Starting to Show!

Twin Belly
Posted Sunday, September 07, 2008 10:32 PM

I haven't taken a pic of mine and Matt's bellies in awhile. I swear, I am such a slacker.
12w2d belly pics

Feeling Rusty
Posted Monday, September 08, 2008 7:06 AM

I'm feeling rusty at this whole blog thing. Don't ever let me take a break that long again! (with exception to giving birth and trying to raise 2 little babies)
I am dedicating this blog to catching up. The house has been flying for the last month and now, not at all. I know they say that all the little stuff seems to take forever, but I have been looking for new things to happen. I get super excited about all of it. I get excited when I see water lines and wires. I just want something new done, they have been ready to do duct work for the longest time. Put it in already!!! Also, they did my brick wrong. Matt and I choose the option to have brick run up almost the entire front of the house. They ran it sil high and put the darn sil on it. I was like, "Uh, What, No, No, No!!!!!!!!!!!" It is frustrating because I think it looks cheap like that and when Matt and I go to visit, I tell all the neighbors that it is a screw-up and that it will look so much better than that. I think they are relieved.
And the house next door is being built and they have done the funniest things with the same model house that Matt and I are building and it looks odd. Matt and I occasionally walk through theirs and talk about how happy we are that we did everything in our house. Different strokes for different folks.

Maternity Clothes and Baby Stuff
Posted Monday, September 08, 2008 9:50 AM

I have bought the cutest Maternity Tops. I went to JC Penneys on Saturday to look in their section. Maternity consisted of 2 racks. I think I bought one of everything they had available, but then I decided to go to Kohls. I'm so happy I did.
Kohls had so much on clearance. I loved a ton of their tops. I decided that because you never know what something really costs there, I would bring some outrageously priced items up to the register to see if they were for sale. I got the cutest little plaid top I am wearing next weekend to go apple-picking for mine and Matt's 1 year Anniversary. It was marked at 59.99 and I got it for 13 bucks. Then I bought 2 dresses. Each was marked at 79.99 and I got them for 20 each. Those were my best deals, but one thing I thought was awesome was I got part of my Halloween costume.
I am going as Juno. I got the ugly striped shirt and a really grungy awful zipper-jacket. All I need is a tweed skirt to wear over my jeans and a slurpy and I am set. Also, Matt is going to dress up as my track star.
Also, I cannot stand not knowing what I am having. While I was looking for maternity clothes, I had to look at the baby stuff. I just want to know, pink or blue? They had the cutest little Baby's First Christmas outfits. There were also tons of Christmas dresses out. I swear, my mother had to pry the dresses out of my hands. I want at least one baby girl to dress up. But also, there was a little boy outfit for Christmas that was so cute. It was a little elf costume. I was about to melt from how much cuteness was surrounding me.
Matt told me he really hopes they are a boy and a girl. He said he wants the best of both worlds. I think I am okay with whatever, just as long as I can find out soon and start buying some freakin adorable baby stuff!

PICA
Posted Monday, September 08, 2008 8:45 P

As for a quick update on something a little strange. I had a big baked potato with chili and cheese today for dinner. It was good and I was able to stomach it, no sickness yet (crossed fingers). However, I have been having a craving/non-craving. It is almost like I want chocolate, but at the same time, anything creamy tasting sounds horrible.
Anyway, you've heard of PICA? Those are the extremly weird and NOT GOOD cravings that women who are in a family way sometimes get. My mother had them with me and my sister. She would crave dish soap and formula. These are abnormal and usually mean you are lacking in a certain vitamin.
Today after my shower, I was blow-drying my hair and thought, Matt has his old cocoa butter in here from when he was gaining weight and got a couple stretchmarks on his love handles (he'd hate me for sharing that). I decided to use his since it was in the room with me. His cocoa butter smells so much better than my Palmers that I use. I was slathering up and I thought, "This stuff smells like chocolate, I wonder if it tastes like chocolate." Common sense-wise, a high school and college diploma tell me that it will taste like lotion and not to even think about tasting it, but I let my imagination run wild.
I expected to be overcome with a wave of euphoria as the yummy cocoa sensation danced across my tastebuds, but alas, it tasted like lotion and the tip of my tongue feels slimy and slippery. This is really Blah, but at least I smell awesome. I am afraid to put on my coconut scented deoderant in fear that I might have to lick that too. Just kidding! Yuck!!!!

Sick As A Dog!
Posted Wednesday, September 10, 2008 10:27 AM

So I am taking a sick day because I can't even keep down my anti-nausea meds. Great! :( Yesterday, I took a half sickday in the PM. I took a nap and woke up with a rash all over my neck and upper chest. I am miserable. I just itch and itch. I crashed my Dr office.
I had called them and they said a nurse would get back to me. I decided to get in the car and drive 45 minutes to the office. When I got there, I went to the window and said, a nurse is supposed to call me, but it is a lot easier to show a rash than describe it on the phone.
They said it was nothing uncommon, but gave me a cream. I'm glad I wasn't dying. Not sure I could have waited 45 minutes for a call-back.
Anyway, I am itchy and miserable and vomitting. Matt just looks at me with this confused wonder. He doesn't know what to do to make me feel better. He brought me home hot chocolate and a hershey bar since he knew I was craving chocolate. He also picked up my meds. He is sweet, even though I couldn't eat any of it.
I was laying in bed last night with my stomach hurting. He just scratched my head and read to me out of the baby development book. I usually read it to him but we have gotten behind. He caught us up. Now that my tummy is even bigger, he has been talking to it more. He likes to kiss all over my belly. It is really cute, but sometimes I just get so hot and uncomfortable I feel bad that I just want him to back off. I never tell him to though. He loves, loving on the babies in my belly and will never discourage it.

