Double the Trouble & Twice the Fun: Surprise! Twins :)

Alot Has Happened Since I last Posted
Posted Monday, July 28, 2008 8:55 AM

I won't be online too much today, my morning sickness is absolutely horrible today.
On Friday night, I came home from work and I was so tired. I went straight to bed and slept from 5 pm Friday until 8am Saturday. Saturday, Matt and I got up and went for a nice walk and I took a shower. Then we left to get our apartment ready to turn over to the office. Matt and I stopped at wal-mart and picked up paint samples. We got to the apartment, I matched up the color and went back to wal-mart by myself while Matt cleaned the bathroom.
I was stopped in traffic when a van smashed into the back of my car going about 30 miles an hour and pushed me into the SUV in front of my car. I was so shaky afterwards and my heart was racing. Matt ran a mile to the car accident to be with me. They had to tow my car. I was checked out at the scene and they said my blood pressure was a bit high and my pulse was crazy, but it was probably just the shock from it all. So I called my Dr. exchange to see if they wanted me to go to the emergency room. The nurse on call said as long as I don't start spotting and bleeding, I am fine and to take it easy.
Matt went back to work on the apartment and I went home with my Mom. I took it easy, but later that night, I started bleeding a little. I called Matt into the bathroom and I just cried. However, the bleeding stopped, and it was not heavy. After that it was brown spotting. Now the spotting is almost over. I have to call my Dr today to set up an ultrasound for this week.
I was so scared. I hate the man who hit me. He couldn't have been paying attention? I know it was an accident, but if it has hurt my baby in any way, he can go to Hell. I was going to go get ginger chews at the health food store. My morning sickness has been killing me. Now I don't have a car and have been throwing up all night, not to mention that my head hurts ever since the accident and I have awful whiplash from where I hit my head on my headrest.
I was told over the phone that my bleeding could have been that placenta was jolted a bit. I am just so angry. I love my car. I love my baby. I loved feeling like this pregnancy was safe. Now William of Festus may have stole it away from me. Way to go William, lets hope you didn't murder my hopes and dreams of having a healthy baby.
I hope I can go to the dr today.

Just had to put in a quick update
Posted Monday, July 28, 2008 11:43 AM

I called the Dr. I get an ultrasoud today at 2:30 and the results of my bloodwork last week were excellent. All those hormone levels were high and progesterone levels were high as well. In the words of the nurse, "There is no doubt that you are pregnant and progressing. We should definitely be able to see something on this ultrasound today."
Please God, let it be a healthy little baby forming. I have my fingers crossed for a little heartbeat. Matt is going to meet me at the appointment.

TWINS!!!!
Posted Monday, July 28, 2008 4:02 PM

I am so freakin serious!!!!!!!! Pictures to be posted later. Baby A heartbeat is 122, Baby B heartbeat is 116!!!!!!!!!

PICTURES OF MY BABIES!!!!!!!
Posted Monday, July 28, 2008 6:46 PM

Both of our babies!

Baby A

Baby B

Our Little Babies!

Twice the Everything
Posted Tuesday, July 29, 2008 8:18 AM

So I was reading about twins, and from what I hear, twice the sharp tinges in the belly from a rapidly expanding uterus, twice the morning sickness, and twice the babies!!!!!
I was sick as a dog yesterday. I threw up over and over, even when there was nothing left, I had these deep coughs and dry heaving. It was miserable. My chest hurts so much from it.
My whiplash makes it impossible for my neck to get comfy. My twins make it impossible for my back to be comfy. Geesh, I cannot win. Insurance companies are hounding me about the accident. I have given 4 recorded statements already. Fix my car, pay for it, I was rear-ended after being stopped in traffic, it is fairly obvious that I should not come out of pocket.
I am twice as tired today. Yesterday was so crazy. I am just so sleepy. When I was laying on the table yesterday, the lady who was doing the ultrasound asked, "Were you taking clomid?" I said no. She said, "Were you trying?" I said "Nope, this is our surprise baby." She said "Babies, Surprise Babies!" Then she turned the screen and showed Matt and I the prettiest little flickering hearts I've ever seen.
The heartbeats are healthy for 6 weeks. It was a gorgeous sound. 122 and 116. They are going to have low blood pressure like their Mommy and Daddy. It was so cute. Matt and I were holding onto each others hands so tight. It was amazing. I have never felt so close to Matt. I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Our little M&M's will need names. We were thinking Sophie and Hayden when we were thinking one baby. Now we are thinking Mia and Sophia and calling them Mia and Sophie. Then for boys, Holden and Hayden. So that is what we have so far: names subject to change. And because I will be delivering closer to 37 weeks instead of 40, I should be okay for my friend's wedding afterall.

