at big time. In all honesty, I was just so jealous because he was happy about the babies, feeling good and enjoying life. I couldn't function normally because I couldn't get past my headache and upset stomach.
Matt and I decided to put up the decorations inside the house this Saturday. Then his friend Nick called and they made plans to play guitars together. Then they wanted to play Gears of War 2. So Matt wanted to put up the tree on Friday night. I had to go pick up the baby cribs. So I went to bed with no tree, and Matt stayed up. Later, I woke up sick. Matt came in the bathroom and held my hair. He was so sweet to me. He rubbed my head until I fell back asleep.
When I woke up for real this morning, we got the trees up. I went shopping at the mall and got some cute maternity clothes for the Christmas season. I also bought personalized ornaments for the year. It just felt good. Also, I picked up cheese fries at Outback for lunch and I shared it with Matt when I got home. Then Nick got here and I am sitting here typing this blog while I watch him and Matt play Gears. I'm having a really good day and I just don't want to get sick again. I'm hoping this is the end of the extreme illness. Fingers crossed!

Ready or Not...
Posted Monday, November 17, 2008 7:09 AM

I don't know if I'm up to this week, but I just have to grunt through it. Tonight is the Metallica concert that I bought tickets for to satisfy a dream of my husband's. Other than 2 songs, I'm not a huge fan. I guess I thought they were over-rated. That is just me. I wish Matt's dream would have been to see Rage Against the Machine or Stone Temple Pilots. He probably wouldn't mind seeing those 2 bands play, but they just don't hold the same kind of weight that Metallica does. You see, my husband used to have long stringy hair and spent adolecence getting the crap knocked out of him while headbanging in the 90's. I'm kinda glad I didn't know him back then. He is too. In fact, I never saw a picture of my husband before he was a high school freshman until about 2 months before our wedding.
Anyway, I drive carpool for work this week, so I drove from our suburban home to downtown, will drive back to the suburbs, find Matt's Metallica t-shirt that I packed away in a rubbermaid downstairs, then drive back downtown. Too much back and forth, but for Matt, I'll do it this one time :).
Tomorrow I have some cleaning to do. I didn't feel my best last night because my cousin had cake and ice cream for her 23rd birthday and the icing on that cake was so thick, I spent half the night regretting that I had my one piece. Needless to say, my chores didn't get done. I wish we could put up the baby cribs tomorrow, but Matt will probably be too busy.
Wednesday is my 25th birthday. I will be going out with my parents for dinner. It will be nice. I always give my parents my actual birthday day. Matt has school. So I will probably be home and asleep before he gets there. On the super-bright side, I love spending time with my parents and I get my Maternity coat, which means I will give Matt back his Northface coat. The guy has had to wear his thick suede coat every day because I refuse to wear anything but his favorite and lets face it, none of my coats fit around my belly.
Friday I have an ultrasound scheduled. I'm so happy to see the boys again. I miss their little hands and legs just waving around. I love feeling them, but nothing beats out seeing them wiggle. Friday night I need to go buy my turkey and everything I need for my meal on Thanksgiving. Then on Saturday I have to scrub all the bathrooms down, vacuum, dust, buy a card table to set up for extra seating, then I have to make and bake all the cookies. This leaves me hoping that at least on Sunday, Matt will be able to help me put the cribs together.
This was not the week I had really wanted after being so sick and having been admitted to the hospital exactly a week ago, but I will get by. November is always so busy. I can't wait until Thanksgiving at 7 o'clock. By 7 that evening, I will have served dinner and the only thing to do will be dishes and preparing for my favorite holiday of the year, BLACK FRIDAY!