Going Through The Motions
Posted Thursday, September 11, 2008 9:24 AM

September 11th is one of those days where everything just feels a bit numb. I came to work this morning. I didn't feel like coming in because of the morning sickness, but I feel that it would be a bit disrespectful to act like a baby today.
Sure, I am queezy, and if I throw up, then so be it. It is hard to feel sorry for yourself when you walk past the memorial in my building where people are standing around crying.
I don't live in New York. I didn't know anyone who was killed. I just feel for those who lost so much. Things have been so somber today. This has been worse than last year. Last year, I was so caught up in planning for a wedding that was 4 days away, I barely noticed. I wasn't at work. I was curling ribbon on my programs and I was dealing with last minute preparations.
This year I came in and the man who sits in the cubby behind me was crying on the phone. He evidentally was someone who helped at ground zero. He recapped the event and was talking about how the rubble was almost 20 stories high and on fire.
I hate seeing people cry. Especially now that I am pregnant, I can't hold it together anymore. Plus, the man who helped is about 6 and 1/2 feet tall. He has a giant belly, a big bushy beard and he is always smiling and asking, "How ya doin!?!" He is a giant Teddy Bear of a man and it breaks your heart to walk by and see him hiding his face.
So today is just a little unreal. It always is. I commented in Dangeruss and Mitten's Blog that the pain I felt on that day and the year after has dulled over time, but as it dulls, I haven't replaced it with anything else. I feel like a walking zombie who shows no emotion. I don't want to talk about the attacks. I don't want to think about the attacks. At least, not until I can have the privacy of my own room and the comfort of my husband.

Ghosthunters
Posted Thursday, September 11, 2008 1:13 PM

My carpoolers and I all watch Ghosthunters on the Sci-fi Channel. Make fun of me if you want to, but I didn't believe in ghosts before, now I wish I still didn't. That show creeps the heck out of me, even when the ghosts are friendly.
Anyway, my carpooler mentions this morning that his son has been scaring the crap out of him. His son is 4 years old. He is an adorable little boy. My carpooler has always talked about how imaginative he is and that he has always just carried on long conversations with imaginary friends.
He said he was out at a practice with his older son yesterday and his wife called him freaking out. They don't let their son watch Ghosthunters, but they had a total Ghosthunter moment. His wife said, He was in a bath and he was talking to someone named Josh. His Mom said, Who is Josh? He told her, he is one of the people waiting in line. She said, waiting in line for what? He said, Waiting in line to get to heaven.
She said it just gave her chills. It gave me chills. My carpooler said that his son's bedroom lights have been flickering alot lately and his ocelating fan will turn on by itself.
Isn't that freaky stuff? I know my Grandma told me that when my Mom was little, she was playing in the living room with the door open and she told my Grandma, "Tell that man to stop staring at me." My Grandma was like, "What?" And my Mom pointed at the door and said, "That man." My Grandma said she ran to the door and slammed it shut. She said there was no man anywhere to be seen.
I am hoping that when I have kids, that they don't do something like that to scare the crap out of me. I don't know if I believe in ghosts. There is a part of me that doesn't want to. I just want loved ones to move on to Heaven, not sit around and wait.

My First Anniversary
Posted Monday, September 15, 2008 7:54 AM

Today is mine and Matt's first year anniversary. Today I am also officially 13w3d, which is 1/3rd of a normal pregnancy. So I am officially 2nd trimester and officially 1 year married. It feels nice.
I am really going to miss Matt today. We thought we'd get to spend all last weekend doing fun stuff to celebrate, but all our plans pretty much fell through. On Friday night, we were supposed to go to dinner, but when Matt got home, it was pretty late. I rented us a movie, but we ended up not watching. He also is way into the gift I gave him. I bought him Metallica tickets for November 17th (2 days before my birthday). The package I bought had really great seats, a download of the concert, and I got their newly released CD before it dropped. I gave Matt the CD and it has made him want to start playing again.
While Matt played guitar on Friday night, I watched a horror movie with my Mom. Well, we kinda watched the first 5 minutes and fell asleep, then we woke up about 5 minutes from the end. It was just soooo bad. The Last Winter is a horror movie about how we should not be drilling for oil in Alaskan Wildlife Reserves. Although surprisingly relevant to the times, it was a total snoozefest. Now, I don't know how many of you watch crappy B-movies, but I get a kick out of them every now and then. I love the movie Tremors 2. Well, the monsters in The Last Winter had the heads of the monsters in Tremors 2, but they had big dinosaur bodies and they were kinda see-through. Basically, the just of the movie was, if we contribute to Global Warming and drill in Alaska, ugly dinosaurs will eat us all. It was the best nap I've had in quite some time, but I still have to say, DON'T watch it, DON'T rent it, and if someone buys it for you as a gift, THROW IT AT THEM, DON'T say thank you.
Anyway, I went to bed while Matt played guitar. Then on Saturday we were supposed to clean the house, pick out our lighting, and put in our final order on appliances. We only cleaned the house. But I will say, I didn't mind. We were lazy butts, we just slept in and chit-chatted in bed. I scratched Matt's back for awhile, and when I was doing it, I realized that my finger was kinda reddish. My wedding ring just barely came off. I feel so sad now. For my first anniversary today, I can't even wear my ring. Everytime I look at my hand and see it not there, my heart skips a beat and then I remember, it is home in the jewelry box.
Matt has been trying to think of the perfect gift to give me, but can't figure one out. I gave him so many suggestions. I really wish he would listen to me. I gave him 4 choices. I either want to go buy a comforter set for the second bedroom in the new house because I hate the one that we put on it now. It is my old one from when I was in community college. I told him I would take a cheap costume replacement ring since mine doesn't fit anymore. I told him I would really like a rug to go under the kitchen table for the new house. And last, the other thing I suggested was he go with me and pick out a 2nd bathroom set. I kept the second set of toothbrush holders and soap dispensers we got at the wedding shower, but I need another shower curtain, set of hooks, and set of decorative towels. He thinks he would be an awful husband if he were to get me any of that. I rather like domestic gifts. For the last couple years, my mother knows that to make me happy, just take me to Garden Ridge and let me pick out some cool stuff.
So on Saturday, we went out to dinner, but I forgot my zofran. I couldn't eat anything, and I even had to make Matt pull over to let me throw up a couple times. I felt horrible, but he brought me home and we watched an awesome movie in bed. Street Kings wasn't what I expected, but it was great. I recommend it.
Sunday, we were going to figure out what to buy me, but we ended up watching the episode of Bill Marr that I had recorded, and then watching True Blood which I also had Tivo'd. True Blood is so cool.
Anyway, long blog, no purpose, just going to get back to work now. I will update you all tomorrow on whether the top layer of my wedding cake tasted like crap, and I will let you know the health of the babies because I go for an ultrasound with my Mom tomorrow. I wish Matt could go, but he is trying to leave his work on good terms, so he is definitely not going to be at the appointment. It is a total shame. He has been all about my tummy lately. I know he would love to see the babies kick around and do some cartwheels. And it sucks that Matt has school tonight, but at around 10pm tonight, I get to be with my hubby to celebrate the one year anniversary of one of the best days of my life.