Updates to all the questions I've been asked! Updated!!!!!!!!
Posted Tuesday, July 29, 2008 9:05 AM

Wow were you like completely overwhelmed?
I was in shock. I giggled and said, "Nooooooo, Really? Noooooooo, Oh my Gosh, Nooooooooo?"
Do you plan to find out the sexes?
Oh yes, definitely will find out.
I know you just want healthy...but what are you hoping for sex wise?
I so want a girl and a boy, second preference would be 2 girls.
What will you name them if it's a boy and a girl???
Right now, we are thinking Hayden and Sophie.
What does Matt think about it?
Matt is shocked, but so happy. Last night while we were laying in bed, he kissed me and said I love you, I started to say it back and he moved down and kissed my tummy twice and said "And I love you and you too."
Then when I left this morning, he said "Bye sweetheart", and then he put his hand on my tummy and said "I'll see you all later."
Do Twins run in your family?
My Grandpa on my Mom's side was a twin, so yes they do, I just wasn't thinking about it beforehand.

Pregnant Lady No No
Posted Tuesday, July 29, 2008 4:14 PM

I swear some of my friends don't know me at all.
You have no idea how many people want to take me out to celebrate. I am thinking, take me out to celebrate when I don't have to carry them in my body or breastfeed.
Anyway, I have used this line on a couple friends who want to celebrate and some laugh, and some look at me like I have two heads.
To demonstrate the line, I will pull an excerpt from a conversation I had with my friend earlier today.
Friend: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! TWINSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! This is so exciting!!!!!
Mandy: Yeah, I'm so excited.
Friend: I want to go out and celebrate after work one day.
Mandy: I am totally up for it, with how killer this morning sickness is, I could really go for a margarita.
Friend: Um, No. :(
Seriously, laugh people, laugh!

Bye, Bye Apartment
Posted Thursday, July 31, 2008 8:17 AM

Matt and I got rid of the apartment yesterday. Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!! I am so happy to have gotten rid of it. We went through and took pictures. Put in our change of address and turned in our keys. I told Matt the only thing that made me sad was that we were leaving after we made our babies there. Matt said he isn't really sad to leave it. It was our first place together, but he said, "With the babies coming, the house is going to be soo nice." And I agree. I couldn't even imagine having twins in that apartment.
Matt and I decided to stop at Steak n Shake for dinner last night. I had a different motive than wanting a good burger. That motive is, when I waitressed there as a teenager, we had to clean that bathroom top to bottom. I really just wanted a nice clean bathroom to throw up in. I needed it.
When I finished throwing up and brushing my teeth, I came out to the table. Matt asked me, "Were you crying in there? I think I heard you crying." I said no, but I was lying. It seems like everytime I throw up, I also cry right afterwards, and I mean immediately. So I throw up and cry into the toilet. I cannot wait until the morning sickness passes. I can't keep anything down. I have tried, but I just can't. Since I have been pregnant, I have lost a little over 5 lbs. I just feel like I need to get good nutrients to my baby, and my body won't let me.
I have thrown up every day now for over a week straight. But each of the past 3 days have been worse than the the 4 days before it combined. I need something to help me.