Babies' First Rock n Roll Show
Posted Tuesday, November 18, 2008 6:58 AM

Yesterday Matt and I went to a rock show. It was fun. We missed the first band, not sure who they even were. The second band I knew because they are a super-group. All the members of the band Down were once in another band. I really only know of the band that the lead singer was in. That was Pantera. I never liked the lead singer. I found him to be highly over-rated, but don't get me wrong. I do enjoy quite a few Pantera songs. This band is nowhere near as good as Pantera, if the were, they wouldn't be an opening act. I swear, even though it made sense for this guy to dedicate a song to the late guitarist of Pantera, I am so sick of every concert I go to, the lead singer has to dedicate a song to Dimebag. He was an amazing guitarist. It was wrong that he was murdered, but I really think bands need to get over it. I was dissapointed though. Most bands like to do their own version of Pantera's Walk, but I still haven't gotten to hear it by the actual freakin singer. Oh, and I don't like the singer because he is a huge racist.
Anyway, Metallica finally took the stage and put on a good performance. It was very loud. I could feel the vibrations through the stadium and we had very, very good seats. I started feeling low kicks to my bladder during the concert and I was afraid that maybe the noise was scaring the babies. I sat down for about half their show and held my jacket over my belly. I know it seems silly, but I wanted to muffle the noise as much as possible. Metallica knows showmanship. They have one heck of a setup. Their timing is amazing, they can get a crowd moving without saying the F-word over and over, which I appreciated. I am the conservative Metal Show follower. The lasers and the flame throwers were really cool to watch.
Matt joined in some random Metallica male bonding. We had aisle seats and while Matt was jumping around and doing the rock n roll fist thing, random people would stop and tap Matt and point at their t-shirts which would have stuff like "Master of Puppets" on it. They'd do the manly head nod, give a "Oh yeah" kind of look and go on to the performance.
Would you believe I had someone touch my belly at the concert! A man too. It was cute though. He was trying to get by and he accidentally bumped into me. Not hard, but heck, it is hard to get around me. He then said, "I'm so sorry," and he put his hand on my tummy for a second and said, "And I'm very sorry baby." Matt gave him a look as he passed. Matt is very protective of this tummy. Matt told me on a couple occasions that he is so, so, so excited that his babies got to hear their first live concert and that it was Metallica.
I probably would have been okay staying at home on the couch watching Dancing with the Stars and going to bed at 9:30 or 10. But seeing how happy Matt was, was so worth the standing and the not getting home until almost 1. It was hard to wake up and drive the carpool this morning, but I do what I've got to do. I am going to treat myself to breakfast out this morning.
Oh, and by far, the most bone-head thing I saw done at the show, something that really pissed me off. A girl smoked her cigarette in the elevator outside the building. There are signs that it is okay to smoke in the garage, but not the freakin elevator. We had to stop on every floor and the stadium was so packed. the elevator was small and had at least 10 people in it. And the girl wouldn't put out her darn cigarette. I zipped my coat up and I was breathing the air inside my jacket for 5 minutes before we all reached the top floor where we were parked. Matt was giving the girl an evil look the whole time. There was an outspoken gal on the elevator though who told the girl who was smoking, "I'm a smoker too but I have enough common sense not to smoke on the elevator. If you burn my hair with that, I am going to kick your @ss." I kinda chuckled at that.

Happy Birthday to Me
Posted Wednesday, November 19, 2008 8:14 AM

This morning, Matt told me Happy Birthday, put his arms around me and sang to me. That was nice. I told him first thing, I wasn't going to give him the chance to forget. I got my present awhile ago. We decided against getting me the iPhone. I'm not that nuts about them. I got that CD which I love. I really like the songs on it and I buy Keane CDs, I won't download them. I buy the hard copy of the artists I love.
I love that he got Keane for me. That band means a lot to me. I choreographed a dance for our wedding to the song Bedshaped, but Matt thought the song was a bit too sensual to dance to in front of our families, so we did Nevertheless buy a different artist. If you've never heard the song Bedshaped, I totally recommend a listen.
Anyway, Matt told me last night that he was thinking that in suppliment to the CD, that maybe on Saturday after we're done baking, putting the cribs together, and cleaning , that we could go get me a body pillow so I can sleep comfortably. I was going to try to go without one, but I think I need it.
So tonight, my parents are taking me to Texas Roadhouse. I better get a free dessert and because I'm pregnant, I will not straddle that silly wooden horse. I am just soooo in the mood for a Kansas City Strip Steak with a loaded baked potato with Chili! Mmmmmmmmm! Their desserts aren't that great, but I've liked chocolate lately and even though I'm not allowed to have caffiene because of cystic breasts, I figured pregnancy gives me an excuse. I was told not to drink or eat anything caffinated years and years ago. I switched to water and everything was alright, so if I drink and eat it now, then go back to years of water, I'm sure my breasts will be fine. Heck, my body is changing so much anyway.
What I want more than anything for my birthday, is to feel my boys roll around today. It makes me happy to know they are in there and thriving. One thing that is far greater this year, than any other, is that I am so in love with Matt and Ethan and James. I have a family of my own. 24 was a big year for me. I was a newlywed, I bought a home, and I'm growing my boys. But now at 25, I get to be a mother. 25 just seems so much older than turning 24. I think it is the stress on my body. I feel older this year.