13w4d Ultrasound!
Posted Tuesday, September 16, 2008 12:31 PM

I went to my ultrasound and both babies are 3 ounces. Baby A is in the 50th percentile with growth and has a heartbeat of 160. Then with Baby B, the growth is in 38th percentile with a heartbeat of 161. They were gorgeous and moving around. Baby A was so funny. HE moved around and mooned me and my mom. Baby B wouldn't open it's legs. They say they are pretty sure Baby A is a boy, but they can still be wrong. It is very early, but I am excited about it anyway.
Baby A's Hands up by (his) face.

Baby A's Head

Baby A Stetched Way Out!

Baby B's Head

Baby B Laying Back Chillin!

Baby B with it's Right Arm up by it's head.

Both Babies laying back, just growing and waiting!

My Anniversary
Posted Tuesday, September 16, 2008 12:51 PM

When I got home from work, I was shocked to see Matt at home. He called in for school and stayed home with me.
We went out to eat and then Matt gave me a replacement wedding ring. It is very pretty. I will have to post a picture later.
Then we came home, we ate a bite of our yucky cake, icing was awful!
Then we decided to watch DeathProof. I am a huge Tarantino fan. Anyway, that is all I've got for now. I send Matt's Mom pictures of the little ones!

My Mental Breakdown
Posted Monday, September 22, 2008 9:36 AM

So yesterday was a good day in the beginning. Matt and I went to a baby shower for a friend of ours. It was pretty nice. Co-ed, not my cup of tea. Anyway, we started talking baby names and then we started bickering. We agreed to not talk about names for awhile and we went to buy paint for our house which we paint this coming weekend! That led to bickering as well.
I think the hormones got the best of me to where I just needed to cry. I didn't feel like I had a great reason to actually cry, but I have been having so much back pain and morning sickness (still) that I just feel so miserable. I just broke down on the drive home. When I got home, I pulled it together.

When I got inside, Matt and I were sweet with each other. It was nice to have someone so caring and he also compromised with some of the decor ideas. I told him I just didn't want to think about names or anything while I felt so poorly. We decided to take it easy and watch more True Blood.
After our program ended, we went to bed and I just let it all out on Matt. I told him about everything that has been upsetting me. Basically, I told him that I don't feel attractive, I don't feel like I have control over my body. There is just so much going on with aches and pains. I hate that I can't go on a long car trip without throwing up. I can't eat my favorite foods and I can't enjoy a date with him. I just feel so sore all over and I told Matt that I don't feel like I can take this. I just don't feel like myself. I told him it feels like this pregnancy has drained me of everything that was fun and interesting. I can't be myself because I can't function like a normal human being. With how darn sick I am, I can't even function like a normal pregnant lady.
I just wish that I could feel good again. Matt was so good to me last night. I know he was tired, but he still stayed up and rubbed my back and just told me that everything would be okay and that once it is over, I will be a great Mom, but I will also feel like the woman I once was. He always tells me that I am attractive and that he thinks I am beautiful. I just feel so bad that I don't feel like the lady he married.

Hot Flash
Posted Monday, September 22, 2008 3:23 PM

Holy crap it is hot!
I am having hot flashes and I am soooo hoping this is a symptom that doesn't last the whole time. I am literally sitting indian-style over the cold air vent in my living room working from my laptop. Dangit, this is soo bad. I am covered in sweat and I feel so gross. I cannot wait until work is done so I can take a cold shower.
Isn't it fall? Let it cool off already!

October 17th
Posted Tuesday, September 23, 2008 12:17 PM

I finally have my closing date on the house. It felt like it was never going to happen. They are painting today, siding tomorrow, kitchen floor on Thursday, cabinets on Friday.
Then on Saturday I get to hit this huge twins sale before Matt and I start painting the walls. I wanted to add color right away, but I wanted them to prime and paint first. We have decided to do Brown Mustard yellow in the kitchen, dining room, living room, hall and foyer. Then in our bedroom, Matt gets to decide. It will probably end up being a gold color. Our Master bath is going to be a tan. The hall bath is going to be olive green. Then the babies' room will get finished once we find out the sex. Matt has been working on sketches for the mural on the walls. He has always wanted to do some of the walls in the house and I am finally all for it in the babies' room. It should be really cool.
I am so thrilled that Matt cancelled our Sunday plans this weekend. We had said we would drive half-way to see his brother on Sunday at a renaissance fair in Kansas City. Matt told me he will cancel because he isn't going to drive 8 hours round trip with a pregnant wife to walk around all day. Matt and I have become more and more alike since we've been married. A few years ago, I think Matt would have loved something like this. I think we have made each other cynical.
Well, that is all I've got.