Feeling So Guilty Lately/Laughing and Medicating Through Morning Sickness
Posted Friday, August 01, 2008 8:17 AM

I read something in What To Expect last night that made me not feel so alone. I have been having a difficult time adjusting to the idea of twins. Matt and I only wanted 2 biological children. This means we either modify our plan, or this is the last time I get pregnant. That makes me a little bit sad. Also, with the idea of pregnancy, I was just so in love with the idea of my one little M&M that I can dote on and cuddle and it could be just me and him or me and her. Now I almost feel bad that I won't be able to give either one of them my full attention. I hate that I will be torn between them.
I just imagined giving birth and them putting my baby in my arms. I never imagined giving birth and still being hooked up to fetal monitors and still needing to push. It just scares me so much. I read that it is rare, but not uncommon for a woman to deliver (pushing) and then need a c-section for baby #2. I don't want this to be a possibility. I only get 6 weeks with my babies and I don't want to have to heal from both major abdominal surgery and a natural delivery. I will want to be able to get up and play with them. I am just so afraid.
I need to find out my Dr's policy on bedrest. I may have to take a leave of absense from work, which will be nice, but I will be home alone in a new house for the majority of every weekday. I just feel like this pregnancy is going to be so much different than what most people get and want.
You all have to understand that I feel so terribly guilty for feeling this way because both these babies have already made me fall in love with them so much more than I could ever have imagined. The second I saw their little heartbeats flicker, I was just in such awe of what is happening inside my body. I will love both these little M&Ms no matter what. I just worry that while they are here, I have to learn to be a mother to not one, but two precious little miracles. I just don't know if I can be good enough for them.
I feel like I am awful because I went on meds yesterday in order to keep food down. It doesn't necessarily make my tummy feel better, but it makes me digest faster so I don't have much inside to throw up. I didn't throw up yesterday evening, last night or this morning, so I really think it is helping me. I just feel so badly because even though my Dr assured me that the babies will be fine and this drug has not caused a birth defect in the decade it has been around, I just feel like I am being a bad Mom. I feel like I should be able to grit my teeth and bare it.
Also, My Dad and I were in the car yesterday downtown and his old baseball buddy pulled up next to us at a stoplight. This guy was always hilarious. My Dad said "Hey Steve, did you hear I am going to be a Grandpa? To Twins!" then he pointed at me. Everyone always assumes that twins will be identical even though fraternal twins are more common. Steve yelled over to me, "You should name them Juan and Hamal. Because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Hamal." I laughed so hard, I swear I felt better. I had never heard that one before. I am going to have to use that again. That is the best reaction to twins I've gotten thus far.

I Must Be Made Of Money
Posted Monday, August 04, 2008 1:28 PM

When it rains, it poors. So I was supposed to be sunning at the lake today, drinking a margarita, swimming in the nice cool water and occasionally, rock diving.
Well, I am preggers now, so no such luck!
Instead, I took a personal day today to lounge around the house and watch movies and lay out on the deck a smidgen. This is so much fun. I was going to use today to go shopping, but over the weekend, Matt's car gave out. So now we are building a house, paying on my car which won't be finished in the shop until August 12th. We are having twin babies which we need to start college funds for and tack on the payment for another car. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not made of money. I don't really know why all of a sudden, life has decided to test us, but fine. That is just fine. If it wants to throw me another curve ball today, I will be sunbathing on the deck with my water spritzer bottle.
Screw life!!!! I hate this year.

Cool Things/Finalized the Girls Names
Posted Tuesday, August 05, 2008 1:56 PM

What a day. I am so tired. My miracle pills weren't quite working this morning. I had to vomit like the dickens. Anyway, that isn't why I am writing.
I am writing because of 2 reasons. The boy I used to date in high school that my husband was best friends with for awhile, the guy who got seriously upset at Matt and I going out because we didn't ask for permission, is having a baby. (This is not my psycho ex, this guy was just genuinely hurt by us and we always felt bad.)
Matt helped him move on Friday. Matt called him to tell him the news and his baby is due a month before ours. Matt called him while he was in the middle of moving. He had no help. Matt put his shoes on and went over and helped, no questions asked.

I felt so sorry for our old friend. His girlfriend was in the hospital for 2 days at only 16 weeks because they almost lost the baby. They were supposed to be out of their rented house on Thursday, but they were still in the hospital. So on Friday, they were moving out while the next guy was moving in. When Matt got there, the new tenant was pissed at our old friend for not being out sooner.
This is why it is never good to wait until last minute, but it all worked out. The really cool thing is our friend was moving back home with his parents to save money to buy a house within a few months. Just like us. Our friend mentioned how much he missed us. Our friend's Mom went up to Matt and gave him a huge hug and said how much she loved Matt! We got invited to one of their big Italian dinners. Also, the girls names are decided, which makes me almost hope they are both girls so we can just lock in on names. Amelia Paula (Mia) and Sophia Jillian (Sophie). We had to switch the girls name to Amelia so Matt would be happy. He didn't like that Mia was a full name, but now he is good and says he doesn't want to change them again.