Can't Wait To Upload The Pics
Posted Friday, November 21, 2008 3:49 PM

My Boys are sooo cute. I had an ultrasound this morning and the babies are looking sooo much like babies. Their profiles are adorable. Baby B has my nose and he has a HUGE PEEPEE. Matt already yelled at me once today for saying that. He said, "Stop talking about our son that way. You are making him an object." I just think he looked so sweet. He was staring at the wand they put on my belly. It was like he was looking at us. You could see his little face. He is such a beautiful little boy. Baby A is so cute. It was a bummer we didn't get as many pictures of him. He was really stretching out. He'd throw his arms up and arch his back and throw his head backwards. I would say, "Streeeeetttttccccchhhhhhh" It was so darling to watch. I was talking to my tummy and told him, "Stretch out little man, you aren't going to have too much more room to do that. Baby A had a heartbeat of 146 and he weighs 1lb 5 ounces. Baby B weighs 1 lb 3 ounces with a heartrate of 152.
I'm just so in love with them. I can't imagine life without them now. I'm so attached to them. I am going to make them Mama's boys as soon as I can. They are just perfect in every way possible. I have to show you Baby B's inbetween the leg picture when I get home to upload the photos. You will be blown away by it. My little guy is going to be a popular little fella.
I just love my boys. So I am making a checklist. I will upload the pictures of my ornament I got made for our tree. The ultrasound pictures. A picture of the tree. The pictures of the cribs with no bedding or anything which is a bummer, I want to put it together asap. I will also post a belly picture. You won't be getting anymore bare belly pics though. I have too many stretch marks now. I have bathed in cocoa butter. So much for that!

I Gotta Get It Together
Posted Monday, November 24, 2008 6:58 AM

On Friday, Matt and I were determined to get everything on our list done and we are so close. About half way through Sunday, we just kinda sputtered out. On Friday, I had every intention to post pics of my belly, my boys and the ornaments I had made. I didn't do any of this. I'm sorry, will try to get around to this tonight. But on Friday, I finally got around to making out bills. I waited too long. You see, I can't do online bill pay. I end up forgetting what I paid and didn't pay and it becomes too stressful. So I got that done. I wrapped Matt's parent's gifts. I straightened everything in the house to get ready for the thorough cleaning for the weekend.
My cousin and I went out to dinner on Friday for our birthdays. She seems to be coping well with the loss of her pregnancy. I hate talking about the boys around her. It becomes so hard to be excited and at the same time, not flaunt my happiness. We had a really nice dinner. The waiter was a bit of a weirdo. Every time he'd stop by the table and we'd ask for something, he'd say, "Yes Dear."
That night when I got home, Matt and I started plotting what we needed to do. I started making a Wal-Mart grocery list and got so tired I almost fell asleep in the middle of the living room floor. That is, until I got so uncomfortable. The babies have started moving up and kicking or punching or doing something where they are under my ribs. I can barely breath when they do that. It hurts like an absolute biotch. I went and laid in bed. Matt rubbed my side which made it feel a lot better.
Saturday, we woke up at about 6. We got up, hung all of our pictures, assembled the cribs, fixed our wireless internet which had stopped working. By Noon, we were ready to go out to run errunds. We went to my parent's house and I bought some groceries from Schwans. Matt moved some furniture with my Dad and my Mom went over with me exactly what I would need for Thanksgiving dinner. Then I went over to visit with my Grandma and accidentally got a peek at the baby blankets she is making for the boys. I didn't want to see them, but while I was over there, I thought I'd help pick up a bit. The second I saw, I put it back down and pretended I never got the slightest look. It was cute as all get-out though!
I then went to the store and did all my shopping! I almost finished, but it was impossible to find a pecan pie. I bought frozen. There is no way for my first Thanksgiving that I'd cook a pumpkin, peach, pecan and dutch apple pie from scratch along with everything else. Matt told me that I didn't have to make all those cookies, if we could just have peanut butter and chocolate chip. So I didn't have near as much baking as I prepped for. Thank the Lord! That evening for dinner I sent Matt to pick up Outback Steakhouse. He also rented my favorite movie to watch when it is cold outside, Goblet of Fire. When Voldemort turned into his old self, I asked Matt if he knew who the character was? He didn't. I said, "You remember the really mean Nazi who would kill people from his balcony in Schindler's List?" He was like, "No way, him, Really? I hate him even more now!" If I'd have said Ralph Fiennes, he wouldn't have had a clue. Matt said, "That guy is an excellent bad guy!" I agree.
On Sunday, I super cleaned the house. Matt kept walking through saying, the house already looks immaculate. I told him that it isn't immaculate until the floors are mopped, the carpets vacuumed, the furniture is dusted, the oven and microwave have to be cleaned and I also did the laundry. By the end of last night I was just so tired I could hardly stay up for True Blood and Dexter. I cannot believe how much I am in love with this season of Dexter. This is their best season yet. And I love me some Dexter.
The only things still pending on the list are buying a turkey platter and a gravy boat. Finding the right size batteries for our glowing ornaments. Getting a lightbulb replacement for the living room ceiling fan and ordering the boy's bedding. After that, I will be able to relax and I think I will only have to vacuum once before the in-laws get here for their visit.