Insurance, Insurance, Girl Scout Cookies!
Posted Tuesday, September 30, 2008 8:27 AM

First of all, let me tell you where the money goes. I am a very safe and careful driver. When I was rearended, this was not the first accident I had been in, but never has an accident been my fault. I wasn't looking to file a law suit or get any money past what was to pay for my car repairs. I happened to get so much more. During the accident. I had my head thrown back so hard into my headrest that I had whiplash. I mentioned it in the report, because if I hadn't and I had neck problems later, then I would definitely be kicking myself. But I was really scared at the time of the accident because all I could think about was my 6 week old baby growing in my body. To which I found out was twins at the ultrasound. My health insurance would cover those expenses so I didn't feel right if the car insurance, mine or the other guys covered it.
Well, I turned in the bill to mine, and the other guy's insurance because they needed the document whether my health insurance paid it or not. So I sent it along with a note that said that my insurance has paid this.
Well, imagine my surprise when I recieved 2, 381 dollar checks from both mine and the other guy's car insurance. I called my insurance and his. I was like, is this right for me to keep this, should I send it back? I got the same story from both, you can get reimbursed up to 3 times for the same bill in the state of Missouri. I was shocked. They told me that the money is mine and not to send it to my health insurance because technically, I pay for that health insurance, so I have already come out of pocket.
So I have some extra spending money on top of the inconvienence money I was given, as well as the almost 6,000 dollar bill that was paid to fix my car. I am pretty happy.
Although there was a reason I was not happy this morning: I opened up a letter from my health insurance company denying some of my medical visits. I was freaking out. It said I wasn't in the plan at the time of the visits. I worked in a suburb outside St. Louis and when I moved back to my downtown office, I had to pay a 1% city tax. When HR went to put in for my city tax, they decided to un-enroll me from my medical benefits and put me in the preferred plan. This was all without my knowledge or permission.
For 3 months, I did not receive any notification and went on saying GHP is my insurance. Well, I had that ultrasound, lab work, Dr appointments all while giving false insurance information! Ahhhhhhh! I was freaking out and HR said they would correct it and put me in the plan retroactively. Well, it turned out, some bills had already been rejected by that time. So I get a letter stating that I was responsible. This morning, I call HR and ask them if it really went through retroactively. They said yes. I call GHP and ask What the deal is, they also show me as in the plan since 2006. I tell them about the bills and they say they will resubmit them. Now I have to call my Dr. office and tell them they better not try to bill me for anything.
Also, since closing is October 17th, I have to get my loan together and the only things I am missing right now is figuring out who I want my homeowners insurance through and getting a copy of my husband's driver's license and last paycheck. He always forgets and it is irking me. I know it is a huge crunch time for him right now, but I can't wait til he gets a new job.
Anyway, I have to get the loan together, but I realized yesterday that I have to get my car relicensed by the end of September or I have to pay the late fee and I could get a ticket. I had my Mom take my car for inspection and emissions testing today so I can take that and my personal Property tax for the last 2 years to the DMV tonight so I can have the thing legal for tomorrow! I am also trying to get this done without Matt knowing because I nagged at him about being a procrastinator on the loan papers 2 days ago and I don't want to give him any ammunition against me:)
Our painting went great on Saturday. It was hot, we were all covered in paint and we all looked terrible. Wouldn't you know that would be the time when a group of 8 of our neighbors having a BBQ would all invite themselves into our home to snoop and meet us. They all had their kids in my house playing amongst our wet paint. Also, while we are trying to get them out so we can finish, I'll be darned if our neighbor's daughter didn't hit me up to buy Girl Scout Cookies. I bought 2 boxes. I was hot, dripping with sweat, covered in paint and I was buying Girl Scout Cookies.
That reminds me, why did they change the name of Samoas? Now they are Caramel Delights? I don't like it as much. What next, change the name of Thin Mints?

Morning (Sickness) Routine
Posted Tuesday, September 30, 2008 2:59 PM
Morning sickness hasn't gone away, it just got predictable. I have it down to a science now. When I wake up in the morning, I simply get up and run to the toilet as fast as I can. I throw up all of the nothing in my stomach, brush my teeth, take my zofran and go to work. Through the car ride to work I tough it out and breathe deeply into the AC or take in fresh air through the cracked window.
Once I get to work, I duck into the bathroom right off the garage and I throw up again. Like before, there isn't anything in my stomach except for a partially digested zofran. At this point, I go up to my desk and start work until I am hungry. So about 10, I am ready to eat and I go to hardees to get a breakfast sandwich. That greasy, bready sandwich is the only thing that gets me through.
I am usually okay until after lunch at 1. At that point, I either need to do my deep breathing or go throw up. I can deep breath through it about 90% of the time. By the drive home from work, I feel fine. I get home around 5/5:30 and I take my second zofran and take a nap until dinner. At dinner around 6, I am fine. I eat and I am good until about 8. Then I need to deep breathe until I go to sleep for the night, or turn in directly after dinner.
I will admit, even though the situation is not ideal, it is livable. These babies better be darn cute for what they have been doing to me. There is no doubt in my mind that they will be adorable. I already can tell that baby B has my nose. In the ultrasound, you can tell from the profile. And I also look forward to the wedding I am in March 28th, 2009. That is the night I am going to have my next real drink. I told the bride, I will behave until after I give the MOH toast, then if I get too hammered, she can make me go sit in the parking lot. It is hilarious that Matt and I already have Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) already scheduled to babysit :) I had to plan ahead for first night away from babies. I know I will feel different by then and my heart will just ache to not be near them.

