I'm Pregnant
Posted Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5:29 PM
Matt doesn't know yet. I am so scared out of my mind right now.
First Thing We Did
Posted Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:58 PM
Matt called right when he was done with his exit assessment from STLC College. He told me how it went and he said he couldn't wait to get home.
I said hurry home, I have good news, and I said it completely calm. He said, "Are you pregnant?"
I said "Yes"
He was like, "Seriously?",
I was like, "Yes"
He said, "Swear?"
I said, "I swear"
He said "Swear to God?"
I said "I swear to God!"
He said, "I'm Gonna Be A Dad!"
Then I just cried. I am so happy right now. We went out and bought The pregnancy journal and Fatherhood by Bill Cosby. And We bought my sister a "World's Coolest Aunt" picture frame and we bought my Mom a birthday card that says "Happy Birthday to a Really Cool Grandma!" Then it has a big blank space on the front, Matt's going to use his artistic skills to draw a giant "SURPRISE" in that space. Her birthday is the 24th. It is going to be holy heck to wait that long.
I just want to tell everyone right now. The people who know in the correct order were: Julia and the rest of the Girls, My friend from work Cindy, Matt, and I have called my friend Elisa and am waiting for her to call me back. This will be hard to handle with the wedding. I hope that she is happy for me. I really love her. I truly do. I am protective of her and I feel like she is a sister to me. I still want to plan everything fun for her, and maybe I won't stay out late for the bachelorette party, but I can certainly be there for the dinner before it. Her friendship means so much to me and I am far more worried about her reaction than my parents'.
Matt and I are so happy, we have already started calling each other "Mommy and Daddy" I love this man so much. He asked me if I wanted to watch the movie "Once" with him tonight since he borrowed it from his friend, I said "No, I rented Drillbit Taylor and I want to watch it, and I am carrying your child, so what I say goes." He smiled and caved for tonight, I better not wear that excuse out too fast!!!!!
Not Only is He Happy!!!!!!!
Posted Wednesday, July 16, 2008 8:13 AM
I made a list of the people I want to tell. This is the list of people that I could share anything with. Although, nothing bad is going to happen to my little m&m that I would even need this list of people, so there. He or she is going to hang on and enjoy the ride.
Ok, so I have told Matt, my friend Cindy from work, my friend Elisa, then today, I will tell Karen, and I will tell my parents tonight. I am so excited. I want to be like Matthew McConaughey and be really stoked about this pregnancy and we can just talk about how truly awesome and bitchin' life is.
Anyway, I am so in love with the idea of being pregnant. It is not the most convenient time, but this is just perfect. My baby is a pleasant surprise.
Last night, Matt and I were in the middle of a movie and Elisa called. I was so nervous to tell her. She told the bridesmaids that she wouldn't want pregnant girls in her wedding. By the time of her wedding, I will be ready to pop. She was like, "Hey, heard your message, is everything okay?" I said, "Don't hate me, don't be upset with me." She said, "Can you not make it to the wedding?" I said,"I'm pregnant." She said something like, "Oh my Gosh, really, I am so excited for you, Congratulations!" Then she told me not to tell the other bridesmaids until I'm at 3 months or more because "Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean I am giving permission for the rest of the girls to get pregnant." I said, "Well, if they find out, just say that you like me better." She said, "Well, you are my Matron of Honor, so that kinda says it already." Then she told me, "I was at Hallmark a couple months ago and they put a bunch of stuff on clearance, and I figured you would have a baby sometime soon, so I bought this little Easter outfit. Don't worry, it is just little booties and a hat to make the baby look like a baby chick, so it would be cute on a boy or girl." I was like, "Aw, Aunt Elisa is already buying presents." Then I talked Wedding stuff with her.
After I got off the phone, Matt came in and hugged me. I was so relieved that I just cried my eyes out (Hormones!).
Last night, Matt made me go to bed early. He told me that he wants a strong healthy baby. Yesterday in the car, he said, "Driving with you in the car has never made me nervous, but I am terrified now." Then super early this morning, I woke up and shifted around. I accidentally woke him, and he hugged my back and put his hands on my tummy. He said in a groggy voice, and tickled my belly, "This will be more fun later." We fell back asleep, then the alarm went off early. He got me up, and was like, "I am making you a healthy breakfast." He set me out a bowl of cereal and he cut up bananas into it (like I love). Then he told me that I need to get used to some kind of dairy product to get our baby some calcium. I will need to talk to my doctor. I am lactose intolerant to a degree. I can eat a bit of ice cream, and a little bit of cheese, but not much. I am so jealous of people who can just drink a glass of 2% milk.
And I almost forgot to mention the very best part. I was straightening my hair this morning and Matt and I really hadn't said much this morning, but he came in and said, "Breakfast is ready Mommy." I just love it. Life is Just So Good. I love my little m&m.
Hold On To Me Tight M&M
Posted Thursday, July 17, 2008 8:08 AM
Because everyone knows about you now. I told my parents last night. They laughed, they cried, they flipped me off. Seriously, they did. I was trying to think of a cool way to tell them, so I did the card, but I wrote on the front of the envelope, Happy Early Birthday Mom! She couldn't get the card out of the envelope, so Matt said, "You want some help?" Then she flipped us both off. So as she was "pointing" at me, I pointed to the card, she read it, and my Dad read it over her shoulder. He started smiling and jumped up and hugged me. My Mom hugged me too. Then they hugged Matt and said congratulations.
We sat down for dinner and my sister wanted to sit next to me. I said it was fine, and my Mom said, "Obviously Matt has been sitting a little to close to her."
Anyway, my sister asked me, did the Dr. tell you that you were pregnant? I said "No, there are tests that you do at home." She, being the "Kids Say The Darndest Things" 11 year old, she is, said, "A test? Well I guess you passed it then!" I was like, "Yeah, I guess I did."
My parents have told everyone and I mean everyone. 5 people knew by this time yesterday. With my parents on the scoop, easily, 10 times that number know. I am a bit worried. I told them, it is really early, I just want to make sure everything is good. I have to go to the Dr. still.
We told the couple who are helping us move on Saturday, I figure they will need to know so they don't think I am just being lazy by not carrying the heavy stuff. We went to their house last night. They invited us over to play RockBand and when we told them, Matt's good friend Chris was so happy. He practically bounced. He smiled at us the whole night. They have a little girl who will be 3 next January. He is very excited for us. His wife went into work mode, she grabbed a step ladder and started pulling down books. We have a pregnancy and new baby library now. Literally, we stepped away with 10 new books.
I am quickly falling head over heals in love with the idea of a baby inside me. I have already been talking to my little M&M. I just want this baby to grow strong and healthy. I don't care about anything else, I just want this baby to be alright. I am so scared that he or she can still be taken away from me. All signs are good though. I have not had any spotting at all, but I have had pregnancy symptoms which means that I know my hormones are changing. I am just praying for morning sickness and every other annoyance of pregnancy just to remind me that my baby is inside me, growing.
I hope so much that my little m&m is healthy. I want to lay down when I get home tonight and take a healthy nap. I know I have to do some cleaning, but I am not going to overdo it when it comes to Matt's brother visiting.
I need to look into my maternity care options. I need to look into whether I want to keep my Dr.which I hope I can. I need a doctor who delivers at St. Johns. In St. Louis, you have many hospitals, but St. Johns is the best.