Not So Good Day
Posted Tuesday, November 25, 2008 8:34 AM

It is getting to the point where there is no comfortable way to be. I am constantly in pain because my back hurts so gosh darn much and I'm still throwing up every stupid day. I'm ticked off because I just want to feel good. I ran out of zofran because I thought, "Who the Heck still needs zofran at almost 24 weeks along?" I do. I need it. This stuff is like heroin for pregnant women. I've thrown up 3 freakin times today. I'm miserable and leaning over the toilet with this giant belly just hurts. The heaving just makes this belly feel heavier and heavier.
My Dr.'s office is closed all this week because of the holiday and I'm waiting for Dr. Glass, the covering physicial to call me back. I need my prescription. I just can't take it anymore. I told Matt something last night that made me feel like a terrible mother. I said that I don't want to make it to my due date. I said that the second they are healthy enough to not be in NICU, I want them born and out of me. I feel like crying now that I've said that. I enjoy feeling them kick around most of the time, but lately, it is getting to the point where I am just complaining of pains and sickness all the time.
I don't like the person I am. After the second time I threw up this morning, I was putting on some eyeliner because after I throw up, my face just looks so horrible. I get pink flushed cheeks and I swear it leaves these little wrinkles under my eyes for up to an hour and I get this rash all over my neck and upper chest. I have to wear a bit of makeup to think I'm even remotely decent enough to look at. I asked Matt, "You are done having children after this?" He said he can't see putting me through this again. We still want to adopt our little girl, but I just don't know if this is what I want to think of when I think of my pregnancy. I would love to have a great experience where I have only one baby and my cravings are better and I don't feel sick for the entire thing. But there are no promises that it would be better next time.
I guess I just wasn't built for pregnancy. My body has never behaved so poorly. Matt told me that he has yet to really be a father, that he doesn't know if he can say that it isn't worth doing again until he has his boys. He said that he cannot believe the toll this has taken on my body. I don't sleep more than a couple hours in a row and when I get up to use the restroom or throw up, I just hurt. Moving this big body around is so difficult even though I don't weigh much more than what I did before I was pregnant.
I love my baby boys and in order to have them in my life, I'd do this again in a heartbeat. I just wish I could go to spacecamp and take a nap in a zero-gravity padded room where I don't have to feel the strain of this belly. I just want to float freely and get hours of rest.

In The New House

ONE MORE DAY!

Posted Thursday, October 16, 2008 7:51 AM

One more day and I will be 18 weeks pregnant and a homeowner. I am so excited. The walkthrough went so well. I still have a few things to do though. I have to go pay the fee to get the water turned on. I have to call the company to come set up the logs in the fireplace and get it set up to be turned on. Then I have to get the phone line taken care of with DSL. I am just so excited. After that, we have to set up our mail forwarding.
I completely forgot to take pictures yesterday. The house looks so great though. At the time of our closing though, it was raining like someone was pouring a bucket over the city. It was so hard to see on the drive to the house. I was on the interstate with both hands clenching the wheel, my gaze glaring so attentively at the road. I was looking right over the steering wheel and it was horrible trying to see the lines on the road.
Just when the rain gets really bad, the unexpected happens. A spider comes crawling right into my line of sight on the dashboard. I am not afraid of spiders, but I was really not expecting him to be there. I screamed like I saw a ghost. I wanted to get him on a piece of paper so badly and throw the sucker out the window, but it was just raining too badly to take a hand off the wheel or my eyes off the road for more than a second. It was the creepiest ride ever. He started crawling around the edges of my windshield. I was positive that when he got to the top, he would drop down into my lap and I'd run my car into the median.
But I made it to the house early, safe, and the spider is no more.

Moved In and Side By Side Bellies!
Posted Sunday, October 19, 2008 7:46 PM

We moved in. I'm so happy. Oh, and here are the Side by sides!
18w2d

My Cup Runneth Over
Posted Monday, October 20, 2008 9:38 AM

My boobs are so huge right now. I don't have one single bra that I fit in properly. I don't want to go to a bra shop and hear the letter E. The letter E is terrifying. How in the heck could they get THAT big!?!
Yesterday my Grandma and Mom came over to my house to hang out. They talked for 20 minutes about how enormous my boobs are. My Grandma asked if I would be nursing and if it was possible to have enough milk to nurse twins? My mother so eloquently put it to my Grandma, "Mom, look at her, she's got enough. She probably has enough to breastfeed Matt too."
The babies' room is so fun. It is the only room in the house that is empty. I have caught Matt in there a few times just looking around. The picture on Facebook with him in the nursery is him pointing out to me where he wants things to go.
And such exciting news, last night, I felt an all-out kick. It was intense. Matt and I were laying in bed and the second I stopped stretching, I was like, "OH!" Matt bolted upright, and asked me what's wrong. I told him that I felt a full-on kick. He spent about 20 minutes with his hands on my tummy begging the babies to do it again. Then I told him that we needed to get some sleep, but I told him to lay on his side, I'd hug his back and if the babies kicked me, maybe he'd feel it with my belly pressed against him.
There is no doubt in my mind with the intensity of that one kick, that if he'd, had his hand on my belly, he'd have felt it too. That was more than a flutter or fish-flop. If all kicks are that strong, I am so in for it later on. 2 babies at once. Soo crazy.
One other thing, no internet in the house yet, total bummer. I updated last night from my Mom's house. I am calling Charter today to schedule setup. Without internet, I think I will go crazy. I might need to get cable too. I had to go to my parent's house last night to watch Desperate Housewives, True Blood, Dexter, and Cari's episode of Bridezillas.
Anyway, I am so short on sleep too and it has triggered my morning sickness to come back with vengence. I am going to try to be in bed early tonight. All I have to do tonight is buy a rake and a mailbox and 5 more sets of mini-blinds. Once I have those in, Matt will have to do the handiwork and I have commited to frozen pizza for dinner.
Matt has already said how excited he is about being able to take care of the house. He has been working hard. He installed blinds in the master, installed the peephole, put together our furniture and weedeated the tall weeds in the back of the yard. We don't have a lawn yet, but Matt didn't want the house to look unkept even though we just have dirt. He wants to get out tonight and start raking up the random rocks in the yard so when they bring in extra dirt, the rocks don't get burried, because in his words, "What if the kids want to go sledding; we can't just have rocks burried in the yard. They could get too many boo-boos."