My Normal Blog + Politics at the End
Posted Thursday, October 02, 2008 7:46 AM

Ok, so I was planning on moving into the house either the end of Sept or beginning of October. They were very close to that target. I wish I had planned for the weather though. It has always seemed like I could get away with a light jacket until Halloween, sometimes all the way to mid-November.
So this morning I go out in my nice light soccer jacket and it was freakin freezing! It was 38 degrees. It has warmed up a bit here now, but I was so cold. I packed all my heavier jackets too :( I am totally bummed out. Sometimes I think I am getting sick, but my nose is just constantly running so it irritates my throat. A runny nose in pregnancy is normal though, so I don't think I can count myself as full-blown miserable.
Anyway, I have a couple of updates. I felt a baby move! It was so exciting. I am terribly afraid of fish, so I won't call it a fish flop. It really felt like one little kernel of pop-corn popped in my belly just below my belly-button towards the left side. I was so excited. I wish I knew if that was baby A or B. I told Matt, I realize, I have no idea where either baby actually is in my tummy. It was so much fun knowing that my little one just kicked me. I had the giggles for about 20 minutes after it happened. I was absolutely giddy!
Another thing, I had been so busy lately and with feeling ill during parts of the day, it just seems so hard to get things done, but I have it almost done. I just have to have Matt sign a few spots on our loan papers. That includes the Patriot Act paper stating that we are not terrorists (I got a good laugh out of seeing that. So if you are a terrorist, do you not sign that paper?). I got my car registration renewed. I just have to get the homeowners insurance company to call me back. I hear good things about this company, but they never returned my call when I asked about car insurance about 6 months ago, and they haven't called me back yet on the homeowners, but they took more information from me on the phone this last time. I will give them until noon today before I go with another company.
I had Matt lay in bed with me and he rubbed my tummy a bit last night while I told him about what the pop felt like. He is so sweet about the babies. He really wants to feel them move, but admits that it will also totally freak him out.
I talk about politics for the rest of the blog and don't want to fight so if you want to quit reading here, this is your warning. If you are a Democrat, you will probably enjoy it though. If you read on, I truly hope this doesn't spark a lot of hatred. I love politics and believe no one should have to hide their opinions to keep things civil. Unfortunately, in day-to-day life, that isn't the case. On my blog, I talk about what I want. When it comes to Republicans, I don't think they are stupid. I don't think they are bad. I just think I have some major differences of opinion as to the best way the country should be run. I feel bad to have to preface this with such an explanation, but I rant a bit, and want everyone to know that I respect everyone who stays informed, I may not agree with the opinions of everyone, but I certainly agree that you are entitled to them. I don't mean to offend. And the Canadians here probably don't care about it!
Tonight is the VP debate. Hearing Sarah Palin talk just tends to put me in a rage. In all honesty, I might ditch America if McCain/Palin win. As Bill Mar said, every Democrat needs an escape plan. I don't mean to spark anything by that statement, but I don't like what she says, I don't like her attitude, and I don't like that she talks like Frances McDormond in the movie Fargo. I'm not saying that she doesn't have a right to her opinions or her beliefs, or the right to say it. I am just mentioning that everything she blabbers inspires a feeling in me that calls out, "A bit of anarchy ain't so bad."
I guess I never realized that it was the Alaskans keeping Russia in line all this time (SARCASM). Those Alaskans really dropped the ball during the Cold War. In Palin's first interview, people claimed that they didn't prep her on what the Bush Doctrine was and it wasn't fair. Out of one year of being a Poli-Sci major before switching to Communications and Advertising, I knew what it was without a refresher. But was Katie Couric wrong as well to blind-side her by asking what political magazines the possible, and hopefully not, VP, reads? Is it a mean question to ask a candidate if they have ever reak a freakin book!?! And I think it is perfectly okay to ask a question about the bailout, but she didn't have a clue about it. Heck, it is pretty relevant to know a teensy bit about it. Am I wrong? How the heck does the bailout have anything to do with the jibberish she rattled off. I wish she had said one thing that made sense. I watched the Couric interview and I almost crapped my pants, I was so terrified.
All I want for my birthday this year is for Barack Obama to be president. As a mother-to-be, I think it is important for my future children, God forbid they ever need a use for it, to have access to treatments only available through stem-cell research and I will try to donate my babies' cord blood in hopes that it might help save lives. It is important for me to know that if either of my babies grow up to be gay, that they will be able to get married and experience a wedding like their father and I enjoyed. I do not want to deny my children rights to be healthy and happy no matter who they are.
This election, I am more emotionally attached to the issues than ever before. I have to think about the country that my babies are growing up in. And one other thing, in the first presidential debate this year, McCain started off almost all his answers by saying, "What Senator Obama doesn't understand..." I just want to say that Barack Obama went to Harvard, McCain would have an awful hard time finding something that Barack Obama doesn't understand. It is a horrible thing to peg a brilliant person as an elitist because they worked hard for everything they have, earned his or her way into one of the top schools in our nation and persevered against great adversity to an amazingly successful outcome beyond most people's wildest dreams. So if you are an elitist because you work hard and possess a knowledge more vast than McCain/Palin, then I would say that 100% of loyal Democrats and all the swing-voters who have done thier research in order to find out what is better for the future of this country, are the elitists that need to squash the Republican party in this election.

Exciting Update
Posted Friday, October 03, 2008 9:47 AM

Well, I guess it is just exciting for me. I haven't thrown up in 2 days.

To Be Mature or Not To Be Mature?
Posted Friday, October 03, 2008 2:45 PM
Ok, so I was checking my email and I had a Live Nation Concert Update. I usually delete, but I thought, it could be interesting to see what all is coming to the Lou.
I bought Matt really great tickets to see Metallica for 2 days before my birthday. I bought them for him on our anniversary. He was super-excited, but with the house and baby expenses I planned on us just having a nice night in for my birthday. We usually don't do much to celebrate mine anyway.

But, the day of my birthday, there is a Sammy Hagar and the Wabos show in town. I love Sammy Hagar. If we have a boy and a girl, I want them to be named Samuel and Sophia. Sam after Matt's cousin who passed away, and I would call him Sammy because I love the Red Rocker. The tickets are 100 dollars each. I want them so bad, but I don't like buying things for myself, and I think it would be especially pathetic to buy myself a birthday gift. Normally when I did get stuff for my birthday, people would give me money and I'd use it to buy people Christmas gifts.
I feel bad for wanting this so badly. I feel that if I went to it, it would just be taking clothes off my children's backs. I hate being a grown-up and making responsible choices.