Dingo Bait!
Posted Tuesday, August 05, 2008 4:34 PM

Please tell me that someone else gets the t-shirt I bought. I tried to describe it to friends, but they just don't get it. I saw it and laughed my butt off.

Feeling a Little Bit Guilty
Posted Wednesday, August 06, 2008 1:28 PM

I am lucky that once I have my babies, my Mom is willing to watch the babies during the day. I feel a little bit bad about it. I know she wanted to be a hands on Grandma, but I'm not sure this is quite what she had in mind.
Matt and I live close enough to home that I will get up and start getting ready, get the kids a little bit ready while Matt gets ready. Matt will finish getting the kids set to go while I leave with my carpool. Then Matt will take the kids to the Hardees parking lot where my Mom will meet Matt to pick up the babies.
This is going to be one crazy schedule. My Mom will have the babies while I'm at work. I ride in the carpool back to my house, get my car and drive to my Mom and Dad's house where I pick up my little pretty babies, then I can take them home to meet Matt. That doesn't sound too insane, does it? I know I also can con my supervisor into giving me some temporary work-from-home time while I am breast-feeding.
I feel a bit guilty that I will spend so much time away from my babies, but with a house, 2 car payments, increased car insurance from Matt going from liability only to full coverage, and him going back to school with a tougher schedule, alongside the price of raising 2 little growing babies, I can't afford to stay home at all.
Also, I feel bad because my friend Elisa is getting married and I feel like I can't do the things that I need to do for her. At the appropriate time to give her a shower, I will probably be on bedrest or giving birth.
That is the main thing I wanted to do for her and it makes me so sad.
Babies, I love you, but you guys aren't making it easy on Mommy. But a huge thank you for letting Mommy's tummy calm down. I had thrown up 6 times today and by the last time, I was throwing up almost nothing except for the blood from where my throat is just raw.

How Can I, When I know it is Impossible?
Posted Thursday, August 07, 2008 9:52 AM

Eat 2,700 calories a day, the book of multiples pregnancy is full off crap! I can't even keep down 500. I promise I will start reading more blogs when I am done tossing all my cookies and then some.
I can't eat and I feel so weak. I sleep all the time because my body is basically eating itself. I lost 2 additional lbs yesterday which puts my combined weight loss since pregnancy at 11lbs. I just wish they would hospitalize me. I can't live like this.
I try to eat. I know I have to, but the only thing I can keep down is apple juice. So I have been drinking only apple juice to get me through the day. I drink it hot too. I want it cold, but there is a problem. Before my parents went on vacation, they bought some roast beef for me to make Matt sandwiches. It smells so strongly that when I open the fridge, I throw up.
I can only drink hot AJ. I am so miserable. After work yesterday, I just sat on the couch and I cried until I had to throw up again. I hate this so much.
I love knowing these babies are thriving, but they can't thrive for too long if I can't eat anything. Yesterday, I threw up right after Matt fixed me plain toast. I was just so violently ill. I was sitting in the bathroom floor and Matt came in and put a cold washcloth on the back of my neck. It felt nice. Then he took me to bed and scratched my head until I fell asleep. He said, "What happened to my lovely wife that could eat like a horse." He was joking, but it upset me. I just started saying that this is it. I never want to be pregnant again. The second I give birth, I just want them to take out everything. I really do feel this way now. Matt said I will change my mind in a few short weeks. I am serving my purpose in life and I don't deserve any further punishment.
And when I say I want to die from this morning sickness, I don't want to hear one more stupid lady tell me that she had a perfect pregnancy with no morning sickness. I swear, I just want to claw these women's eyes out of their heads.
I can't even make it through typing this blog without throwing up the apple juice I just bragged about me keeping down. I hate this feeling. I just hate all of it.