I am so scared right now. I want to hear a heartbeat so badly. I think it will make me either cry or giggle, maybe both. I giggled the whole way down the aisle at my wedding. And I giggled during the ceremony. My preacher said that I was the only person he ever saw react that way. I was just so happy on the day I married Matt. I cried when Matt proposed and I can prove it, there was a photographer taking pictures of the glass who saw us and took a bunch of pictures, he has a gallery online: http://www.pbase.com/ninecount/engagement If you choose to look, I think you can see how happy I am.
I just don't know what this will do to me. I am just so happy that this is happening. I never want this happiness to go away. Please stay my little m&m. If you are a girl, your Daddy wants to name you Sophie Jillian. Mommy wants to name you Ava, but she will go with Sophie if Daddy wants it bad enough.
I Had a Bad Evening
Posted Friday, July 18, 2008 10:26 AM
Hey M&M, sorry Mommy freaked out some last night. I tried to pack a little bit last night, and I wasn't packing any of the boxes heavy, but I started to scare myself. I have been told not to lift anything heavy, and I totally agree, but I am worried, what if I lifted something too heavy. I freaked myself out and jumped in bed for an early night at 8:30. I was surprised at how well I went right to sleep. For some reason, I can only sleep on my side or my stomach. And it totally freaks me out to sleep on my tummy. When I sleep on my back, my back hurts so bad. Any other way, I am fine.
However, nightmares and sickness set in last night. I tossed and turned all night. Matt was out with his brother til 1:30 am, so I didn't have his comfort until then. But at about 11, I woke up from a nightmare that just terrified me. I dreamt that I wasn't pregnant. I mention the baby to Matt and he said, "Mandy, you were never pregnant." I woke up and I was just so scared. I ran to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test again. I didn't have any spotting, and I got some very bright pink lines. I was never so happy. I swear I am going to drive myself crazy.
My tummy was very upset last night and I had heartburn something fierce. I just couldn't get back to sleep very well. I finally just dozed off and Matt gets home and crawls in bed with me. I was kinda frustrated. I have wanted to have the opportunity to crawl in bed with him and talk before we go to sleep, but we have been so busy and he has been staying up late to finish his workouts and read baby books.
As adorable as I think my husband is, I think I really need this sweet time before bed. I asked him this morning if we were going to have alone time together today. He said, "We can, Why?" I said, I need to talk about some baby and us stuff.
Through the sickness and overall yucky feelings, I do feel closer to Matt than I have ever felt before. For the first time in my life, I feel like I absolutely need him.
I love the idea that our little M&M is growing like the day by day growth chart. I did my math, and I realized that my due date is March 20th. I have my first appointment on July 30th at 8:15 am. I am just so nervous. I found out that this Dr. doesn't deliver where I want to go, so I am going to try to get accepted at my friend Karen's OBGYN. I talked with my supervisor today and we are going to meet later and discuss the time off policy and everything.
Oh my gosh, what a day. I would say thank goodness it is Friday, I can relax and sleep the weekend away, but there is just way to much to do. I am so going to take a lunch nap today.
Only the Best For My M&M
Posted Friday, July 18, 2008 3:17 PM
I already cancelled my first Dr. appointment and switched Doctors. I want a Dr who will deliver in the hospital I want, so I now have Dr Renee Stein (my friend Karen's Dr). I link to her webpage. If you look, all I have to say is, "How freakin cute is my Dr!?!" Sorry Dr Clancy, but I am going with Renee. She is closer to my parent's place, where we will be living for awhile. It is closer to the home we are building and I get the hospital I really want.
My supervisor is going to go over all the maternity leave stuff with me which shouldn't be a problem because a girl on my team had a baby 2 weeks ago so he knows exactly what the policies are. Yay!!!
And I feel like I am a total scatter-brain. I was telling the Dr my birthday, and I gave the wrong date. I was telling her my social and I accidentally gave her the last 4 digits of my husband's cell phone number. I am now thinking crap, I was supposed to be calling bill companies and telling them about my address change. I never want to move again. Ever!!!! Definitely not after I find out I am pregnant!
My mother told me today, "You will do anything to get out of moving." When we moved into the apartment, I fell down the stairs and twisted my ankle. I couldn't help then, now I can't help because of M&M. I want to help move. I don't trust other people to have their paws in my things. It doesn't matter if they are friends or family. I don't like feeling so helpless. I can't lift anything heavy.
I just want my little M&M to be old enough to where I can hear his or her heartbeat. Julia's blog has made me nuts today. I want to hear little M&Ms heartbeat more than anything right now. I am just not patient enough for pregnancy.
I don't want to go to the bachi ball party tonight. It doesn't sound like fun. There will be drinking and smoking. I hate smoke. And I can't drink, so I know I am going to come across as a stick in the mud. I hate that Matt's friends have silly parties. I don't want to go to a bachi ball party, a "The Whitest Kids You Know" party, or a LAN party. I am done with SILLY parties! Dangit, I just don't see why Matt 's friends can't play cards or drinking games or play anything but bachi ball.
Busy, Busy, Busy
Posted Sunday, July 20, 2008 2:20 PM
Ok, so yesterday was our moving day. We got mostly everything packed. Matt and I woke up at 7 and he started loading my car with fragile boxes while I went to get breakfast. For some reason, walking to the back of the super grocery store completely exhausted me. I went to the back to get donuts. When I got there, it was disgusting, there were flies in the donut case. I decided to walk over and get cream cheese which was on the other side of the store. Then I walked to an opposite corner for bagels. By the time I made it to the checkout counter, I felt like I needed a nap.
But you see, the night before, I went to Matt's friend's party. It was okay, except that I ate a burger and grilled veggies with some wheat chips and mango salsa and spent half the evening throwing it up. I tried to hold back, but it just wasn't happening. Sorry M&M, Mommy will not eat Mango salsa until you are born, and after tasting it coming up, maybe I will just never eat it again. Matt left the party early and went to get some saltines. I got back to the party and sat in the floor. This little girl was there, she was almost 2, and her name is Lily. I thought she was adorable.
At Matt's friend's place, they have this orange deco spinning chair, and Lily and I played on it for a couple hours and we shared my saltines. She was a doll, and I am so happy I got to hang out with her, but I got very tired while trying to keep up.
Anyway, back to the grocery store, I bought breakfast for all our movers and Matt calls me as I am getting in the car and said, don't forget juice and chocolate milk. I said nope, they can drink water and I came home.
Matt went to get the truck. We ordered a 17 ft truck and only got a 14 ft truck. We fit mostly everything in it.
Luckily, a friend of ours drove his pickup and got the last couple of pieces. Matt's friend Chris was so great. I was bummed that his wife and their daughter weren't able to come over. But anyway, we had emptied all the drawers to my dresser except for one, which we kinda forgot about. That was, the BC drawer. Chris opened it, and said, well if you have this drawer, I have no idea how you got pregnant. Matt blushed and I said, "Well Chris, we obviously didn't open it as much as we should have." (Sorry M&M, Mommy and Daddy are very happy that we made you.)
There are only a couple things left in the apartment now. We left all our stuff to clean up, one rental movie from the place nearby, and also, a bunch of extra boxes that we have decided to keep because we don't know how fast we will accumulate baby stuff while we live at my Mom and Dad's place.