Feels So Good!
Posted Monday, October 06, 2008 7:08 AM

I had an absolutely wonderful weekend. Matt and I usually get home right about the same time as each other, but on Friday when I got dropped at home, I had forgotten my keys, I called Matt, and he was at work late. It sucked so much, but his co-worker fell way behind and the whole staff was trying to finish all the work orders. I can't wait until Matt has a new job. Anyway, I go ahead and open up the garage, grab a popcicle out of the deep freeze, climb over the fence into the back yard and took a nap on the deck. I even brought the dog up on the deck with me and she was a sweetie. I kicked off my shoes and she fell asleep laying on my feet. I called Matt to see where he was and I could still hear his office freaking out in the background and he told me he probably wouldn't get home until 7.
I figured since it would be dark by then, I called my aunt to bring me over to my Grandma's house. When she picked me up, we went and got ice cream and I ate my first chocolate malt that I could keep down since being pregnant. It was yummy.
Then I got to my Grandma's house, we watched TV and talked for awhile until we heard a man yell from the porch. I got up to run to the porch to see the funniest thing. My Aunt and Uncle live with my Grandma and they just got a new kitten. This is the friendliest cat, but he does something funny. He really loves to sit on people's shoulders and nuzzle people's faces. When Matt walked up on the porch, the kitten, 'Smokey' was sitting up on the ledge by the roof. Smokey jumped on Matts back and dug in his claws to hold on. Matt freaked out until he realized that it was their cat, but Smokey spooked Matt and Matt's reaction spooked Smokey, so the cat was just climbing all over my husband while Matt was trying to just get a hold of him and pry him off. Poor kitty, poor hubby!
So we went out to eat after Matt picked me up and then we went home. I was so tired. I decided to sack out early. Then Matt and I slept in Saturday morning and just stayed in bed talking for awhile. I got the best back rub I've had in a looooong time. When I rolled out of bed, I called American Furniture and got our deliveries set up for the day I wanted. They were such a pain in the butt, but glad it is taken care of.
We went to the house that morning and we were so shocked, when the construction workers painted our trim, they were so careful to not get our nicely painted walls too splotchy. We only have a few touch-ups so we are going to wait until next weekend.
Then, Matt and I went to Lowes. We got a pretty doorknocker and peep-hole set. Then we looked at wrought-iron mailboxes. And while we were there, Matt mentioned that once we are in the new house, he really wants to buy a bigger Christmas tree. I am so excited. Maybe I will consider that my Birthday gift this year instead of going out to eat. Matt and I also got some really pretty glass ball ornaments.
While we were leaving, we choose to go to Pasta House for lunch. It was positively yummy. I haven't had a good eggplant parm in awhile. After we left, I decided to go with Matt to get his hair cut. Matt hates getting his hair cut though. He doesn't like spending money on it when he says I could just cut it with clippers. While he was getting his hair cut, I walked over to Sally's Beauty Supply and bought a guide on cutting men's hair and bought a really cool clipper set. I have been starting to think I have 2 little boys in my tummy. If I have a family full of boys, I decided I better save on haircuts. I know it is silly, but Matt and I started talking about how much fun it will be to have the boys or girls get their first haircuts. (There were 2 little boys getting their hair cut for the first time at the barber shop we went to.)
Anyway, after that, Matt and I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and Linen and Things and bought a new bed set for the third bedroom. Afterwards, we decided to run to American furniture and we got an entertainment stand for the flat screen, we brought the purchase straight home with us. No shipping!
After we got home, Matt played his video games for about 30 minutes and I reserved our moving truck at a really good rate. Yay! Then my parents left to take my sister to a hay ride and corn maze with the rest of her gymnast friends. So all that evening, we had the house by ourselves. We watched 2 great movies, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and 88 Minutes.
It was nice to have some time by ourselves. It has been really nice of my parents to let us stay and save money for all the little home expenses while we build. I miss our apartment at times, but building the house has been cool. Now that it is almost finished, I see this all as being so worth it. However, over our lunch at Pasta House, I asked Matt, "10 years down the road, do you see us building the house of our dreams, or buying a house that is close to what we want?" Matt told me he'd rather get a great house and gut it to make it perfect. I think I might agree. However, this whole customize your home experience has been very cool.
Oh, and Sunday was a day we spent in bed. A perfect day, absolutely perfect, and True Blood was really good. And on a side note, Desperate Houswives is kinda sucking this year. I don't think I like the 5 years skip-ahead. I find myself feeling so sorry for Gabby and her hair bugs me so much. Lynette's kids bug me. I really liked Mike and they just pushed him to the side, and Bree is the most dull character on the show. And Edy is just annoying and the actor who plays her husband bugs me.

Peeing in the Morning
Posted Monday, October 06, 2008 8:54 AM
The ride to work was typical until we finally reached downtown. Driving in front of the courthouse, the whole carpool looks over at a man who is peeing on the side of the courthouse. We noticed him because there was a security guard running full-out towards him yelling, "Hey, Hey, You pull your pants up right now!" It was very funny, not your usual St. Louis morning.

True Test of Friendship
Posted Wednesday, October 08, 2008 7:08 AM
Ah, it is time to see who our true friends really are. That is right, we are moving and we need some help. Now, I can't tell you how many people I have helped move in the past, some with some notice, others without any notice at all. I never expected compensation past pizza and beer. Isn't that the standard rate for a friend's help?
Anyway, I have my best girlfriend recruited. I have my best friend from high school and her husband recruited, and there are two other couples on Matt's side that I think he needs to get.