The Farmer And The Chicken
Posted Thursday, August 07, 2008 12:40 PM

My husband is a goofball, sometimes to the point were I just want to wring his neck. Like the other day when out of the blue, he says, "Two babies! Call me the farmer , because baby, I know how to plant seed." What am I supposed to say to that, call me a chicken, because I sure can lay them eggs?
I just looked at him like I hated him. Farmer Matt may never get lucky again.

Gut Feeling
Posted Sunday, August 10, 2008 4:04 PM

Okay, I just have this gut feeling that I am having 2 girls. I wanted girls to begin with, but I resolved myself to knowing I will end up with 2 boys. Now, I am just not sure. I really think there are 2 little bundles of fantastic female joy inside me. I have been having dreams that I give birth to one little red-head beauty, then one blonde. I know it seems strange, but it just feels like this.

The Girl Prediction
Posted Monday, August 11, 2008 11:49 AM

It was very scary when my Dr. was bringing up the word "Hyperemesis". Although, last week, I was just praying for the cure. Now that I have this constant sickness with only occasional vomiting thanks to Zofran, I am feeling lucky that I never was admitted to the hospital.
My Dr. is very happy it is under control because she wanted the hospital to be a last resort. I was reading about the disease and even though it only happens in less than 3% of pregnant women, the rate is much higher in multiple pregnancy.
Matt is terrified of it. Since a side-effect is depression, Matt practically has me on suicide watch. I tell him that I am fine and just because I am feeling bad and get really sad about the pregnancy, doesn't mean I would do anything to hurt myself or these little ones. Still, Matt is scared. I don't blame the guy. He is sweet as can be most of the time, but whenever he does something I don't like, I bite his head off. It is like, I know I shouldn't be so mad at him, but I can't stop myself. I am lucky that he is so understanding, but I tell myself to prepare for the time when he finally just tells me off for being this way (Ha, as if).
I was reading something about hyperemesis this morning though that intrigued me. I was reading about myths for determining sex. I was shocked when I heard a supposed non-myth, that hyperemesis typically happens during pregnancies with girls. I just felt like these are little gals, or maybe just girly boys, who knows (just kidding :).
I got kinda excited. I just have this hunch still. I will be absolutely astounded if I have 2 little girls, one with red hair, one with blonde, like in my dream. I would have to start playing the lottery. I always joked that my backup plan involves lots of lottery tickets, maybe it really should.

Aversions
Posted Thursday, August 14, 2008 12:54 PM

Chicken is quite possibly my most favorite food in the whole world. Now, the idea of eating it makes my skin crawl. The second I smell chicken, I have to throw up. It makes me sad.
Although, I practically have an aversion to everything now. I just have to eat my fig neutons, drink my apple juice and smile because absolutely nothing tastes good anymore.
I am constantly spitting. Hypersalivation sucks. Just a side-effect of hyperemesis. Yay! Not. I take zofran and reglan together now because I spent half of last night leaned over the toilet. I am so sick and tired of this. I get on a medicine that works great for a week, then my fairytale is over. So now, the plan is to put me on 2 medications that have failed me and hope that together, they can keep me out of the hospital.
Matt was such a sweetheart last night. He has been upset. I went to bed last night fairly early from what I have been doing. Matt came in the bedroom and gave me a really great backrub. I felt so bad last night from being so sick. I really do feel depressed at times. I just feel so sad, and I don't want him to make me feel better. Thank God he never listens to me when I say it though. I think he wanted to cry last night when he said that he is so sorry for what I am going through.
He told me that he just feels like crap that he can be so excited about this and that he took part in making these babies, and yet, he has made me so sick. He has read a lot on hyperemesis and he is so scared something really bad will happen to me. I am hard-headed and still feel somewhat invincible to serious injury. You would think that a girl who has been in the ER as much as I have would feel a bit more cautious. But no, I doubt that any extremely bad things will happen.
I am also determined to carry these babies 38 weeks, until March 14th. Matt wants these little babies born on his birthday so badly and I want that so much for him. Last night after my backrub, Matt laid his head on my tummy and just gave it kisses, and was whispering to the babies. I fell asleep to him talking to our little ones, and just thinking about it makes me feel a bit like the Grinch when his "heart grew 3 sizes that day." I am so happy to have a family with Matt. I really am the luckiest woman to have ever lived.
And speaking of Dr Seuss, Lookie what I bought!