Last night, Matt and I were home alone in the house. We ended up just cuddling. Matt and I slept in and wondered when his brother would talk to us because he didn't show up last night. He eventually called us and he wants us to meet him at the Art Museum. I don't want to go do this. If he would have said, lets go to the zoo, I would have been okay with it, still a lot of walking, but I could get some enjoyment out of it. Really, the art museum out here is something you only need to see once every 10 years or so. I saw it last winter. BIL can go. Matt and I are sore and tired from moving yesterday.
Towards the end of yesterday, Matt was still working at getting boxes stacked downstairs and I wanted to help. He was like, "No, you have worked hard enough today." I was like, I have barely worked, and he said stuff that was so cute. He was like, "Come on, you are constantly working. You have been doing nothing but working. You are making a baby, I can't imagine how hard that is. You just sit right there and keep up the good work." I just wanted to say, "Stop it and let me help a little", but Matt is very stubborn and I guess, so am I.
Oh well, that is about everything. Other than the fact that I have been doing something that I guess is silly. I know I am just a bit over 4 weeks, but I have been talking to my M&M. I am so excited. I have a book that chronicles the daily changes in baby. I read it outloud to M&M. I am finding it so fascinating. Also, I read Matt the short synopsis right before we go to sleep. He thinks it is cool, what all is happening inside me. He told me I am amazing. I asked him why, and he said, "Because you are, and you are extra amazing because you have my baby in your tummy."
Also, my sister and Mom and Dad were out of town when we moved in. They will be back tonight. I talked to my sister on the phone and with only competing 2 events in her competition this weekend, she took 2 first place finishes. I was saying congrats over the phone and she said, "Are you coming over tonight?" I said "Kiddo, I live here now." She said, "Oh yeah! Hey, how big are you now?" I said "Still the same size kiddo." I heard my Mom laughing in the background.
It was a busy weekend. I am happy that right now, I am just relaxing and looking back on it all. I am wearing my bathing suit, admiring the last of my flatter tummy and thinking about my Walmart shopping list. I am going to buy a raft and spend all my evenings this week (including tonight, lounging in my Mom and Dad's pool. Next weekend, Matt and I leave for Omaha. This has been a crazy whirlwind of a week. I hope that the weekend after next is just nice and calm. M&M and I need a break.
Birthday Buddies
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 7:53 AM
With my due date on March 20th, Matt is really wanting me to have the baby 6 days early. He wants me to deliver on his birthday. His Grandpa was born March 14th, he was born March 14th, and Matt wants his first baby to be born on March 14th. I told him I would try my best. If that is the case, it would be great. I could have our baby, make Matt extremely happy and have 2 weeks recovery and weight loss until I had to stand up in Elisa's wedding. It is wishful thinking I know, but it could happen :)
Also, according to the little ticker I made on Lilypie.com, I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Jeesh, already over a month, it just seems crazy. Already less than 8 months to go.
Open Mouth, Insert Foot- Ode to Matt's Friends
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 10:23 AM
Ok, so Friday, I went to Matt's friend's Party. I like this girl, she is a really sweet. In fact, most of Matt's friends are really great. Always willing to lend a hand, always polite and funny.
However, there are a few I dislike. There is one who likes to color on herself. She puts her hair into as many ponytails as she can. I think she always smells bad. She looks alot like a ferret and I think she has a bad attitude. I remember being in a group of Matt's friends and they were trying to sugarcoat it. they were saying things like, "Yeah, she is just different." "She has her own way of doing things." "She is very independent." "I have trouble telling if she likes me, but that is just her personality." "It took a while for me to warm up to her." I said, "Wow, you all have a lot of ways to tiptoe around the fact that she's a b!tch."
Then there is another one of his friends that drives me crazy. The last party he had, he ended up telling all of us to F*** off then flipping us off while he left early. However, he has his moments where he can hang very well, with exception to one 20 minute long conversation about petrified wood. He had a vasectomy when he was 19 years old because he believes that it is cruel to bring children into a world that is full of violence and hate. He is a big pessimist. Anyway, this cute little baby was at the party on Friday and she was by far the best entertainment of the night. After she went to bed, Matt and I were sitting on the porch talking with her parents about what a doll she was and this friend says, "Don't even think of having kids, they will ruin your life." We didn't want to flat out say, we are pregnant, but at the same time, I didn't like sitting there and listening to him tell me that I was carrying a parasite that would help kill our planet either.
Eating for 2
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 12:50 PM
Ok, so I feel really bad about this and hope this isn't a consistent pattern, but I feel like I could eat a horse today. I had a bowl of cereal this morning at 5. I had 4 fat free fig newton cookies at about 8. At 10:30, I ate my lunch, which was a bagel sandwich. So hear it is, Noon, and I just asked a friend to go to lunch with me. I need the food. Dangit I am going to have a lot of weight to lose. I really hope my baby can breast feed, because once this is over, I am going to need some serious help shedding the lbs.
Want to read blogs.
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 4:09 PM
I have tried to read people's blogs, but I am so tired. I am almost afraid I am going to pass out and hit my head on my keyboard. My belly is full and M&M is using up that energy. I have determined that our little M&M thinks I am a stay-at-home mommy who has time for naps. No, no baby. Mommy has to work until we win the lottery, then I would love to stay at home with you and sleep all day.
Mommy and Daddy are full time students, we are full time employees, we are building a house and we are making a fuss about you, M&M. Do whatever you can to be comfortable, but if Mommy could have her 9 hours at work, she promises to nap on the car-ride home.
I need to start exercising more. Maybe getting into a very light fitness routine will help me. Usually I walk, but today it is 98 degrees outside and I don't want to walk in that heat. I want to do pregnancy yoga. I just wish I had my Dr.'s appointment soon so I can know that there is no risk to my little baby leaving me.
All I can say is, M&M, I hope you give Mommy a little break when she gets home. I hope daddy is in a good mood and I hope so much that you let me sleep well tonight without being rigged up in pillows. And tomorrow, I hope that you let me stay awake enough to let me catch up on reading the blogs. I have posted a lot today, but it is all a ploy to keep me awake.
Morning Sickness
Posted Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:21 AM
I was beginning to think that all the other pregnant women in the world were putting on a bit. I was queazy, but nothing too bad, until this morning. An hour drive to work and I threw up in my mouth 3 times. It made me want to lose it that much more. Mark this day, this is the first time I have seriously disliked pregnancy.
Holden or Sophie is trying to kill Mommy. Yesterday I could eat a horse, this morning, I could throw up a horse. As I write this, the urge to run to the restroom yet again is hitting me.
Ok, back from the restroom 15 minutes after previous paragraph. All I can say is my baby is being mean. I get to the restroom and lean over the toilet, and then, all of a sudden, I don't feel like I have to throw up. But I threw up in my mouth again on the way to the restroom, so I feel awful. I decide, to get up form over the toilet and brush my teeth. I brush and then standing at the sink, I feel it, I am so going to throw up for real. I get to the toilet and I just can't do it. I am just spitting because I think the air just tastes so bad today. I don't know if any pregnant women have felt that way, but the stupid air is what is wrong with me.