The person Matt has to get to help, better darn well help us. It is a requirement. And I mean a requirement. I didn't want Matt to help him move because I was having a really hard time in the pregnancy, but this friend begged and pleaded and promised he would help us when our time came up. On October 18th, I told Matt, if he doesn't show up to help, I am going to hunt him down and force him to help us. It is mandatory.
Anyway, other than that, Matt and I have our list of complaints we already have with the house.
-They haven't trimmed this weird piece of (drywall) mounted to the floor that overhangs the hearth area. They better not try to carpet over that.
-They have to patch every spot where they have screwed up our drywall. They better not think that just because we painted, that they are done. They have seriously banged up a ton of corners. We are willing to touch up the paint afterwards.
-They didn't install the humidifier on the furnace that we paid for.
-They didn't run the water line to the fridge like we paid for.
-There is a vent duct leading to nowhere in the basement. If they try to scoop it down and back up and over, it will lose so much efficiency. If they even try that crap, I am going to rip them new one because I begged them to move that furnace over a few feet and they wouldn't because of "efficiency". I will be so freaking ticked.
-Also, if you paid for a wood laminate in your foyer and that was the exact words, "wood laminate in the foyer" wouldn't you expect that it would cover the foyer? They have started at the door and stopped the wood midway into our hall closet. Basically, it is like saying, "if you have shoes on, don't think you can walk to the shoe closet, we are carpeting that." Just wait until I throw my unholy fit about that one. This is my house. I want it freaking perfect, and the reason why, because I am paying an arm and a leg for this house, during the worst economic crisis since I have been born. And I am paying for a perfect house.
Also, something I choose not to make a fuss over that get to me. They screwed our toilet paper holders into the side of our bathroom cabinets. Did they think that when I come home, I would really like to sit in a bathroom that reminds me of a Motel 6? They put holes in my cabinets, so now I have to live with their painfully tacky bad taste. HOLES! Who the heck gets off putting holes in someone elses cabinets? I can't fathom a person so dense.

So Little Time, So Many Little Miracles!
Posted Friday, October 10, 2008 7:56 AM

It feels like life is so surreal. There is so much going on lately. My morning sickness, I sadly say, is not over, but it is so close to gone. I didn't throw up for over a week, and then yesterday morning I threw up, but felt great afterwards for the rest of the day. This morning, I threw up, but I feel fine now, so hopefully this means that it has only bounced back a teeny tiny bit. I can deal with this, piece of cake!
Yesterday, I went to lunch with my friend Travis. Today is his last day at the company. I told him that since I owed him a lunch, I'd take him anywhere. Just like a man, so indecisive. I decided to go for spicy Thai food. That really got the babies going. I might eat Thai food every day now!
Anyway, I had a Dr appointment last night and it was great, no ultrasound, but these precious babies make me laugh. The second the Dr put the doppler machine against my tummy, Baby A just started kicking at it over and over. Then Baby B was just relaxing for about 20 seconds, then the Dr said, "Come on baby, kick your Mama", and like a good little baby, he or she started kicking away too. It was adorable.
I cannot believe I am moving into my house a week from today! I am so excited. The builder listened to every request and is working on fixing everything. Matt and I went to the house last night. We have carpet now. It really makes all the difference. Except for our door lever handles not being attached yet, it looks like a complete house. There was something so cool about walking into the house, kicking off my shoes and walking bare-foot on my own carpet. It isn't rented carpet, isn't someone else's carpet, it is mine and Matt's.
I was looking around at everything and thinking the other day, and I thought, maybe I had made a mistake about the colors we painted everything, but with carpet and trim, and the electricity being turned on with all our light fixtures, everything just looked perfect. Matt and I sat in the living room floor and just looked around and took it all in. It is so nice to think of myself as a homeowner.
Matt and I are in such a good place right now. For once since we've been able to vote, our favorite candidate looks like he has a shot which makes me comfortable in knowing that finances will stay okay. I paid $3.15 a gallon for gas this morning, and even though it isn't great and we are being gouged still, I filled up for less than $50 which hasn't happened in awhile. We are buying our home and we have a good interest rate. There are no worries about not affording anything we need. The babies are being pretty good to me and as my belly is getting bigger, it is starting to become even more fun to sing to and talk to the babies. The babies give me good kicks when I sing them some Stone Temple Pilots' "Interstate Love Song"
Matt is being a big goof. He has been listening to a podcast religiously, I think it is called "Jumping Monkeys" it is all about babies and having kids. Cute and interesting stuff, but I prefer to read.
I don't know what else to say, life is good!

A Little Bit Depressed
Posted Sunday, October 12, 2008 10:15 PM

I have no real reason to feel like the world is ending, but I've got some sadness happening. Maybe I just need some sleep.
I went shopping today for the house and I believe Matt and I are ready to move into that big house. We did touchups on Saturday and that went okay, but by the end of the day, I was sore and miserable. Every time I'd sit or stand, you should hear the moaning groaning I was doing. I just wonder where my energy has gone.
On Friday when I went with Matt to his friend's for a going away party for another one of his friends, I fell asleep on the couch at about 11, and woke up at around 2. People laughed at the fact that I am so tired and just overall different. At that same party, a dancer said that if she found out she was pregnant with twins, she'd think she'd have to kill herself. It is kinda hard to laugh that off. But almost everyone is excited for us, they just have no desire to be in our shoes.
So Matt and I spent today shopping and it was nice. I enjoy his company, sometimes. Sometimes I look at him and think, "You SOB, you did this to me and I dont like you for it." Other times I know that is irrational thinking. I had a dream last night that he pushed me into a volcano and I woke up so mad at him.
When I go out to eat, I always think about the drink I'd have if I wasn't pregnant. I love these babies, but I just want to feel like I am in charge of this body again. I told Matt on Saturday, "I look forward to being in my own house, not pregnant." After I have these beautiful bundles of joy in my life.
Matt told me that he wants to make sure that once these babies are out of me, he really wants to give me the time I used to take to go running with my best friend. I miss that so much and Matt says he is afraid I am just going to give up everything and everyone in my life because of how tired I feel. I understand his worries, because I rarely have the desire to see people or be seen. Anyway, I think that is all for me tonight.