Why Are There Not More Hours To Sleep?
Posted Monday, October 20, 2008 2:04 PM

I am about ready to fall over and zonk out on my keyboard. Instead, I think I will have to go to my car and take a nap.
My big problem is that not having enough to keep me busy today gives me more time to think about wanting sleep. It is taking everything inside me not to lean over, rest my boobs on my desk, and nestle my head in between my knockers. And yes, my breasts are big enough to do it.
I totally get why my husband likes big ones. They really are like warm soft pillows.

Fertility
Posted Tuesday, October 21, 2008 8:38 AM

So this is my first pregnancy, and even though I am so in love and can't wait to be a Mommy, I have been very miserable. It has been hard to eat, smells I used to love send me off the edge and hoovering over the toilet. I can't eat my favorite meat (chicken). It has just been difficult.
Matt has been saying that he will get a vasectomy once the babies are born. I was behind this to some degree. My thing is, I know that this pregnancy has had adverse affects on my health, but is it enough to take away our fertility? I want to adopt later, but am I really done after just this one time?
We are obviously fertile if I put out 2 eggs naturally. I just can't shake the idea that we might not ever get to be pregnant again, even though I haven't really enjoyed it. When looking at the babies and feeling the babies move I am so happy to be doing this, but at other moments, this really just seems like a chore that I must tough out in order to get to the end result.
There are so many things about pregnancy that I don't love. I don't like the constant throwing up. I brush my teeth all the time because I've seen bulemic women's teeth and I don't want to damage the enamel. I have stretch marks on the underside of my breasts and I know this will get worse. I just feel like I am not in charge of this body anymore and it is such a foreign feeling.
I used to do things that were unhealthy, but nothing I couldn't handle. I would pull all-nighters, which are now impossible. I'd have a beer with dinner, which is now impossible. I'd pop yellow jackets in order to get crap done: impossible. I just feel like I've fallen behind because I can't be Superwoman anymore.
I was driving in this morning to work and I passed by the AB Brewery and the smell of barley and hops just filled the air and I kinda missed the idea of drinking a beer after work with my husband. We have this beautiful deck with a great view. I can't wait for the days when I can put the babies down to sleep and go sit outside with Matt and just unwind with drinks.
I am scared of giving birth. I told this to Matt last night. He was really sweet and he held his arms around me and we talked about my concerns. My concern is that it is going to be soooo painful. I know that is silly to think about, but in some way or another, these cute little babies have to make it to the outside and that scares the ever-lovin crap out of me. Matt told me all the right things, about how strong I am, about how I have taken injuries in the past, and how tough I am. Tough or not, I've never had a major surgery. Also, the last couple times I was in the ER, I wasn't that tough.
The last time I went in, was a month before my wedding with the grade 3 sprain. It hurt so badly, there were a few times when I lost all sensation in my entire body, I couldn't hear anything except for muffled noises and I blacked out once. My ankle was the size of a volleyball, but still, I wasn't a trooper on that one. I screamed like a baby and Matt had to carry me.
The second to last time, I had a broken foot, wrist, nerve damage and bruises covering the majority of my body. I was tough for awhile, but after waiting in the ER for an hour, I started crying and couldn't stop at all.
Matt likes to think of me as the girl that broke her finger in a competition, took a dowel rod and electric tape to splint it, and finished her show without a hiccup. Yeah, it is impressive, but you know what I have to show for being tough? Arthritis and crooked fingers. Taking pain like a gladiator is a bunch of bull and I have decided that I hate pain. All different kinds of it. I want these babies to just be here. Why can't they do it like in old times. They knock you out, wake you up, and hand you a baby or in my case, 2 babies. My grandma told me, it is definitely the way to go.
I am just conficted on whether this is it for us. I love Matt so much and the other day he told me he really wants at least one daughter. He said that he just feels like there is something special about having a little girl to protect and look after. He said that he wants to be able to have a little girl that he can take to father/daughter dances and he wants to be able to walk his daughter down the aisle one day. It was just a sweet moment that almost made me cry. I hope we have one of each right now because even though my gut is now telling me 2 boys, I want Matt to have his little baby girl.