Anyway, I went to bed last night fairly comfortably. I thought I might lay on my back to sleep last night since I have been practicing sleeping on my side and I feel miserable. It hurt my lower back so much and I had a little trouble breathing like that. That really scared me, but when I sat up, I was fine. I just nestled back on my side with a pillow between my legs and slept like "a baby". Then I woke up this morning and it is thunder storming like crazy. It was the perfect morning to sleep in. I love sleeping in rain and thunder. It kept the room so cool.
Also, one thing that has been bugging me is that I have to blow my nose every 2 minutes. Also, I got my first nosebleed in years.
Come on M&M, Mommy loves you, love me back. No matter what you do to me, I will always love you with all my heart, but you really don't have to test it.
Yayyy!!!!!!!
Posted Tuesday, July 22, 2008 10:58 AM
I caught up on blogs and my stomach has settled down. I got great advise from the first tri board to not take my pre-natal vitamins during the morning. Hopefully that will make me feel better.
Matt has a soccer game tonight. Last one, thank the Lord. He might end up skipping it though. We have to work on the apartment tonight, get it nice and clean. Afterwards, Matt wants to go out to eat. I have to return our rental movie as well. I am just ready to be done with our apartment.
We will be using the weekend to clean the rest of the apartment, spackle nail holes in the walls, touch up the paint and hopefully, turn in our keys. We better get our deposit back or I am going to be so ticked.
Definitely No Pre-Natals in the Morning
Posted Wednesday, July 23, 2008 8:41 AM
So I will take the vitamins at night now because I feel great this morning. I swear, I had to grasp my chest to make sure they still hurt so I knew I was still pregnant. Although, I know I am pregnant because I am so bloated, my nice gray dress pants feel like they are cutting me in half.
I just feel like someone could pop me right now. I am going to start back to better habits today. I am going to walk to the Arch today. That is a good mile of walking and I really think I need it. I will bring my yummy bottle of water today as well. The air tastes good today too. Not gross like yesterday.
I will avoid munchie day today at work, unless they have a veggie tray, then I might stop for some food. Veggies and only veggies. I have a turkey sandwich today for lunch. I hate that I had to use white bread. Now that I live with my parents, my mother said she will do the grocery shopping for us both, but she doesn't buy the things I like. I like 100% Whole Wheat. I think it tastes better.
I felt a teensy bit queezy in the car this morning, but after 2 saltines that I sucked the heck out of, I feel perfect. I am loving my little M&M soo much!!!
They poured the footings of my house on Monday and they pour the basement walls today!!!!!! I went over to the site yesterday after work and I stood in the soon to be basement under the second bedroom and told M&M that this was were his or her playroom would be and told him or her that I will be putting him or her to bed in a crib right upstairs. We totally had a moment :) !!!!!!
I got home from work and we decided to not do anything with the apartment and to put it off until today. I was taking a nap when Matt got home. He woke me up and handed me a letter, my Dr. registration papers came in, so I was excited. Then he laid in bed next to me and told me that he told his parents today. He was telling me about their reaction and how excited they are*!
I'm a Pregnant A-hole!
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 7:52 AM
I am an a-hole. The reason I say it, I was really tired and sore after doing major apartment cleaning yesterday. Matt and I decided to go to Applebees for dinner. There are about 10 spots close to the entrance, and tons of spots around back which are a good walking distance away. They are all full.
Matt and I get close to the door and there is a small car that has parked over the line and taken up 2 spots. I was so mad. Matt drove to the back of the parking lot and I started getting out a piece of paper. I had to write them a note. The note said, and by the way, completely false:
"Sorry I scratched your car. I tried to park in the spot next to you, but it was just too tight. I am not leaving my insurance information though, I think you had it coming. Your small car is taking up 2 spots. You should really be more courteous next time. I hope this makes you think about your actions from now on. Maybe the scratch will buff out.
Yours Truly,
The Pregnant Lady That Had To Walk From The Back Of The Parking Lot"
I really hope they took the time to look long and hard at their car that evening in the dark. They probably won't realize there isn't a scratch until today.
Yesterday at the end of work
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 8:30 AM
You could say I had a rough time.
The only other times I cried at work were times when my Grandpa was very ill and when he passed away. I was so scared back then and I am very scared and confused right now. I cried hard at work when I got off the phone with my Dr's office.
My friend loved her Dr. That is why I choose her. She delivers at St. Johns and my friend received excellent care. She told me that she went in to her 8 week appointment and didn't bring her husband, but then she got an ultrasound and was upset that she didn't know she was getting one and never asked her husband to come with her. I didn't want the same to happen to Matt and I.
I called the Dr's office and I asked if I would get an ultrsound? The lady said "No", she said," you will come in and get bloodwork, urine sample, and your belly will be measured. Then at your next appointment at 20 weeks, you will get your first and only ultrasound and get to hear the baby's heartbeat."
I just hung up. I couldn't think. I was so heartbroken. I can't believe this. I don't pay out of my earning to my insurance company to get the same care a crackhead gets at a freeclinic. I want an ultrsound at 9 weeks and 3 days when I come in. My friend works with me, she has the same insurance I do. I need to see my baby. I am entitled to it. I pay for this. My insurance is not the one saying no. Plus, not hearing the heartbeat until 20 weeks? and I am crying again. I can't go that long without hearing or seeing this little one. I need this.
No appointments for anything else until 20 weeks, this woman has to be joking right? No good Dr's office would do that? I need to know things are okay. And they won't be able to adjust my due date until then. I know I am not going to be that far along. So what happens if the schedule me at 20 weeks and it turns out I am only 17 or 18 and they can't determine the sex, am I SOL? Why are they doing this to me? I just feel so heartbroken. I need to know little M&M is okay.
My friend said that this woman isn't right and to call back. I felt so awful talking to my friend, she is about to pop and dealing with me crying my eyes out. I am going to call back today and I hope I don't have to talk to "Mary Jo". I need to talk to someone who is competent, not one of these night-school graduates that they advertise on corny late night infomercials.
I feel so sick right now. I had got over it when I got to the apartment to clean because I just burried myself in work until Matt got there, then I fell apart again and he held me and let me cry it out to him in the living room floor of our vacant apartment. I just need to know more, what if there is something that is wrong, that they would need to look into, they wouldn't know a thing. I am just so upset right now. I can't see straight. Anyway, I have meetings today, so I have to go reapply the makeup I just cried off.
Feedback Good!
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 1:25 PM
The Nurse called, I have an appointment tomorrow to get my bloodwork done. Then at my appointment on the 18th, they will schedule it to be a ultrasound and they said they will try to listen for the heartbeat. I am so excited now!!!!!!! This is much better.
I will schedule my appointments for 12, 16, 20, 26, 30, 33, and 36 weeks. This makes me feel so much better. The nurse said, "Ah, I will make sure to get our receptionist up to speed on our appointment schedule from now on."
Also, Matt and I have been doing belly pics. I can post them for sure, you can see my husbands sympathy weight photos too :) We figured we could put them side-by-side.
Belly Pics from M&Ms
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 10:43 PM
I had the request, so I'm showing them. To be honest, there is nothing yet. Someday soon, I will get a bump. I can't wait!!!!!!