What A Difference
Posted Monday, October 13, 2008 7:16 AM

I blogged last night and I was just during the whole darn thing. It really did feel like nothing was going my way, but this morning I feel completely different. In all honesty, by 11:30 last night things had changed.
Right when I finished that blog, I crawled in bed with Matt and I woke him up. He hadn't been asleep but a few minutes, but he was still groggy. So basically, I unloaded tons of hormonal issues onto my poor sleepy husband. I just told him that even though we spend time together, everything is always a talk about the house or baby names, and when it comes to this stuff, of course we always find middle ground, but it takes awhile and it takes some bickering. I told him that I am afraid I will be a bad Mom because I am too selfish at times, like wanting a drink like I mentioned in my blog last night or wanting to just have the energy I had before I found out I was pregnant.
I am scared to have 2 babies because I read all these books, like Mayo Clinic and WTE and they give you so many pointers about how to raise just one baby. They talk about the stress it can cause. They talk about the time it will take and I worry. I worry so much about not being able to feed both of these babies the way I want to. I'm afraid that when they are crying, that I won't be able to comfort them both. I worry about simple logistics of when I want so badly to cuddle them both, "How will I keep them both in my arms next to me without accidentally knocking their poor heads together?" I just want to be a good Mom and never in a million years did I expect to have 2 at the same time.
I hear women in the 1st trimester talk about how much they want twins and how much they think they are having twins because they seem more bloated that normal. I never once thought that. I just thought, "What a surprise." Then with 2, I just thought, "How ever will I make this work." Matt asked me, "Do you love these babies?" Which brought me from a sobbing mess to a virtually inconsolable stuffed up sobbing mess. Matt wrapped his arms around me, and looking back on it, I think he was probably anxiously awaiting that answer. After a few minutes of persistent tears, I told him, "Of course I do." How could I not love them. I feel them move inside of me. I take my vitamins no matter how horrible they make my stomach feel, I would go through the most horrible labor imaginable if it would mean that they are born healthy and chubby and wiggly and strong. I just sometimes feel so down.
I feel almost guilty at times that I have spent so much time thinking about the house that I haven't been able to fawn over these little miracles as much as I'd really like to. With being so sick for so long, coupled with dealing with builders and getting so many of the little things involved with the house finished, it just seemed like life was going to get the best of me. Now that we are almost in the house and planning can move into actual living, living can finally establish a pattern that I can really work with.
Matt just listened to everything I had to say which seemed like forever, but was really just about 20 minutes of crying it out. After I finally calmed down and was able to blow my nose, Matt rubbed my neck, which later turned into him with his arms around me rubbing my belly. I can't explain how or why things happen the way they do, but having his hands on my belly just makes me feel safe and warm, like nothing can hurt our family. Even my doubts about how I will be able to show 2 babies at once that they are the most important things in this world, seem to fade away.
So after a little bit of a belly rub, I turned around to face him and I kissed him good.

Thinking of the way I kissed him reminded me of this priest I had as my teacher at SLU. I know that sounds like a funny comparison, but he was a writer for "All My Children" and he would always write into his scripts the intensity of the kissing that should occur between characters and the funniest thing he ever said was, "I didn't say to kiss her, I said to SUCK HER FACE!"
My husband might not be the most romantic guy in this whole world, but he knows exactly how to give me everything I need, and last night he took care of me in a way that I was really needing. He is everything to me.

Blogging Too Much
Posted Monday, October 13, 2008 9:23 AM

Ok, so now I feel like I am blogging too much, but last night I felt so sad, this morning, I wanted everyone to know that I feel better. Now I want everyone to know the silly stuff I am thinking of.

Ok, so I am going to break this up into Yay! and Boo!

I took belly pics this weekend: Yay!

I forgot to upload them: Boo!

Painting touchups on the house are finished: Yay!

I am so sore, I move at the speed of an 80 year old woman: Boo!

We finished shopping for almost everything we need in the house: Yay!

We forgot to buy the mailbox: Boo!

My Parents bought us a housewarming gift, garage door opener: Yay!

My Parents also bought me my birthday gift and gave it to me early, Maternity Coat: Yay!

Matt told me he is getting me a birthday gift this year, iPhone: Yay!

It is Mid-October and I know all the Birthday 'surprises' in store for me when my B-day isn't until November 19th: Boo!

Mizzou lost the game on Saturday: Mother-******, BOOOOOOOOOOO!

Rams won on Sunday: What, seriously!?! Okay, we'll take it. Yay!

Rams won and I'm out of the football pool: Boo!

Matt and I are homeowners as of Friday: Yay!

Matt and I are "Broke" as of Friday: Boo!

Less than 3 weeks until I find out the sex of my little M&M's: Yay!!!

More arguing over what mural to paint on the babies' walls: Boo! (Hey, stroke of genius, why not M&Ms?)

As of last Dr. appointment, down 3lbs since pre-pregnancy weight: Both Yay! and Boo! I'm glad I'm gaining weight, but I'm still not where I want to be yet.

Matt and I get to decorate for Halloween at home: Yay!

We get to hand out candy this year: Yay! Yay! Yay!

My favorite Radio station just switched their music playlists. They are playing non-stop Christmas music. I swear to this, I am not kidding. Jackfrost can't nip at my nose until after we've heard the Monster Mash, Thank you very much: Boo!

Nuttier than a Fruitcake (Pic)
Posted Wednesday, October 15, 2008 9:03 AM

That's me!
Yesterday I yelled at Matt for buying another video game. He was all like, "It's a classic title." I was like, don't matter! It was 15 bucks. I told him that I don't go spend 15 here and 15 there. He told me, you spent 25 yesterday on a Ba-rack the vote t-shirt. So yeah, I forgot about that. I told him that 20% goes to the campaign, and therefore it was an investment in our babies future. It is hard to be taken seriously when you have that kind of logic.
Yesterday, I woke Matt up because I couldn't sleep. I am so excited about the house and doing the walkthrough today! He started to talk with me about what he was excited for. And boom, I fell asleep while he was talking.
This morning, I woke up, threw up, ate a snickers ice cream bar, a bacon sandwich and a plain cake donut. It is all about knowing what your tummy can handle.
Oh, and my belly button hasn't popped out yet, but it is really cool, I can put my hands on either side of my belly button and push my belly button out. Matt yells at me every time I do it.
Oh, and I will post the side by side pics later, but for now, you can look at this one.