Amanda E-worth is the Most Boring Person in the World!
Posted Wednesday, October 22, 2008 12:38 PM

At least, I bet this is what my Junior Achievement shadows are thinking. Dear lord, what a boring day. They refused to talk to me. I was to have them shadow me for 2.5 hours. First off, I had a boy and a girl. the boy was much more outgoing than the girl, at least the boy got up and came over to me during partnering. I had to stand around and wait for the girl, a teacher caught her hiding from the school in the Center Auditorium. I mean, What the heck, right?
Anyway, when I got her in the group, I took them for pictures where she held a folder in front of her face. Whenever she'd talk, she would hold the folder in front of her face and I couldn't hear a word she was saying. They were supposed to have a workbook with them, but no. I had a website with fun activities that Junior Achievement sent me. I was told both kids would be 16 and should be asked questions about the kind of jobs they want. They were 14 and had no clue. when I asked them if they had any ideas about what they wanted to be, the guy said, I want to work at Jiffy Lube, the other girl wanted to play in the WNBA. I was like, "Uh-huh, well that is great." I mentioned that after high school, he might want to look at going to a trade school to learn how to be a mechanic. He said he had no interest in school. For the girl, I stressed scholarships and following through with hobbies and sports you are good at.
I tried telling them about the importance of Networking and being a team player, having great communication skills and making a great first impression, the boy put his head down on my desk and closed his eyes. The girl listened, but wouldn't answer me. I told the boy, "Uh-uh, head up, if I don't take a nap, you don't either." I asked the boy if he had experience working with others because these are great things to think about on interviews when you are trying to get a first job. He said, "I don't like working with others, I prefer for everyone to just leave me alone. I have no interest in working with people."
I asked them what high school they went to, the boy knew, the girl didn't. She didn't know her high school. Huh?
They asked me how much money I make and I told them that I make very good money, and I was hired on at a rate above what normal college graduates are hired on. They were like, "That doesn't mean anything, how much per hour." I said I didn't have an hourly wage and they were done with me.
I told them about my high school experience, extra-curricluar activities and they said they didn't want to do any of that stuff. I told them about all the career paths I thought I wanted to take and how I ended up in Project, Performance, and Communications Management, and they had no interest.
When I took them down for pizza, they wouldn't talk to me, but they wouldn't leave my side either. When I asked them if they had friends here, they were like, "Yeah, but do you want us to leave you?" I told them if they wanted to spend the last half-hour hanging out, that was fine. I shook each of their hands and gave them my business card and told them that if they ever needed advise, to just ask.
I know they didn't have fun. That, and I had to talk til I was blue in the face. They are so young, I can't imagine being interested in that as a 14 yr old freshmann.

One More Week
Posted Thursday, October 23, 2008 11:35 AM

So by this time next week, I am going to know a little more about the rugrats living in my belly. It will be so cool to start referring to them by name. Matt and I had our list of 4 boy's names and I hate to break it to him, but his absolute favorite has started to get on my nerves.
Johnathan Ray Thomas
He liked Johnathan Thomas Ray and I was like, "Heck, NO!" I couldn't name my son John Thomas, that is like naming your son Pocket Rocket of Trouser Snake. Matt had never heard of this before, but I assure you, look up the Monty Python Pen!s song. It is in the list.
Now, the main reason I have a problem with Johnathan in general is because of All My Children.
I don't know if many of you know this about me, but I have watched this soap opera since I was 13 years old and if you watch soap operas, you learn to love or hate certain characters. Johnathan is not a character that has been around forever, but the actor who plays him annoys me.
My old best friend from growing up had a Mom that watched soaps. Her mother loved a character so much, she named both daughters after her. Deidra and Marla were both named after Deidra Hall.
I can't associate my child with a character from my Soap Opera unless it is Aiden, because dear lord the second he came on the show with Maria who had amnesia after the plane crash which supposedly killed her (Her UPN Network show bombed and she needed the money), I had a crush on that man and he so reached the top of my "list." Anyway, don't know how to break Matt's heart. Maybe it will be 2 girls still? Probably not likely since the tech was 85/90% sure she saw a little boy part last time. Ah, the little man's John Thomas