Matt & Mandy 4w3d
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Matt & Mandy 5w5d
Posted Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5:29 PM
Matt doesn't know yet. I am so scared out of my mind right now.
First Thing We Did
Posted Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:58 PM
Matt called right when he was done with his exit assessment from STLC College. He told me how it went and he said he couldn't wait to get home.
I said hurry home, I have good news, and I said it completely calm. He said, "Are you pregnant?"
I said "Yes"
He was like, "Seriously?",
I was like, "Yes"
He said, "Swear?"
I said, "I swear"
He said "Swear to God?"
I said "I swear to God!"
He said, "I'm Gonna Be A Dad!"
Then I just cried. I am so happy right now. We went out and bought The pregnancy journal and Fatherhood by Bill Cosby. And We bought my sister a "World's Coolest Aunt" picture frame and we bought my Mom a birthday card that says "Happy Birthday to a Really Cool Grandma!" Then it has a big blank space on the front, Matt's going to use his artistic skills to draw a giant "SURPRISE" in that space. Her birthday is the 24th. It is going to be holy heck to wait that long.
I just want to tell everyone right now. The people who know in the correct order were: Julia and the rest of the Girls, My friend from work Cindy, Matt, and I have called my friend Elisa and am waiting for her to call me back. This will be hard to handle with the wedding. I hope that she is happy for me. I really love her. I truly do. I am protective of her and I feel like she is a sister to me. I still want to plan everything fun for her, and maybe I won't stay out late for the bachelorette party, but I can certainly be there for the dinner before it. Her friendship means so much to me and I am far more worried about her reaction than my parents'.
Matt and I are so happy, we have already started calling each other "Mommy and Daddy" I love this man so much. He asked me if I wanted to watch the movie "Once" with him tonight since he borrowed it from his friend, I said "No, I rented Drillbit Taylor and I want to watch it, and I am carrying your child, so what I say goes." He smiled and caved for tonight, I better not wear that excuse out too fast!!!!!
Not Only is He Happy!!!!!!!
Posted Wednesday, July 16, 2008 8:13 AM
I made a list of the people I want to tell. This is the list of people that I could share anything with. Although, nothing bad is going to happen to my little m&m that I would even need this list of people, so there. He or she is going to hang on and enjoy the ride.
Ok, so I have told Matt, my friend Cindy from work, my friend Elisa, then today, I will tell Karen, and I will tell my parents tonight. I am so excited. I want to be like Matthew McConaughey and be really stoked about this pregnancy and we can just talk about how truly awesome and bitchin' life is.
Anyway, I am so in love with the idea of being pregnant. It is not the most convenient time, but this is just perfect. My baby is a pleasant surprise.
Last night, Matt and I were in the middle of a movie and Elisa called. I was so nervous to tell her. She told the bridesmaids that she wouldn't want pregnant girls in her wedding. By the time of her wedding, I will be ready to pop. She was like, "Hey, heard your message, is everything okay?" I said, "Don't hate me, don't be upset with me." She said, "Can you not make it to the wedding?" I said,"I'm pregnant." She said something like, "Oh my Gosh, really, I am so excited for you, Congratulations!" Then she told me not to tell the other bridesmaids until I'm at 3 months or more because "Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean I am giving permission for the rest of the girls to get pregnant." I said, "Well, if they find out, just say that you like me better." She said, "Well, you are my Matron of Honor, so that kinda says it already." Then she told me, "I was at Hallmark a couple months ago and they put a bunch of stuff on clearance, and I figured you would have a baby sometime soon, so I bought this little Easter outfit. Don't worry, it is just little booties and a hat to make the baby look like a baby chick, so it would be cute on a boy or girl." I was like, "Aw, Aunt Elisa is already buying presents." Then I talked Wedding stuff with her.
After I got off the phone, Matt came in and hugged me. I was so relieved that I just cried my eyes out (Hormones!).
Last night, Matt made me go to bed early. He told me that he wants a strong healthy baby. Yesterday in the car, he said, "Driving with you in the car has never made me nervous, but I am terrified now." Then super early this morning, I woke up and shifted around. I accidentally woke him, and he hugged my back and put his hands on my tummy. He said in a groggy voice, and tickled my belly, "This will be more fun later." We fell back asleep, then the alarm went off early. He got me up, and was like, "I am making you a healthy breakfast." He set me out a bowl of cereal and he cut up bananas into it (like I love). Then he told me that I need to get used to some kind of dairy product to get our baby some calcium. I will need to talk to my doctor. I am lactose intolerant to a degree. I can eat a bit of ice cream, and a little bit of cheese, but not much. I am so jealous of people who can just drink a glass of 2% milk.
And I almost forgot to mention the very best part. I was straightening my hair this morning and Matt and I really hadn't said much this morning, but he came in and said, "Breakfast is ready Mommy." I just love it. Life is Just So Good. I love my little m&m.
Hold On To Me Tight M&M
Posted Thursday, July 17, 2008 8:08 AM
Because everyone knows about you now. I told my parents last night. They laughed, they cried, they flipped me off. Seriously, they did. I was trying to think of a cool way to tell them, so I did the card, but I wrote on the front of the envelope, Happy Early Birthday Mom! She couldn't get the card out of the envelope, so Matt said, "You want some help?" Then she flipped us both off. So as she was "pointing" at me, I pointed to the card, she read it, and my Dad read it over her shoulder. He started smiling and jumped up and hugged me. My Mom hugged me too. Then they hugged Matt and said congratulations.
We sat down for dinner and my sister wanted to sit next to me. I said it was fine, and my Mom said, "Obviously Matt has been sitting a little to close to her."
Anyway, my sister asked me, did the Dr. tell you that you were pregnant? I said "No, there are tests that you do at home." She, being the "Kids Say The Darndest Things" 11 year old, she is, said, "A test? Well I guess you passed it then!" I was like, "Yeah, I guess I did."
My parents have told everyone and I mean everyone. 5 people knew by this time yesterday. With my parents on the scoop, easily, 10 times that number know. I am a bit worried. I told them, it is really early, I just want to make sure everything is good. I have to go to the Dr. still.
We told the couple who are helping us move on Saturday, I figure they will need to know so they don't think I am just being lazy by not carrying the heavy stuff. We went to their house last night. They invited us over to play RockBand and when we told them, Matt's good friend Chris was so happy. He practically bounced. He smiled at us the whole night. They have a little girl who will be 3 next January. He is very excited for us. His wife went into work mode, she grabbed a step ladder and started pulling down books. We have a pregnancy and new baby library now. Literally, we stepped away with 10 new books.
I am quickly falling head over heals in love with the idea of a baby inside me. I have already been talking to my little M&M. I just want this baby to grow strong and healthy. I don't care about anything else, I just want this baby to be alright. I am so scared that he or she can still be taken away from me. All signs are good though. I have not had any spotting at all, but I have had pregnancy symptoms which means that I know my hormones are changing. I am just praying for morning sickness and every other annoyance of pregnancy just to remind me that my baby is inside me, growing.
I hope so much that my little m&m is healthy. I want to lay down when I get home tonight and take a healthy nap. I know I have to do some cleaning, but I am not going to overdo it when it comes to Matt's brother visiting.
I need to look into my maternity care options. I need to look into whether I want to keep my Dr.which I hope I can. I need a doctor who delivers at St. Johns. In St. Louis, you have many hospitals, but St. Johns is the best.
I am so scared right now. I want to hear a heartbeat so badly. I think it will make me either cry or giggle, maybe both. I giggled the whole way down the aisle at my wedding. And I giggled during the ceremony. My preacher said that I was the only person he ever saw react that way. I was just so happy on the day I married Matt. I cried when Matt proposed and I can prove it, there was a photographer taking pictures of the glass who saw us and took a bunch of pictures, he has a gallery online: http://www.pbase.com/ninecount/engagement If you choose to look, I think you can see how happy I am.
I just don't know what this will do to me. I am just so happy that this is happening. I never want this happiness to go away. Please stay my little m&m. If you are a girl, your Daddy wants to name you Sophie Jillian. Mommy wants to name you Ava, but she will go with Sophie if Daddy wants it bad enough.
I Had a Bad Evening
Posted Friday, July 18, 2008 10:26 AM
Hey M&M, sorry Mommy freaked out some last night. I tried to pack a little bit last night, and I wasn't packing any of the boxes heavy, but I started to scare myself. I have been told not to lift anything heavy, and I totally agree, but I am worried, what if I lifted something too heavy. I freaked myself out and jumped in bed for an early night at 8:30. I was surprised at how well I went right to sleep. For some reason, I can only sleep on my side or my stomach. And it totally freaks me out to sleep on my tummy. When I sleep on my back, my back hurts so bad. Any other way, I am fine.
However, nightmares and sickness set in last night. I tossed and turned all night. Matt was out with his brother til 1:30 am, so I didn't have his comfort until then. But at about 11, I woke up from a nightmare that just terrified me. I dreamt that I wasn't pregnant. I mention the baby to Matt and he said, "Mandy, you were never pregnant." I woke up and I was just so scared. I ran to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test again. I didn't have any spotting, and I got some very bright pink lines. I was never so happy. I swear I am going to drive myself crazy.
My tummy was very upset last night and I had heartburn something fierce. I just couldn't get back to sleep very well. I finally just dozed off and Matt gets home and crawls in bed with me. I was kinda frustrated. I have wanted to have the opportunity to crawl in bed with him and talk before we go to sleep, but we have been so busy and he has been staying up late to finish his workouts and read baby books.
As adorable as I think my husband is, I think I really need this sweet time before bed. I asked him this morning if we were going to have alone time together today. He said, "We can, Why?" I said, I need to talk about some baby and us stuff.
Through the sickness and overall yucky feelings, I do feel closer to Matt than I have ever felt before. For the first time in my life, I feel like I absolutely need him.
I love the idea that our little M&M is growing like the day by day growth chart. I did my math, and I realized that my due date is March 20th. I have my first appointment on July 30th at 8:15 am. I am just so nervous. I found out that this Dr. doesn't deliver where I want to go, so I am going to try to get accepted at my friend Karen's OBGYN. I talked with my supervisor today and we are going to meet later and discuss the time off policy and everything.
Oh my gosh, what a day. I would say thank goodness it is Friday, I can relax and sleep the weekend away, but there is just way to much to do. I am so going to take a lunch nap today.
Only the Best For My M&M
Posted Friday, July 18, 2008 3:17 PM
I already cancelled my first Dr. appointment and switched Doctors. I want a Dr who will deliver in the hospital I want, so I now have Dr Renee Stein (my friend Karen's Dr). I link to her webpage. If you look, all I have to say is, "How freakin cute is my Dr!?!" Sorry Dr Clancy, but I am going with Renee. She is closer to my parent's place, where we will be living for awhile. It is closer to the home we are building and I get the hospital I really want.
My supervisor is going to go over all the maternity leave stuff with me which shouldn't be a problem because a girl on my team had a baby 2 weeks ago so he knows exactly what the policies are. Yay!!!
And I feel like I am a total scatter-brain. I was telling the Dr my birthday, and I gave the wrong date. I was telling her my social and I accidentally gave her the last 4 digits of my husband's cell phone number. I am now thinking crap, I was supposed to be calling bill companies and telling them about my address change. I never want to move again. Ever!!!! Definitely not after I find out I am pregnant!
My mother told me today, "You will do anything to get out of moving." When we moved into the apartment, I fell down the stairs and twisted my ankle. I couldn't help then, now I can't help because of M&M. I want to help move. I don't trust other people to have their paws in my things. It doesn't matter if they are friends or family. I don't like feeling so helpless. I can't lift anything heavy.
I just want my little M&M to be old enough to where I can hear his or her heartbeat. Julia's blog has made me nuts today. I want to hear little M&Ms heartbeat more than anything right now. I am just not patient enough for pregnancy.
I don't want to go to the bachi ball party tonight. It doesn't sound like fun. There will be drinking and smoking. I hate smoke. And I can't drink, so I know I am going to come across as a stick in the mud. I hate that Matt's friends have silly parties. I don't want to go to a bachi ball party, a "The Whitest Kids You Know" party, or a LAN party. I am done with SILLY parties! Dangit, I just don't see why Matt 's friends can't play cards or drinking games or play anything but bachi ball.
Busy, Busy, Busy
Posted Sunday, July 20, 2008 2:20 PM
Ok, so yesterday was our moving day. We got mostly everything packed. Matt and I woke up at 7 and he started loading my car with fragile boxes while I went to get breakfast. For some reason, walking to the back of the super grocery store completely exhausted me. I went to the back to get donuts. When I got there, it was disgusting, there were flies in the donut case. I decided to walk over and get cream cheese which was on the other side of the store. Then I walked to an opposite corner for bagels. By the time I made it to the checkout counter, I felt like I needed a nap.
But you see, the night before, I went to Matt's friend's party. It was okay, except that I ate a burger and grilled veggies with some wheat chips and mango salsa and spent half the evening throwing it up. I tried to hold back, but it just wasn't happening. Sorry M&M, Mommy will not eat Mango salsa until you are born, and after tasting it coming up, maybe I will just never eat it again. Matt left the party early and went to get some saltines. I got back to the party and sat in the floor. This little girl was there, she was almost 2, and her name is Lily. I thought she was adorable.
At Matt's friend's place, they have this orange deco spinning chair, and Lily and I played on it for a couple hours and we shared my saltines. She was a doll, and I am so happy I got to hang out with her, but I got very tired while trying to keep up.
Anyway, back to the grocery store, I bought breakfast for all our movers and Matt calls me as I am getting in the car and said, don't forget juice and chocolate milk. I said nope, they can drink water and I came home.
Matt went to get the truck. We ordered a 17 ft truck and only got a 14 ft truck. We fit mostly everything in it.
Luckily, a friend of ours drove his pickup and got the last couple of pieces. Matt's friend Chris was so great. I was bummed that his wife and their daughter weren't able to come over. But anyway, we had emptied all the drawers to my dresser except for one, which we kinda forgot about. That was, the BC drawer. Chris opened it, and said, well if you have this drawer, I have no idea how you got pregnant. Matt blushed and I said, "Well Chris, we obviously didn't open it as much as we should have." (Sorry M&M, Mommy and Daddy are very happy that we made you.)
There are only a couple things left in the apartment now. We left all our stuff to clean up, one rental movie from the place nearby, and also, a bunch of extra boxes that we have decided to keep because we don't know how fast we will accumulate baby stuff while we live at my Mom and Dad's place.