19 Weeks
Posted Friday, October 24, 2008 10:23 AM

I was thinking today, being 19 weeks along seems so crazy. Almost everyone at my Dr's office thinks that I will be delivering about 2 weeks before my due date. So if that is the case, then I am half-way there today. It gives me goosebumps. What also gives me goosebumps are the little movements I am feeling and recognizing more and more.
So I have that news which is semi-wonderful. Semi because even though I am so anxious to meet these little ones, I don't want them to leave me sooner than what their little bodies can handle. But if they are healthy as horses at 38 weeks and decide they want to see the outside of their Mommy, I welcome them with open arms.
I bought the dress I have to wear for my friend Elisa's wedding. It was funny trying it on. I told myself that the size would only freak me out, try not to pay attention to it. In all honesty, it made me laugh. I would usually wear a size 10 which isn't tiny, but isn't big. With my belly, I fit snuggly into a 16, well, snug around the belly, everywhere else was baggy. The 18 fit my tummy better, and the bust was huge on this dress. I thought my knockers were big, but they didn't remotely fill out that dress.
The size they ordered seemed crazy. They ordered the dress in a 22. I had 2 choices on how to react. A normal size 10 buying a dress in size 22. I could cry my eyes out or laugh and joke about not knowing how big the babies are going to make me. When the lady was holding the dress up in the back to make sure it wouldn't fall off the top of me, she said, "It wouldn't upset you if we order the 22, right? If you will be nursing, we just want to know we have enough fabric to cover your top." I said it was fine and that it was actually perfect because it gives me room to eat some Ben and Jerry's.
Tomorrow, Matt and I have a big list of to-dos and I have my sister and her friend staying the night at the house while ours and her friend's parents go to a Halloween party. It will be fun to have kids in the house. I love when Mads comes over. I miss not being able to hug her, pick her up and spin her in circles. I always used to do it. Matt and my sister get along really well. I think it is because Matt is kind of a big kid himself. They both like to color, watch cartoons, and play video games. I can't wait until the babies are here and I can go back to being the normal Mandy. Lots of kids and babies to pick up hold and spin around with. And trust me, I know not to spin around my newborns. Although, I still have no clue how I will hold them both without knocking their heads together, I really hope they cover that in the Multiples classes at the hospital.

Not Even 20 weeks and feeling like 3rd Tri!
Posted Monday, October 27, 2008 12:56 PM

Ok, so over the weekend, we got the garage door opener installed and it is heaven. Am I seriously so old and boring that heaven has become a garage door opener? You know what is also heaven? Mini-blinds! They are all installed and they look so nice. I know they are expensive, but the beautiful 2 inch wood blinds really do make me smile.
Also, the peep-hole and door knocker look great, as well as the fancy mailbox Matt and I splurged on. He is my sexy handyman. The only thing I wanted was the internet and cable hooked up, but it isn't like Charter could actually honor an appointment. Everyone who wants TV, internet, and phone is held hostage by the same crap, will the install guy show up today, no one knows.
We get the fireplace set up today, the phone jacks intalled in the house, and Charter will be back out to fix what they couldn't seem to do over the weekend.
Alright, now to the babies. They are their Mommy's pride and joy already. I love to sing to them and I always have my hands on my belly. It is almost like holding them. Their Daddy has gotten more quality time with them this past weekend than he's gotten in a long time.
I have to admit, one of the conversations he had with the babies annoyed me very much, but I wasn't going to interrupt, father-babies bonding. He talked to them for 15 minutes like characters on the Sims talk. You know, in gibberish, but with gusto and tons of emotive pauses! I laughed at first, but I think it went on a bit too long.
Saturday, I babysat my little sis and her friend. They were so bored at our house. I admit, I am bored at my house. We couldn't even leave (Charter hostages). I rented them some movies and got them ice cream. I set them up in mine and Matt's bedroom and they watched Superhero Movie with Drake Bell (He's so dreamy! Ha :). Matt and I were going to watch the last Indiana Jones movie in the living room. About 5 minutes in and feeling fine, boom, I hit a wall. It was almost as though I passed out. I couldn't sit up. I was so darn tired. Matt tried to keep me awake, but when I went from sitting on the floor to the couch, Baby A hauled off and gave me a hard swift kick. (He) wanted me asleep, and that was just how it was going to be.
Sunday was boring. Matt was at home waiting for Charter and playing Fable. I went to my Mom and Dad's to hang out and watch TV. When I got home, I zonked out in my husband's arms. It was so nice to be held sweetly as I drift off. 2nd trimester energy burst did not last long, although I was warned that all that quickly goes out the door with twins. When I laid on my back later that night, I woke up and thought I was going to die for a couple different reasons. #1) I had a massive headache. #2) I felt like I couldn't breathe. #3) I had to pee because I can feel my darling babies bounce on my bladder now. Once I peed and laid on my side, all was good. I guess that was my warning that there will be no more comfy sleeping on my back. Total bummer!
Right now, I'm just thrilled that by the end of this week, Matt and I will probably be calling our little M&M's by name. These babies just melt my heart.

No, No, No, Please let me Unsee this!
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 8:29 AM

I read it, I knew I shouldn't, but I did. Why would I read something about the Worst Appitizers in America. Why the guilt? This weekend was supposed to be a celebration at outback with aussie cheese fries and a bloomin onion. Sure we knew it was unhealthy, but I think it has been ruined. I don't want to eat healthy. I find out what the babies are Thursday and on Saturday, I wanted that unhealthy treat, but can I put this in my body?