Last night, Matt and I were home alone in the house. We ended up just cuddling. Matt and I slept in and wondered when his brother would talk to us because he didn't show up last night. He eventually called us and he wants us to meet him at the Art Museum. I don't want to go do this. If he would have said, lets go to the zoo, I would have been okay with it, still a lot of walking, but I could get some enjoyment out of it. Really, the art museum out here is something you only need to see once every 10 years or so. I saw it last winter. BIL can go. Matt and I are sore and tired from moving yesterday.
Towards the end of yesterday, Matt was still working at getting boxes stacked downstairs and I wanted to help. He was like, "No, you have worked hard enough today." I was like, I have barely worked, and he said stuff that was so cute. He was like, "Come on, you are constantly working. You have been doing nothing but working. You are making a baby, I can't imagine how hard that is. You just sit right there and keep up the good work." I just wanted to say, "Stop it and let me help a little", but Matt is very stubborn and I guess, so am I.
Oh well, that is about everything. Other than the fact that I have been doing something that I guess is silly. I know I am just a bit over 4 weeks, but I have been talking to my M&M. I am so excited. I have a book that chronicles the daily changes in baby. I read it outloud to M&M. I am finding it so fascinating. Also, I read Matt the short synopsis right before we go to sleep. He thinks it is cool, what all is happening inside me. He told me I am amazing. I asked him why, and he said, "Because you are, and you are extra amazing because you have my baby in your tummy."
Also, my sister and Mom and Dad were out of town when we moved in. They will be back tonight. I talked to my sister on the phone and with only competing 2 events in her competition this weekend, she took 2 first place finishes. I was saying congrats over the phone and she said, "Are you coming over tonight?" I said "Kiddo, I live here now." She said, "Oh yeah! Hey, how big are you now?" I said "Still the same size kiddo." I heard my Mom laughing in the background.
It was a busy weekend. I am happy that right now, I am just relaxing and looking back on it all. I am wearing my bathing suit, admiring the last of my flatter tummy and thinking about my Walmart shopping list. I am going to buy a raft and spend all my evenings this week (including tonight, lounging in my Mom and Dad's pool. Next weekend, Matt and I leave for Omaha. This has been a crazy whirlwind of a week. I hope that the weekend after next is just nice and calm. M&M and I need a break.
Birthday Buddies
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 7:53 AM
With my due date on March 20th, Matt is really wanting me to have the baby 6 days early. He wants me to deliver on his birthday. His Grandpa was born March 14th, he was born March 14th, and Matt wants his first baby to be born on March 14th. I told him I would try my best. If that is the case, it would be great. I could have our baby, make Matt extremely happy and have 2 weeks recovery and weight loss until I had to stand up in Elisa's wedding. It is wishful thinking I know, but it could happen :)
Also, according to the little ticker I made on Lilypie.com, I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Jeesh, already over a month, it just seems crazy. Already less than 8 months to go.
Open Mouth, Insert Foot- Ode to Matt's Friends
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 10:23 AM
Ok, so Friday, I went to Matt's friend's Party. I like this girl, she is a really sweet. In fact, most of Matt's friends are really great. Always willing to lend a hand, always polite and funny.
However, there are a few I dislike. There is one who likes to color on herself. She puts her hair into as many ponytails as she can. I think she always smells bad. She looks alot like a ferret and I think she has a bad attitude. I remember being in a group of Matt's friends and they were trying to sugarcoat it. they were saying things like, "Yeah, she is just different." "She has her own way of doing things." "She is very independent." "I have trouble telling if she likes me, but that is just her personality." "It took a while for me to warm up to her." I said, "Wow, you all have a lot of ways to tiptoe around the fact that she's a b!tch."
Then there is another one of his friends that drives me crazy. The last party he had, he ended up telling all of us to F*** off then flipping us off while he left early. However, he has his moments where he can hang very well, with exception to one 20 minute long conversation about petrified wood. He had a vasectomy when he was 19 years old because he believes that it is cruel to bring children into a world that is full of violence and hate. He is a big pessimist. Anyway, this cute little baby was at the party on Friday and she was by far the best entertainment of the night. After she went to bed, Matt and I were sitting on the porch talking with her parents about what a doll she was and this friend says, "Don't even think of having kids, they will ruin your life." We didn't want to flat out say, we are pregnant, but at the same time, I didn't like sitting there and listening to him tell me that I was carrying a parasite that would help kill our planet either.
Eating for 2
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 12:50 PM
Ok, so I feel really bad about this and hope this isn't a consistent pattern, but I feel like I could eat a horse today. I had a bowl of cereal this morning at 5. I had 4 fat free fig newton cookies at about 8. At 10:30, I ate my lunch, which was a bagel sandwich. So hear it is, Noon, and I just asked a friend to go to lunch with me. I need the food. Dangit I am going to have a lot of weight to lose. I really hope my baby can breast feed, because once this is over, I am going to need some serious help shedding the lbs.
Want to read blogs.
Posted Monday, July 21, 2008 4:09 PM
I have tried to read people's blogs, but I am so tired. I am almost afraid I am going to pass out and hit my head on my keyboard. My belly is full and M&M is using up that energy. I have determined that our little M&M thinks I am a stay-at-home mommy who has time for naps. No, no baby. Mommy has to work until we win the lottery, then I would love to stay at home with you and sleep all day.
Mommy and Daddy are full time students, we are full time employees, we are building a house and we are making a fuss about you, M&M. Do whatever you can to be comfortable, but if Mommy could have her 9 hours at work, she promises to nap on the car-ride home.
I need to start exercising more. Maybe getting into a very light fitness routine will help me. Usually I walk, but today it is 98 degrees outside and I don't want to walk in that heat. I want to do pregnancy yoga. I just wish I had my Dr.'s appointment soon so I can know that there is no risk to my little baby leaving me.
All I can say is, M&M, I hope you give Mommy a little break when she gets home. I hope daddy is in a good mood and I hope so much that you let me sleep well tonight without being rigged up in pillows. And tomorrow, I hope that you let me stay awake enough to let me catch up on reading the blogs. I have posted a lot today, but it is all a ploy to keep me awake.
Morning Sickness
Posted Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:21 AM
I was beginning to think that all the other pregnant women in the world were putting on a bit. I was queazy, but nothing too bad, until this morning. An hour drive to work and I threw up in my mouth 3 times. It made me want to lose it that much more. Mark this day, this is the first time I have seriously disliked pregnancy.
Holden or Sophie is trying to kill Mommy. Yesterday I could eat a horse, this morning, I could throw up a horse. As I write this, the urge to run to the restroom yet again is hitting me.
Ok, back from the restroom 15 minutes after previous paragraph. All I can say is my baby is being mean. I get to the restroom and lean over the toilet, and then, all of a sudden, I don't feel like I have to throw up. But I threw up in my mouth again on the way to the restroom, so I feel awful. I decide, to get up form over the toilet and brush my teeth. I brush and then standing at the sink, I feel it, I am so going to throw up for real. I get to the toilet and I just can't do it. I am just spitting because I think the air just tastes so bad today. I don't know if any pregnant women have felt that way, but the stupid air is what is wrong with me.
Anyway, I went to bed last night fairly comfortably. I thought I might lay on my back to sleep last night since I have been practicing sleeping on my side and I feel miserable. It hurt my lower back so much and I had a little trouble breathing like that. That really scared me, but when I sat up, I was fine. I just nestled back on my side with a pillow between my legs and slept like "a baby". Then I woke up this morning and it is thunder storming like crazy. It was the perfect morning to sleep in. I love sleeping in rain and thunder. It kept the room so cool.
Also, one thing that has been bugging me is that I have to blow my nose every 2 minutes. Also, I got my first nosebleed in years.
Come on M&M, Mommy loves you, love me back. No matter what you do to me, I will always love you with all my heart, but you really don't have to test it.
Yayyy!!!!!!!
Posted Tuesday, July 22, 2008 10:58 AM
I caught up on blogs and my stomach has settled down. I got great advise from the first tri board to not take my pre-natal vitamins during the morning. Hopefully that will make me feel better.
Matt has a soccer game tonight. Last one, thank the Lord. He might end up skipping it though. We have to work on the apartment tonight, get it nice and clean. Afterwards, Matt wants to go out to eat. I have to return our rental movie as well. I am just ready to be done with our apartment.
We will be using the weekend to clean the rest of the apartment, spackle nail holes in the walls, touch up the paint and hopefully, turn in our keys. We better get our deposit back or I am going to be so ticked.
Definitely No Pre-Natals in the Morning
Posted Wednesday, July 23, 2008 8:41 AM
So I will take the vitamins at night now because I feel great this morning. I swear, I had to grasp my chest to make sure they still hurt so I knew I was still pregnant. Although, I know I am pregnant because I am so bloated, my nice gray dress pants feel like they are cutting me in half.
I just feel like someone could pop me right now. I am going to start back to better habits today. I am going to walk to the Arch today. That is a good mile of walking and I really think I need it. I will bring my yummy bottle of water today as well. The air tastes good today too. Not gross like yesterday.
I will avoid munchie day today at work, unless they have a veggie tray, then I might stop for some food. Veggies and only veggies. I have a turkey sandwich today for lunch. I hate that I had to use white bread. Now that I live with my parents, my mother said she will do the grocery shopping for us both, but she doesn't buy the things I like. I like 100% Whole Wheat. I think it tastes better.
I felt a teensy bit queezy in the car this morning, but after 2 saltines that I sucked the heck out of, I feel perfect. I am loving my little M&M soo much!!!
They poured the footings of my house on Monday and they pour the basement walls today!!!!!! I went over to the site yesterday after work and I stood in the soon to be basement under the second bedroom and told M&M that this was were his or her playroom would be and told him or her that I will be putting him or her to bed in a crib right upstairs. We totally had a moment :) !!!!!!
I got home from work and we decided to not do anything with the apartment and to put it off until today. I was taking a nap when Matt got home. He woke me up and handed me a letter, my Dr. registration papers came in, so I was excited. Then he laid in bed next to me and told me that he told his parents today. He was telling me about their reaction and how excited they are*!
I'm a Pregnant A-hole!
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 7:52 AM
I am an a-hole. The reason I say it, I was really tired and sore after doing major apartment cleaning yesterday. Matt and I decided to go to Applebees for dinner. There are about 10 spots close to the entrance, and tons of spots around back which are a good walking distance away. They are all full.
Matt and I get close to the door and there is a small car that has parked over the line and taken up 2 spots. I was so mad. Matt drove to the back of the parking lot and I started getting out a piece of paper. I had to write them a note. The note said, and by the way, completely false:
"Sorry I scratched your car. I tried to park in the spot next to you, but it was just too tight. I am not leaving my insurance information though, I think you had it coming. Your small car is taking up 2 spots. You should really be more courteous next time. I hope this makes you think about your actions from now on. Maybe the scratch will buff out.
Yours Truly,
The Pregnant Lady That Had To Walk From The Back Of The Parking Lot"
I really hope they took the time to look long and hard at their car that evening in the dark. They probably won't realize there isn't a scratch until today.
Yesterday at the end of work
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 8:30 AM
You could say I had a rough time.
The only other times I cried at work were times when my Grandpa was very ill and when he passed away. I was so scared back then and I am very scared and confused right now. I cried hard at work when I got off the phone with my Dr's office.
My friend loved her Dr. That is why I choose her. She delivers at St. Johns and my friend received excellent care. She told me that she went in to her 8 week appointment and didn't bring her husband, but then she got an ultrasound and was upset that she didn't know she was getting one and never asked her husband to come with her. I didn't want the same to happen to Matt and I.
I called the Dr's office and I asked if I would get an ultrsound? The lady said "No", she said," you will come in and get bloodwork, urine sample, and your belly will be measured. Then at your next appointment at 20 weeks, you will get your first and only ultrasound and get to hear the baby's heartbeat."
I just hung up. I couldn't think. I was so heartbroken. I can't believe this. I don't pay out of my earning to my insurance company to get the same care a crackhead gets at a freeclinic. I want an ultrsound at 9 weeks and 3 days when I come in. My friend works with me, she has the same insurance I do. I need to see my baby. I am entitled to it. I pay for this. My insurance is not the one saying no. Plus, not hearing the heartbeat until 20 weeks? and I am crying again. I can't go that long without hearing or seeing this little one. I need this.
No appointments for anything else until 20 weeks, this woman has to be joking right? No good Dr's office would do that? I need to know things are okay. And they won't be able to adjust my due date until then. I know I am not going to be that far along. So what happens if the schedule me at 20 weeks and it turns out I am only 17 or 18 and they can't determine the sex, am I SOL? Why are they doing this to me? I just feel so heartbroken. I need to know little M&M is okay.
My friend said that this woman isn't right and to call back. I felt so awful talking to my friend, she is about to pop and dealing with me crying my eyes out. I am going to call back today and I hope I don't have to talk to "Mary Jo". I need to talk to someone who is competent, not one of these night-school graduates that they advertise on corny late night infomercials.
I feel so sick right now. I had got over it when I got to the apartment to clean because I just burried myself in work until Matt got there, then I fell apart again and he held me and let me cry it out to him in the living room floor of our vacant apartment. I just need to know more, what if there is something that is wrong, that they would need to look into, they wouldn't know a thing. I am just so upset right now. I can't see straight. Anyway, I have meetings today, so I have to go reapply the makeup I just cried off.
Feedback Good!
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 1:25 PM
The Nurse called, I have an appointment tomorrow to get my bloodwork done. Then at my appointment on the 18th, they will schedule it to be a ultrasound and they said they will try to listen for the heartbeat. I am so excited now!!!!!!! This is much better.
I will schedule my appointments for 12, 16, 20, 26, 30, 33, and 36 weeks. This makes me feel so much better. The nurse said, "Ah, I will make sure to get our receptionist up to speed on our appointment schedule from now on."
Also, Matt and I have been doing belly pics. I can post them for sure, you can see my husbands sympathy weight photos too :) We figured we could put them side-by-side.
Belly Pics from M&Ms
Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008 10:43 PM
I had the request, so I'm showing them. To be honest, there is nothing yet. Someday soon, I will get a bump. I can't wait!!!!!!
Matt & Mandy 4w3d
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Matt & Mandy 5w5d
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