CHILI’STexas Cheese Fries w/ Jalapeno-Ranch Dressing2,070 calories160 g fat (73 g saturated)3,730 mg sodium Fat Equivalent: Like eating 16 Taco Bell Crunchy Tacos!After we identified Chili’s Awesome Blossom in our investigative report here on The 20 Worst Foods in America, the chain’s 203 fat grams of deep-fried onion disappeared from the menu. Unfortunately that’s like taking a kiddie shovel to a menu that needs to be cleared with a front loader. The Texas Cheese Fries with jalapeno-ranch dressing has nearly two days’ worth of sodium in this one starter — and nearly four days’ worth of saturated fat.

ON THE BORDERGrande Fajita Nachos – Mesquite-Grilled Steak1,970 calories127 g fat (54 g saturated)3,780 mg sodium Fat Equivalent: Like eating an entire package of Oreos!Even if you’re only one of four people working on these nachos, you’ll still bludgeon your belly with half a day’s worth of fat. The same is true for the Border Sampler. Opt instead for the 500-calorie basket of Chips & Salsa.

OUTBACK STEAKHOUSEAussie Cheese Fries with Ranch2,030 calories??? g fat??? mg sodium Calorie Equivalent: Like eating as many as 21 White Castle Hamburgers!Consider this one of America’s most questionable appetizers. That’s because Outback doesn’t provide full nutritional data for any of its products, forcing diners to guess exactly how many day’s worth of fat and sodium must really be crammed into this cheesy mess.
Earlier estimates from nutritional analysis groups put the pile at 2,900 calories with close to 200 grams of fat; even with Outback’s more conservative calorie counts, these frightening fries should be avoided at all costs.

PIZZA HUTTaters (full order)1,580 calories104 g fat (20 g saturated)4,160 mg sodium Sodium Equivalent: Like eating more than two full bags of Ruffles Original Potato Chips!A bag of Ruffles has about 11 servings, which means these tater-tot miscreants carry the heart-taxing sodium load of 22 servings of potato chips. Throw these over your shoulder for good luck; you’ll avoid nearly two days’ worth of sodium that come with this one side. And to discover other salty foods you should steer clear of, check out these 20 foods your cardiologist won’t eat! They're among America's worst.

ROMANO’S MACARONI GRILLRomano’s Sampler (fried calamari, fried mozzarella, tomato bruschetta, garnish)1,640 calories98 g fat (22 g saturated)4,000 mg sodium Calorie and Sodium Equivalent: Like eating more than 10 Extra Crispy Drumsticks from KFC!This sampler is a roundup of the worst offenders on the menu: fried calamari, fried mozzarella, and tomato bruschetta. The only massive calorie bomb they bypass is the 980-calorie Shrimp Artichoke Dip. With a menu as heavy as Macaroni Grill’s, you’d be better off skipping the starters altogether.

RUBY TUESDAYGrand Sampler (fire wings, southwestern spring rolls, fried mozzarella, and chicken tenders)1,644 calories100 g fat Calorie Equivalent: Like eating 5 McDonald’s Cheeseburgers!There’s enough fried food here to feed an entire Little League baseball team, so unless you’re taking them to Ruby’s (and you have signed permission slips) after the game, I'd recommend avoiding a swing at this bad pitch.

T.G.I. FRIDAYSJack Daniel’s Sampler (Jack Daniel’s glaze over fried shrimp, Sesame Jack Chicken Strips, and Baby Back Pork Ribs)2,330 calories??? g fat??? mg sodium Calorie Equivalent: Like eating more than 8 Steak Fajita Hot Pockets!Thanks to new legislation in New York City, chain restaurants were forced to post their calorie counts on their menus. As a result, what Fridays’ patrons discovered was that they’ve been unwittingly paying for a clobbering with a big, greasy fat stick. More than half the appetizers top 1,000 calories.

UNO CHICAGO GRILLPizza Skins (full order)2,400 calories155 g fat (50 g saturated)3,600 mg sodium Calorie Equivalent: Like eating a Large Domino’s Hand-Tossed Sausage Pizza!Would you ever think of saying to a waiter: “Why don’t you start us off with a large meat pizza?” If you’re ordering for a party of more than 5 it might be OK, but for smaller groups, it's tilting toward gluttony gone wild. Order the Thai Vegetable Pot Stickers instead — the only item carrying fewer than 800 calories.

VERY IMPORTANT BLOG: READ NOW AND RESPOND!
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 11:07 AM

Guess the sex!
Remember, if you guess boy and girl, you will at least be half-right, unless these turn out to be the homaphrodite twins from St. Louis, but don't say that because it would not make me laugh!

Results will be in after I return from my ultrasound which is at 8:30 am central time tomorrow! Please Stay Tuned!